How to Stop Obsessing over Getting Pregnant

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IN THIS ARTICLE

1Treat yourself when you get your period.

2Keep sex fun.

3Keep pregnancy tests to a minimum.

4Clear your schedule.

5Find control.

6Think positively.

7Purge your socials.

8Meditate and practice yoga.

9Slow down before bed.

10Get your rest.

11Adopt a pet.

12Make a plan for the worst case.

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When you're trying to conceive, it may feel like every other thought is about pregnancy, or ovulation, or your last period. You might want nothing more than to put your obsessive thoughts on pause, so you can get back to feeling like yourself again. Luckily, there are so many ways to keep pregnancy worries at bay. And when you do, you'll be free to truly enjoy your life again and to take each day as it comes to you. Below, we’ve pulled together tips and tricks to help you find perspective when you need it, so you can stop obsessing over getting pregnant.

Steps

1

Treat yourself when you get your period.

1. 
   If your monthly visitor arrives, find time to create a moment of joy. By distracting yourself with bliss, you’re keeping your mind occupied on a day that may be extra stressful for you. Focus on celebrating yourself, something you love, or even just a simple pleasure. You deserve to reconnect with all of the great things in your life, so go ahead a do that!

   • If you have a free afternoon, take yourself to the nail salon. Or, for a cheaper option, treat yourself to a long, beautiful walk outside.
   • If there's something you absolutely love to do, make time for it. Play tennis with a pal, coupon while you drink your coffee, or take the night to paint.
   • Even five minutes of joy can be effective. Pick up a box of chocolates for yourself, a bouquet of flowers for the kitchen, or a latte before work.
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2

Keep sex fun.

1. 
   Your goal to conceive shouldn't dominate your thoughts — or your sex life. If you're constantly having sex just to get pregnant, it may start to feel like a burden or a chore. And you deserve so much more than that! Reignite the spark in your bedroom by having sex just for fun, or better yet, commit to a new and an exciting sexual experience.

   • Mix up your location. Go to a nice hotel and bring along a bottle of champagne.
   • Or, try something you've never done before. If there's a role-playing fantasy you've always been curious about, make it happen.

3

Keep pregnancy tests to a minimum.

1. 
   If you find yourself falling into a testing spiral, put a limit on yourself. Buying pregnancy test after pregnancy test is just going to empower those obsessive thoughts you're dealing with. Try to remind yourself that the number of tests you take won't change the end result, it just stands to make you miserable in the meantime. So instead, commit to testing yourself only once a week.

   • If you're going through the process with a partner, let them in on your plan. That way, you have someone to help keep you accountable.
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4

Clear your schedule.

1. 
   A hectic schedule may add to your stress, so drop things you don't need. Whether or not you’re going through fertility treatments, if you’re trying to get pregnant, your schedule could be overwhelming. Give yourself permission to drop some responsibilities. This way, even while trying to get pregnant, you still have time to do all those great things you really love.

   • For example, if you'd normally join your pal for a spin class but don't feel like making the drive, go for a solo run instead.
   • Or, if you're typically the first person to pick up the slack at work, consider letting someone else jump in.

5

Find control.

1. 
   To reclaim your agency, focus on things that you have power over. Sure, you can't control when you get pregnant. But you can control which gorgeous, bold outfit you'll put on today for work. Taking the reins can be super empowering, and you should be able to have some fun doing it, too.

   • Be intentional about eating a healthy, delicious breakfast. If you’ve always wanted to make more time for a morning meal, make that your goal.
   • There's nothing stopping you from going all out (Pancakes? Parfait? Your call!).
   • Bring some order into your life by organizing your closet. Take a free morning to totally refresh and revamp your wardrobe.
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6

Think positively.

1. 
   Be patient and kind with yourself to put the pause on obsessive thoughts. You’re on your own journey, you’re doing your best already, and you should be proud of yourself for all that you’ve gone through. When your internal dialogue claims you should be doing this or that in order to conceive, try to squash those negative thoughts. Fighting the urge to obsess over your pregnancy is hard enough. At the very least, you deserve some understanding — especially from yourself!

   • Try using a daily mantra to keep your confidence up. Look in the mirror and say, “I am good, I am worthy, I am enough. I'll get pregnant when it's my time!”
   • Challenge negative thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking, “I should be pregnant already,” then offer yourself positive rebuttal.
   • "I’m doing the best I can, and that’s all I can do. I’m proud of myself for how tough I’ve been so far, and I know things will work out!”

7

Purge your socials.

1. 
   If you’re not careful, social media can leave you feeling drained. Next time you peruse Instagram, take note of how the activity makes you feel. Some accounts may seem positive, but they could still be bringing you down. Be on the lookout for anything that triggers your pregnancy worries, because when you're scrolling through your feed, you should be having fun.

   • Accounts that focus on pregnancy, motherhood, or big families may be inciting more stressful thoughts than they're worth.
   • Any time that a post on Instagram brings up negative feelings, feel free to unfollow.
   • If a friend's post spurs difficult feelings, try muting them. This way, you’re not bombarded on your feed each day, but they won't know you've hit mute.
   • If you determine that social media on the whole causes more pregnancy thoughts than it’s worth, definitely feel empowered to delete your apps.
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8

Meditate and practice yoga.

1. 
   Meditation and yoga improve emotional control and overall mood. To bring pregnancy thoughts to a halt, any activity that focuses on mindfulness will be super helpful. Both practices can help you gain control over negative thoughts before they spiral. With your new, relaxed attitude, you can tackle your day with excitement and joy!

   • Learn how to get started practicing yoga from home here.
   • Get tips on beginner's meditation here.

9

Slow down before bed.

1. 
   Winding yourself down before bed will help you get to sleep faster. For many people, stressful overthinking is worst right before bedtime, when our brains have a kind of free reign. You've definitely earned a good night's sleep, so help yourself get there with a calm bedtime activity.

   • Staring at bright screens makes sleep difficult, so avoid your phone, tablet, and computer for at least 30 minutes prior to rest.
   • Tech can also empower obsessive thoughts. If you tend to go down pregnancy-question rabbit holes, that's all the more reason to leave your tech alone.
   • For the last twenty minutes before bed, try playing slow, lyric-less music that you absolutely love.
   • Or, you could try listening to a relaxing podcast or book on tape. Just make sure to avoid anything that might just stress you out, like true crime.
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10

Get your rest.

1. 
   Sleep reduces stress, and less stress means less obsessive thoughts. There are so many ways to get more sleep and to make sure the sleep you do get is as effective as possible. Sticking to a schedule, for example, is one of the best things you can do for your sleep cycles. Make sure you go to bed and get up at close to the same time each day to get your sleep routine down pat.

   • Make sure you’re not having big meals just before bed, drinking caffeine late in the day, or drinking excessively if you know that affects your sleep.
   • Try to make your room as cozy as possible. For most people, a good sleeping room isn’t warm, it’s totally silent, and it’s dark.
   • If noise is an issue in your bedroom, use earplugs.
   • If you can, get active during the day. As long as you don’t work out super close to when you sleep, the exercise should help tire you out.

11

Adopt a pet.

1. 
   Pets can be a positive, healthy addition to your life. If you have the financial ability, the time, and the space for it, a pet can do so much for stress levels and overall happiness. Pets can help us reconnect with some of the best things in life, like the outdoors, long walks, and great cuddles.

   • Plus, some days you may shake the pregnancy worries better than others. In tough moments, pets can be an amazing source of comfort.
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12

Make a plan for the worst case.

1. 
   Confront your biggest pregnancy fears to free yourself of them. Take a moment and envision the outcome that scares you most. Maybe you're worried that you won't get pregnant before the new year. What then? Imagine what you would do if that actually were the case, how you'd handle the disappointment, and how you'd move past it.

   • You would probably talk to your doctor and learn a bit more about your options. You'd make a plan and have the support of your loved ones.
   • Sometimes, when we can think practically about what would actually happen if our fears came to be, we gain control over them.
   • By putting this major worry behind you, you'll be able to approach your life with fresh perspective.

Expert Q&A

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• Question

  Is it normal to obsess over getting pregnant?

  

  Mirjam Quinn, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist

  Dr. Mirjam Quinn is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of Mirjam Quinn and Associates based in Illinois. With over 13 years of experience, she specializes in using cognitive-behavioral, mindfulness-based, and attachment theory grounded therapy techniques to provide psychological care for the whole person. Dr. Quinn also has a special focus on working with people from diverse and multicultural backgrounds and adoptive and blended families. She earned her PhD in Psychology from Purdue University and completed her internship at Butler University. Dr. Quinn is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA) and the APA Division for Peace Psychology and the Society for Child and Family Policy and Practice.

  

  Mirjam Quinn, PhD

  Licensed Clinical Psychologist

  Expert Answer

  Yes, it is! As humans, we're meaning seekers and we like explanations and concrete reasons. We can't always have that with regards to pregnancy, since there are a lot of variables involved. This can lead to obsession and an extreme focus on concrete goals to work towards. So, yeah, it is normal, but sometimes it isn't healthy.

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