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Do you often feel taken advantage of in your relationships, but you can’t quite figure out why? Maybe your partner tries to help, but they do things poorly or they “forget” half the time. There’s a chance that you’re dealing with weaponized incompetence, especially if this is a pattern of behavior and not just a one-off deal. Fortunately, you’re not alone—many people find themselves dealing with a partner, friend, or coworker who leans on them a little too much. In this article, we’ll tell you more about weaponized incompetence, including how to spot it and how to handle it in your relationships.
Things You Should Know
- Weaponized incompetence is a pattern of behavior where a person pretends to be bad at a mundane task to avoid doing it.
- Weaponized incompetence mainly happens in romantic relationships. It can also happen in friendships, co-parenting relationships, and in the workplace.
- Red flags to watch out for include “forgetting” to do tasks and someone telling you you’re better at a boring or mundane task.
- Communicate about the patterns you’ve noticed, and set clear boundaries to avoid being taken advantage of.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/18931/weaponized-incompetence/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/people-planet-profits/202007/theyre-so-incompetent-think-again
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/news/relationship-psa-don-t-be-the-parent-who-fakes-incompetence-to-avoid-doing-their-job/
- ↑ https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB117675628452071687
- ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/18931/weaponized-incompetence/
- ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/18931/weaponized-incompetence/
- ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/18931/weaponized-incompetence/
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/news/relationship-psa-don-t-be-the-parent-who-fakes-incompetence-to-avoid-doing-their-job/
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/news/relationship-psa-don-t-be-the-parent-who-fakes-incompetence-to-avoid-doing-their-job/
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/08/style/household-parenting-marriage-share-work.html
- ↑ https://www.parents.com/news/relationship-psa-don-t-be-the-parent-who-fakes-incompetence-to-avoid-doing-their-job/
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-split-the-chores-with-your-partner-minus-the-drama-and-fighting/
- ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/18931/weaponized-incompetence/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries
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