Download ArticleDownload ArticleThis article was co-authored by Russell Hartstein, CDBC, CPDT. Russell Hartstein is a Certified Dog & Cat Trainer and CEO of Fun Paw Care in Los Angeles, California. With over 25 years of training, nutrition, boarding, and daycare experience, Russell and the Fun Paw Care team provide the most current, humane, and science-based methods utilizing force-free positive reinforcement to train and care for pets. Russell is an author for PetMD, Chewy, and Dogster. He is also regularly cited in publications from various organizations, including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA). He is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant with the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants and a Certified Pet Dog Trainer. He received his bachelor’s degree in History and Economics from Binghamton University.
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Cats are the best. They're soft, sweet, independent little pets...but how can you get your cute cat to actually like cuddling with you? We've got all the expert-backed tips you need below. To turn your cat into a lap cat, read on!
Steps
Stay calm. One of the best ways to train your cat to be a lap cat is by providing a calm presence. By being calm, you’ll signal to your cat that you won’t harm or threaten them. Make sure to:- Relax and try to not be tense.
- Avoid breathing quickly. Try to take slow and deliberate breaths. Fast breathing will signal that you’re nervous, and your cat may avoid you.
- Don’t move quickly. If you make sudden movements, you’ll scare your cat.[1]
Maintain positive body language. In order to get your cat to be a lap cat, you’ve got to maintain positive body language. By maintaining positive body language, you’ll send the signal to your cat that you’re nonthreatening, you’re a positive force, and you’re someone they want to be around.- Don’t interact with your cat when you are angry or visibly unhappy.
- Avoid standing in a threatening manner. Don’t cross your arms, hunch over, or have a tense posture.
- Hold an inviting or open stance. Make sure your arms are open, and your back and shoulders are upright.[2]
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Avoid staring at your cat. The way you look at your cat will set the tone of your interactions. If you stare at your cat, you’ll signal that you’re either a predator or you’re trying to intimidate them.- Don’t hold your glance on your cat for more than a few seconds.
- Depending on your cat’s demeanor, it might help to avert your eyes if your cat is approaching you. Looking away will signal that you’re not a threat.[3]
Turn off distractions. Before taking steps to bond with your cat, you should consider turning off any distractions that may scare or startle your cat. By turning off distractions, you’ll help create an environment in which you and your cat will be able to bond.- Place your phone on silent.
- Turn off your TV or music.
- Inform your family, friends, or roommates that you’d like your home to be a calmer environment for an hour or so.[4]
Let your cat come to you. After you’ve created a calming environment, you should sit down somewhere and let your cat come to you. This is important, since lap cats are defined by the fact that they want to be around their caretakers.- Pick a place that is comfortable for you and your cat. A comfy spot is important, since comfort often translates to your ability to relax.
- Read a book or otherwise engage in a quiet activity.
- Don’t chase your cat down. Chasing your cat down will only alienate them.
- Allow your cat to leave, if they want to leave.[5]
Provide positive reinforcement. A great way to enhance a bonding experience with your cat is to make it double rewarding for them. By providing a reward for sitting on your lap, you’ll build a positive association for your cat.- Give your cat a treat when they sit on your lap.
- Consider stuffing your pockets with catnip or some other treat or scent that your cat likes.
- Pat or rub your cat in a way that they like when they sit on your lap.
- Repeat phrases like “good kitty” when your cat sits on your lap.[6]
Avoid harsh discipline. The single best way to alienate your cat from you is to deal out harsh discipline. By disciplining your cat harshly, you’ll send the signal that you are a threat. As a result, your cat won’t want to sit on your lap – or even be close to you.- Never hit your cat.
- Don’t yell at or scold your cat.
- Embrace behavior modification. Reward your cat with treats for good behavior. Hold back treats for bad behavior. For instance, give your cat a treat if they use the litter box instead of peeing on a chair.
Show affection to your cat regularly. If you show your cat affection on a daily basis, you’ll build a solid foundation for turning your cat into a lap cat.- Whenever your cat approaches you for petting or for love, offer it to them.
- Talk to your cat and say things like “I love you!” whenever appropriate.
- Invite your cat to sit with you or to come to you by making noises like “Psssh psssh psssh!” [7]
Provide attention and care for your cat. Perhaps the most important way to turn your cat into a lap cat is to act as a responsible guardian and caretaker for your cat. By acting as a responsible caretaker, your cat will learn to rely on you. As a result, your cat will naturally view you in an affectionate manner.- Feed your cat regularly. When feeding your cat, talk to them and say things like “good kitty” or “good kitty is hungry!”
- Provide water.
- Provide scratching posts, cat perches, and more.[8]
Play with your cat. One of the best ways to turn your cat into a lap cat is to play with them a lot. By playing with your cat, you’ll build a positive relationship. Your cat will learn to view you as not just a guardian, but also a friend.- Play interactive games with your cat. You may to try a fishing pole teaser toy.
- Buy stuffed toy mice and stuff them with catnip.
- Consider any toys or games that your cat may like.[9]
Expert Q&A
- QuestionHow do I show my cat the most affection?
Russell Hartstein, CDBC, CPDTRussell Hartstein is a Certified Dog & Cat Trainer and CEO of Fun Paw Care in Los Angeles, California. With over 25 years of training, nutrition, boarding, and daycare experience, Russell and the Fun Paw Care team provide the most current, humane, and science-based methods utilizing force-free positive reinforcement to train and care for pets. Russell is an author for PetMD, Chewy, and Dogster. He is also regularly cited in publications from various organizations, including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA). He is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant with the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants and a Certified Pet Dog Trainer. He received his bachelor’s degree in History and Economics from Binghamton University.
Certified Dog & Cat TrainerIt's important to know how a cat expresses love and affection. For instance, humans tend to show affection with direct eye contact, while slow blinking is how cats prefer to show affection. It also depends on your cat—some cats love to be pet everywhere, while others don't.
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about training cats, check out our in-depth interview with Russell Hartstein, CDBC, CPDT.
References
- ↑ http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/seven-tips-for-turning-your-cat-into-a-lap-cat/
- ↑ http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/seven-tips-for-turning-your-cat-into-a-lap-cat/
- ↑ http://www.vetstreet.com/dr-marty-becker/5-ways-to-turn-your-kitty-into-a-lap-cat
- ↑ http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/seven-tips-for-turning-your-cat-into-a-lap-cat/
- ↑ http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/seven-tips-for-turning-your-cat-into-a-lap-cat/
- ↑ http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/seven-tips-for-turning-your-cat-into-a-lap-cat/
- ↑ http://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/how-to-talk-to-your-cat
- ↑ http://www.petplace.com/article/cats/behavior-training/training-your-cat/how-to-convert-your-reclusive-cat-to-a-cuddly-lap-kitty
- ↑ http://www.petplace.com/article/cats/behavior-training/training-your-cat/how-to-convert-your-reclusive-cat-to-a-cuddly-lap-kitty
About This Article
If you want to turn your cat into a lap cat, it can take some time, but you can do it if you’re patient. Turn off the TV or radio and mute your cell phone to ensure the cat isn’t startled, then sit down somewhere comfortable and do something quiet, like reading a book. If the cat comes over to sit with you, stay calm and relaxed, and give the cat positive reinforcement by petting it and saying something like, “Good kitty.” You can even put treats in your pocket beforehand to reward the cat for sitting on your lap. For tips from our Veterinary reviewer on how to play with your cat to build a stronger bond, read on!
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