How to Talk to Teens About Personal Hygiene

As teenagers make the transition into adulthood, they will face a variety of changes, including ones that impact hygiene. It is likely that they will simply forget, or be unsure, about caring for themselves in a healthy way. To talk to teens about personal hygiene, it is a good idea to pick a quiet, alone time for the conversation. Be supportive and provide clear examples of good hygienic practices. Offer plenty of products for your teen to use and continue to communicate about their personal needs.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Choosing the Right Time and Place

1
Talk with them at the first signs of puberty. It is a good idea to talk this subject over with a pre-teen so that they are prepared when they hit adolescence. However, you can also wait until you notice the signs of puberty and see your teen struggling with them. At that point, start casually mentioning the importance of hygiene.^{[1]XResearch source}
- You might say, “I've noticed that you don't have enough wash cloths to clean your face daily. Would you like me to buy some for you?”
- Be sure to have a direct conversation with your pre-teen as well. Talk with them about the importance of things like clipping their nails, cleaning their ears, showering daily, wearing clean clothes, using deodorant, washing their hair, and brushing their teeth.
2
Get their attention. You want to pick a time where your teen will pay attention to the conversation, such as during a car ride. Look for a time with few distractions and avoid the period immediately before and after school. During this time, ask them to put away their cell phone. Keep the discussion brief as well so that they don't get bored or start tuning you out. You should also know the times at which your teen will be the most receptive to your advice. For example, if they are not a morning person, then it is probably a good idea to wait until that evening.
- You could say, “When you are finished with your homework, let's sit and talk for a bit.”
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Pursue this subject when you are alone and one-on-one, not in public or around their friends. If you embarrass them by discussing hygiene in front of other people, your teen will be less likely to confide in you in the future.^{[2]XResearch source}
4
Verify that your information is accurate. Before you start to give advice, spend some time on the internet looking at reputable medical websites, such as the Mayo Clinic, to see what they recommend for teen hygiene. This will ensure that you are accurate and won't contradict anything the teen might have heard already from teachers.^{[3]XTrustworthy SourceMayo ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitalsGo to source}
- Your teen's pediatrician can be a source of really useful information in this respect. Ask them for advice regarding the best way to approach the topic and see if they would recommend any products in particular. You might say, “Is there a particular face wash that you would recommend to combat teen acne?”
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Communicating Effectively

1
Be caring and empathetic. It is quite possible that your teen may be embarrassed about their hygiene, but is simply unsure how to fix it. Or, they may not realize that anything is wrong until you tell them otherwise. Either way, make sure to proceed cautiously and include praise about their appearance as well.^{[4]XResearch source}
- For example, you might say, “You have such lovely hair. I just bought you a new shampoo that is supposed to bring out your highlights even more for summer. Why don't you try it out and let me know if you like it?”
- Do not laugh and avoid joking with them when you have this talk. If they have questions, be sure to praise them for asking.
2
Emphasize the social aspect of good hygiene. Talk with them about how they are doing with their friends. Ask about trends in hair care or style. Use this an entry point into discussing how they could be a trendsetter by being really in tune with the latest products and grooming techniques.^{[5]XResearch source}
- Whatever you do, do not point out that your teen will, “Have no friends,” if they don't follow your advice. This will be perceived as a threat and will get a negative reaction. Instead, you might say that “even more people” will be drawn to them if they practice good hygiene.
- You could also point out that following good hygiene practices will make them a positive role model for their younger friends or siblings. You might say, “It would be great if you could be a model for your younger sister and take a shower every day. She really looks up to you.”
- You can also make jokes about the situation, but in a positive way. For example, you could remark how your daughter will smell the best out of the entire school, especially with all of those smelly teen boys around.
3
Provide teens with clear examples. Don't just speak in generalities or your teen will probably lose interest. Instead, draw upon your personal experience to relate cautionary tales of poor hygiene. You can also mention those cases where someone reaped rewards for taking care of themselves. It is best if these examples are persons who the teens know directly.
- For example, you might talk about a teen cousin who had to go to the dentist for a root canal after refusing to brush their teeth for years. Or, you could talk about how another cousin cleared up the acne from her face by following a strict face washing routine.
4
Ask your teens if they have any questions. This is probably the most important step of all. You must keep the lines of communication open. Give your teen a chance to pepper you with questions and treat all questions importantly. Try to answer what you can and be a good listener as they are explaining their concerns.
- For example, your son might tell you that he's concerned his facial hair will re-grow darker after shaving. You can discuss this with him and perhaps even do some internet research together.
- Instead of just saying, “Do you have any questions?” you might ask, “Do you have any questions about proper hair care?”
- You can also be more specific by asking things like, "How are you feeling about your skin lately? Are you having any problems?" Show that you are willing to help them problem-solve.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Covering Specific Issues

1
Discuss taking regular showers and baths. Your teen most likely needs to take a shower every day or every other day in order to keep clean and reduce odor. Talk with them about their preferred shower products, including scented gels. They may also want certain towels or loofahs to help with the cleaning process.^{[6]XResearch source}
- As your teen starts to shower every day, they might notice that their skin gets dry. Talk with them about using lotion to help with any dryness.
- Your teen may also want to customize their shower routine in order to avoid oily hair or dry skin. You might ask, “Do you like the shampoo that you are using or would you like to look for a new one?”
2
Discuss preventing body odor and minimizing sweating. Most teens, especially if they are engaged in athletic activities, will start to sweat heavily as they go through puberty. Talk to them about their clothing needs and do extra laundry, if needed. Discuss with them the possibility of using deodorants or antiperspirants to mask the odor or control moisture.^{[7]XResearch source}
- If they are participating in sports, you could say, “I notice that you are going through a number of shirts in soccer, which I expect since it's so hot. But, would you like a few new ones?”
- You might also suggest that they keep some deodorant in their gym bag, locker, or car just in case they forget to use it one day. Then, they will have some handy to use.
3
Discuss how to manage body hair. Both boys and girls will likely need to start shaving once they hit their teen years. You can discuss the different product options available to them, from protected razors to scented creams. You might also want to guide them in practicing shaving without a blade. Emphasize the need to go slow as well, whatever method they choose.^{[8]XResearch source}
- If you notice that the teen has an excessive amount of hair, you may want to make an appointment with a doctor to rule out any medical issues and discuss removal options, if desired. You might say to your teen, “You've mentioned that you hate shaving. Would you like to talk with our doctor about other removal choices?”
4
Discuss how to care for their teeth. Emphasize that the good oral care routines that were established in childhood need to carry on into the teen years. They should brush at least twice a day. It is also a good idea to floss once or twice a day as well. You may want to invest in an electric toothbrush to make this process easier and quicker for your teen.^{[9]XResearch source}
- Be sure to explain to your teen that good dental hygiene is not just important for good breath, but also for maintaining the health of their teeth over time. By having good dental hygiene, they may be able to prevent damage later in life.
5
Discuss skin care. Oily skin is a common problem for teens as their hormones rage out of control. You may want to encourage your teen to wash their face on a regular basis, even using specialty soaps. However, also tell them to be gentle and to avoid picking or scratching at their skin. Visiting a dermatologist is another option if the problem is severe.^{[10]XResearch source}
- If your teen expresses sadness or hopelessness about their skin, let them know that this is only temporary and that most people experience skin problems during this time.
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Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Helping Your Teen Make Adjustments

1
Ask them how you can help. As often as you can, see how you can be of service to your teen as they attempt to change their smelly ways. See if they need more time in the restroom in the mornings to get ready. If so, then perhaps help them to wake up a bit earlier. Or, if they need more money to buy items, see if they can give you a list and you'll get them.^{[11]XResearch source}
- You might say, “I'm running to the store for a few things. Would you like to give me a list of any bathroom or personal items that you need?”
- You can also help your teen problem-solve. For example, if they are low on time in the mornings, then you might suggest that they shower the night before or lay out their clothes to help make getting ready in the morning a little faster.
2
Take your teens shopping for personal hygiene products. Depending on your teen they may be excited or dreading going shopping. So, tailor the trip according to their personality and needs. You could even split this up into a few brief shopping trips as well. When you go out, give them the freedom to browse the aisles and choose what they like.^{[12]XResearch source}
- It may be a good idea to direct them toward a particular aisle and then give them some privacy. You could say, “Why don't you hang out here and pick out a shaving cream that you like and anything else you want. I am going to head over to the frozen foods, just find me when you are done.”
- After you buy the products, if they plan on taking them to school, remind them that it is not a good idea to share hygiene items with others as you can get all sorts of infections and illnesses.^{[13]XResearch source}
3
Leave interesting hygiene products in your teen's bathroom. You can also do some shopping on your own and stock your teen's bathroom with an assortment of new products. Keep an eye on which ones they use and keep those filled. If they seem to avoid others, perhaps try a new brand or scent. Keep in mind that what you might buy for you might not be trendy or eye-catching enough for your teen.^{[14]XResearch source}
- If they ask about a particular product that you left out, you might say, “A friend told me that she loved that shampoo, so I thought you might like it too.”
4
Make hygiene a part of your daily routine. Schedule in particular times for certain aspects of hygienic care each day. That way your teen will know what to expect and is more likely to just go with the flow. Make sure that all members of your family participate and try to keep on track, even over holidays and school breaks.
- For example, about 15 minutes before bed time make a point to encourage all of your family members to hit the bathroom and brush their teeth.
- You can also get them into a routine of making and keeping haircut appointments, dentist appointments, etc. After this routine is established, you can even have them start scheduling their own. This will be a helpful habit for them to have in adulthood.
Your teens are watching how you behave and will look to you as a role model. So, make sure to take time to take care of yourself, even if you are busy. Talk to them about the products that you enjoy or the medical appointments that you've scheduled. Tell them your opinions about your dentist and ask for theirs as well. Keep the bathroom door open, when reasonable, so your teen can watch you go about your routine.^{[15]XResearch source}
6
Recognize and praise improvements in your teen's hygiene. Offer sincere praise at regular intervals. However, make sure that you don't draw too much of a contrast between past and present. Instead, talk about how they continue to improve as they mature and grow up. This will make them proud and more likely to follow your advice in the future.^{[16]XResearch source}
- You might say, “I'm so happy that you've stopped biting your nails. I knew they would be beautiful if they grew out. Has it been hard to resist biting?”
7
Watch out for other troubling behaviors. If you notice that the teen is also appearing downcast or depressed, then you may be dealing with a larger mental health issue. Try to observe the teen's sleeping and eating patterns to get more of a clue regarding their overall mindset. If you continue to be concerned, seek out the help of a medical professional.^{[17]XResearch source}
- Consider how your teen was about a year ago and see if there is a stark contrast in how they are now. This can be a clue that they are suffering.
If you are working with a teen who is special needs or has additional complicating issues, you may want to speak with a counselor or your pediatrician. They may be able to offer you additional modeling techniques. They can also assist in teaching the teen how to be aware of social cues indicating proper hygiene practices.^{[18]XResearch source}
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Tips

Realize that you are still limited in influence, even if you are a parent. The teen is the one with the ultimate choice as to what actions they will, or will not, take.
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Warnings

Do not physically force or coerce a teen into behaving in a certain way. This will only foster resentment and cause more problems in the long term.
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