How to Tell if a Man Is Full of It

You’ve met a new guy and you’re on top of the world. You wonder, however, if he feels the same way about you. Perhaps you’ve noticed some sketchy behavior on his end or you think he may be hiding something. You can tell if he is full of it by checking for common warning signs and taking a closer look at his behavior. Then, spend some time evaluating the relationship to see if it's worth continuing.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Looking for Warning Signs

1
Pay attention to if his future involves you. Men who are serious about a relationship talk about the future and your role in it. Men who aren’t avoid the subject like the plague. He’s likely not planning on spending too much time with you if he doesn’t include you in the time ahead.
- For instance, if he refuses to talk about if he wants children or believes in marriage, he’s probably not in it for the long haul. He’s probably only planning to stick around for the time being, despite what he may tell you.^{[1]XResearch source}
2
Watch if he makes plans without discussing them with you first. He may tell you he wants a serious relationship, but his actions could prove otherwise. People who consider themselves to be a couple generally check in with the other person before making plans. Or, at least, they let the other person know. Your man may not be as serious as he claims if he doesn’t consider your plans when he’s making his.
- A red flag your significant other is full of it is if he goes away for the weekend and doesn’t tell you about it. Or, if he makes significant plans that could potentially affect you and doesn’t inform you of them. You’re not a factor in his mind if he doesn’t consider you when making these plans.^{[2]XResearch source}
3
Think about if he assumes you will accompany him to places. Are you his “go-to” when it comes to bringing a date somewhere? If not, there’s a chance he’s not into the relationship as much as you may want. There shouldn’t be any question, particularly in a date situation, that you are his tag along. He’s probably full of it if there is.
- You may want to reconsider your relationship if he is taking other romantic interests to functions, especially if you think you are exclusive.^{[3]XResearch source}
4
Ask yourself if he hides secrets from you. People who have nothing to hide are pretty transparent. Those who constantly seem secretive, however, are probably full of it. He shouldn’t have to hide anything, unless he is lying about how he feels towards you.
- For instance, if he doesn’t want to tell you where he’s been or what he’s doing when you’re not together, doesn’t want to talk about his friends or social circle, or you find out things he’s done after the fact, he may not be the person you hoped he was.^{[4]XResearch source}
5
Notice if you hang out with his friends. A man who isn’t afraid to bring his romantic interests in front of his friends is someone who is serious about them. On the flip side, if you never hang out or aren’t even introduced to them, you may not be someone the guy wants to be seen with in front of them.
- Not meeting his friends could be a sign that he is seeing other people, isn’t serious about you, or is embarrassed of you. You may want to reconsider your relationship if this is the case.^{[5]XResearch source}
- This is only true if you have agreed on an exclusive relationship and have been seeing each other for a decent span of time. Your partner may not be interested in introducing you to friends and family if he hasn't known you long enough.
6
Determine if his family knows about you. You may have introduced him to everyone you know, including your family members. He, on the other hand, may have only introduced you to his pet fish. He may not be as serious as you or may not think you are important enough to introduce to his family if he hasn’t already.
- Ask him if you are going to meet his family. If he agrees, then he may be the right person for you. If not and if he avoids the subject entirely, it may be time to move on if you are looking for something more serious.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Again, keep in mind that meeting the parents (and other family) early on in a relationship is rare. If you and your beau have just started dating, give it a few months before pressuring him to meet the family.
7
Pay attention to if he takes you to his favorite places. Everyone has a favorite restaurant, bar, or hangout. In fact, that may be where you first met. He may not want to be seen with you in public or take you to a place he commonly frequents if he doesn’t take you there.
- Ask him why he doesn’t want to share his favorite places with you. You could say, “I know you love going to that bar down the street. Why don’t we go there sometime soon?” There’s likely a good chance he’s not looking for a commitment with you if he consistently declines.^{[7]XResearch source}
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Investigating His Behavior

1
See if he really listens to you and engages in the conversation. Do you feel like you always do the talking and he is just listening because he has to? Is he skimpy on how much he actually discusses with you? This could be a sign that he’s not really the person he portrays himself to be.
- For example, he may only share the bare minimum of what he has to in order to maintain your relationship. He probably isn’t really interested in getting to know you if he doesn’t ask you questions or doesn’t look for your opinion.^{[8]XResearch source}
A guy who is genuinely interested in you wants to know how you’re doing and how your day has been. He wants to hear from you every day, or at least every other day. If he can go a few days or even a week without hearing from you, he may not truthful with how he feels about you.^{[9]XResearch source}
3
Watch if he welcomes your items into his home. Couples who spend a lot of time at each other’s homes typically leave essential items there. Toothbrushes, hairbrushes, clothing, and other items are usually accepted if the person wants to make room for you in their life. If not, the relationship may be less serious than you want.
- Leave something at his place and see how he responds. If he returns it to you the next time he sees you, ask if it’s OK to leave it there. If he says no, he may have other romantic interests in his home all of the time or he isn’t as committed as you are.^{[10]XResearch source}
4
Watch his behavior when he talks to you. You can tell a lot about a person by their body language and how they talk. Look at him closely the next time you are asking him a question about the relationship. You may find out a lot just by paying attention.
- If he changes his story, looks uncomfortable or nervous, repeats the same question, or is only willing to listen to his side, there’s a chance he is full of it.^{[11]XResearch source}
5
Note how he responds when you’re sick. The way he behaves when you’re feeling under the weather says a lot about how he feels about the relationship. While he may not do the same things you would if he were sick, what he does—or doesn’t—do, can tell you how much he cares.
- For instance, if he brings you food or simply just comes over to cuddle with you, there’s a good chance he really cares for you. He may not be invested if he stays away.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Evaluating the Relationship

1
Be conscious of timing. If your relationship is relatively new, it's not all that uncommon for couples to have goals and future plans that diverge. Similarly, newer couples may still have completely different inner circles of family and friends. When you and your partner develop a deeper commitment to the relationship and each other, this changes.
- If your boyfriend is tentative about plans and goals or hasn't introduced you to his loved one, it may not necessarily mean he's not into you. Decide if you have been together long enough (i.e.longer than a few months). It may also help to question if you have labeled your relationship as "exclusive."^{[12]XResearch source}
2
Identify your priorities. Every relationship requires a bit of reorganizing of the parts to make the whole work. Although your mate may show some of these signs, you might want to ask yourself if they are deal-breakers or whether you can learn to live with them. Ponder what you want out of the relationship and whether your current partner is giving it to you.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Make a list of the most important aspects of a relationship from your point-of-view. Then, go down the list and evaluate where your partner stands on each characteristic.
3
Communicate with your partner. Relationships are not one-sided, so your decision-making shouldn't be either. Choose an appropriate time to sit down with your partner and share your reservations. He may be able to explain some of his choices or behaviors and put your mind at ease.^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- You might say, "I'm very concerned that, after three months, I haven't met any of your friends. Can you explain why?"
- Listen actively to your partner, giving him the chance to fully share his side of things before responding.
4
Make a decision. After you have discussed the issue with your partner, you will need to arrive at a conclusion. Is your partner full of it? Do you think he's serious about you? It's important to listen to your instincts on this one. They could be giving you clues about how to move forward.
- You might decide to end the relationship now, or postpone the decision until a later date. For example, if you think maybe your relationship is still young, you might wait a few months to see if some of your concerns work themselves out.
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Expert Q&A

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How do you know if a guy is treating you badly?
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Expert Answer
If you're constantly making excuses to others for your partner's behavior, it's a good sign that you're making too many sacrifices in the relationship.
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