Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Michelle Jacoby and by How.com.vn staff writer, Carmine Shannon. Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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So a guy just told you that you look great…but what exactly did he mean? Compliments can be hard to figure out, but luckily there are some ways that you can tell if he’s flirting or just being polite. We spoke to dating expert and founder of DC Matchmaking Michelle Jacoby to get her advice on how to tell if someone’s flirting with you (and what to do). By paying attention to his body language and the context of your situation, you can unravel this mystery in no time!
Things You Should Know
- When a guy says “You look great,” there’s a good chance he’s just giving you a compliment.
- Pay attention to his body language to see if he’s flirting or just being polite. If he leans in, makes a lot of eye contact, mirrors your behavior, or touches you, he’s probably flirting.
- Generally, you can just respond by saying “Thank you,” or complimenting him, as well.
Steps
Possible Meanings of “You Look Great”
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He’s giving you a compliment. When someone says “you look great,” they often mean just that—you’re looking good! He may be noticing the effort you put into your appearance and wants to let you know that it’s working for you.- If he says it with a warm smile and then moves on in the conversation, there’s a pretty good chance he just wanted to compliment you—no ulterior motives here.
He’s flirting with you. If he’s pointing his body towards you, leaning in close to you, making lots of eye contact, or looking up and down your body, there’s a good chance “you look great” really means “I think you’re attractive.”- Michelle Jacoby, founder of DC Matchmaking, says there are a few ways you can tell if someone’s flirting—“If someone is facing you with their belly button…mirroring you, like, you have your hand on your chin and you look [at them and] their hand is on their chin, [or] if someone touches…your back or your arm, that’s an indication that [they like you].”
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He’s being polite. Some people like to get conversations going by complimenting the other person.[1] If he seems stiff or awkward, doesn’t make eye contact, or if you’re in a formal setting, there’s a good chance this is the case.- For example, if you’re at work, a meeting, or a dinner party, someone may say “You look great” to start a conversation.
- If he often compliments other people’s appearances, that may just be a way he likes to interact with people.
He’s trying to win you over. If someone tells you over and over that “You look great,” then either he says that to everyone or he’s trying to win your affection by constantly complimenting you. There’s a chance that he’s attracted to you, but he may just want you to like him, generally.[2]
He said it accidentally. If he seemed surprised when he saw you and blurted out “Wow, you look great!” there’s a chance that he was caught off guard by how good you look. If you did something different with your hair or have an especially nice outfit on, he may have just said it accidentally.- If he seems embarrassed after saying it, that’s another sign that it was unintentional.
- There might be more at play here, so think about the context of your relationship. If you get other signs that he’s into you, he may have a secret crush.
How to Respond to “You Look Great”
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Say thank you. When someone compliments you, smiling at them and saying “Thank you” is a nice way of acknowledging it and showing your appreciation. No matter what you think he meant, this is a good response.- Pay attention to the context of the situation to figure out if you should just move on or if this is a hint that he’s attracted to you.
- If he texted you “You look great,” take “texting tone” into account. Jacoby notes that “include[ing] big words like “awesome”...[and using] exclamation points and smiley faces…give[s] your writing…warmth.” He may be more enthusiastic over text, just to be sure his message isn’t misunderstood.
Return the compliment. If you see something about their appearance that you like, feel free to say something nice to them about it. You could say “Thank you! You too,” or “You’re looking good today, yourself.” Reciprocating someone else’s behavior is a good way to make them feel confident and happy.- If you think they’re flirting with you, you can also flirt back through body language. Face towards them, get closer to them, and lightly touch their arm while you give them the compliment.
Say something playful. If you know the person well and have a playful relationship, you can say something a little more jokey. Some responses are “Thanks, I know,” or “Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.”- Raise your eyebrows and smile so they know you’re not being entirely serious. Sometimes comments like that can come off as arrogant if the other person doesn't realize you’re joking.
Strike up a conversation. If it seems like someone is complimenting you as a way of making small talk, take the opportunity to start a conversation with them. You could do this by complimenting them, asking them about their taste in fashion, or just saying “Thank you” and asking them a question.
Expert Q&A
Tips
- If a girl says “You look great!” there’s a higher chance that the compliment is just a compliment. Women and girls are often socialized to be more open about their feelings, so saying something nice about someone’s appearance isn’t such a big deal.Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about dating, check out our in-depth interview with Michelle Jacoby.
References
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