How to Sleep when You Are Grieving

If a recent loss has taken a toll on your sleep schedule, you’re definitely not alone. As you grieve, simple tasks like sleeping can feel incredibly challenging. Don’t worry. We’ve put together some simple tips and tricks you can add to your daily routine, which may make it a little easier to get a good night’s rest as you grieve and heal.

1

Journal your thoughts.

  1. How.com.vn English: Jot down any upsetting or overwhelming thoughts.
    As you grieve, it’s completely normal to lie awake at night with racing thoughts. Don’t push these thoughts and feelings away; instead, turn a notebook into your “grief journal,” where you can write down everything that’s on your mind.[1]
    • You might write down a memory you can’t stop thinking about or record all your thoughts and feelings.
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2

Get some exercise.

  1. How.com.vn English: Exercise can help wear you out.
    During this difficult time, post-workout exhaustion might help you get a good night’s sleep. Exercise also creates endorphins, which may help you feel a little better.[2]
    • Endorphins are chemicals that can boost your mood and well-being overall.
    • Simple activities like hiking, going up stairs, or playing a game of Frisbee are great ways to get exercise.[3]
3

Create a sleep sanctuary.

  1. How.com.vn English: Make your bedroom as cozy and relaxing as possible.
    A comfortable sleeping space can help you catch up on your zzzs. Pick out soft, snuggly bedding and pillows, and check that your mattress is comfortable. Set the temperature in your room between 60 and 68 °F (16 and 20 °C), and turn on a white noise machine if the sound helps you relax. Transforming your space into a sleep sanctuary where you can completely unwind will help you achieve a good night’s sleep.[4]
    • Sleeping with a body pillow might be especially comforting if you recently lost a partner.
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4

Wind down before bed.

  1. How.com.vn English: A relaxing routine can help you cope with unsettling, racing thoughts.
    Try to calm your mind ahead of time by doing a few soothing, relaxing activities before you go to bed, such as taking a hot bath or reading a good book.[5]
    • Deep breathing, yoga, and meditation are also great ways to relax and unwind.
5

Turn off your electronics before bed.

  1. How.com.vn English: Electronics give off blue light, which makes it hard to sleep.
    Instead, try stepping away from your TV, computer, phone, or any other electronic device around your home before heading to bed. Limiting your devices might make it a bit easier to fall asleep while you’re grieving.[6]
    • Try using an alarm clock that doesn’t have any blue light, too.
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6

Follow a sleep schedule.

  1. How.com.vn English: Try to get a consistent amount of sleep each night.
    As you grieve, it can be really hard to get a good night’s sleep.[7] Try to set a regular bedtime for yourself, as well as routine wake-up time, so you can get a full night’s rest.[8] Experts agree that adults should get between 7-9 hours of sleep each night.[9]
7

Cut back on naps.

  1. How.com.vn English: Naps make it hard to follow a consistent sleep schedule.
    When you take a nap, your normal sleep schedule gets thrown out of whack. If you start to feel drowsy, try staying awake until some point in the evening.[10]
    • Naps are a normal part of the grieving process, especially in the beginning. However, you should definitely cut back if you’re having trouble falling asleep at night.
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8

Avoid caffeine late in the day.

  1. How.com.vn English: Caffeine keeps you alert and can take a toll on your sleep.
    It can add an extra challenge to your sleep routine, especially if you’re grieving. Try to cut off your caffeine at least 3 hours before you plan on going to bed. This way, it’ll be easier to get some rest.[11]
    • Some research suggests that you shouldn’t drink caffeine within 6 hours before bed.
9

Reduce your drinking before bed.

  1. How.com.vn English: Alcohol is relaxing, but it doesn’t help you stay asleep.
    Believe it or not, alcohol stifles melatonin, a natural hormone that helps you sleep.[12] You might also feel uncomfortable later on as your liver processes the alcohol.[13] Instead, sip on a cup of hot tea made with chamomile, spearmint, and/or other relaxing ingredients.[14]
    • Unfortunately, even less than 1-2 servings of alcohol can lower your overall sleep quality by almost 10%.[15]
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10

Try natural supplements and teas.

  1. How.com.vn English: Natural remedies can help you relax and fall asleep.
    Brew yourself a cup of chamomile or spearmint tea, which are known to be relaxing. Melatonin supplements are another natural way to help you catch some zzzs.[16]
    • Always talk to your doctor before taking a new supplement.
    • Lavender sleep sachets may also help you relax and unwind.
11

Schedule a massage.

  1. How.com.vn English: A massage can help reset your body.
    Massage, acupuncture, reiki, and yoga therapy are all great ways to relax, unwind, and recenter yourself. These treatments can be a great option if you have some trouble relaxing on your own. Before heading to the appointment, ask a friend or loved one if they can drop you off and pick you up, so you can totally unwind.[17]
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12

Talk to a therapist.

  1. How.com.vn English: Therapy is a healthy way to change your thought cycles.
    As you grieve, you might feel trapped or caught in a wave of anxious thoughts. If you can, schedule an appointment with a therapist—they can help you pinpoint your negative thoughts, and teach you how to think more healthily.[18]
    • Some communities even offer free support groups. Talk to your neighbors or local leaders to see if there are any active grief support groups in your area.

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      Tips

      • Go easy on yourself. After losing a loved one, it may take some time before your sleep really improves.[19]
      • Don’t do anything stressful right before bed, like checking work email or paying the bills. Instead, try to stay relaxed before heading to bed.[20]
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      About this article

      How.com.vn English: Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT
      Co-authored by:
      Grief Therapist
      This article was co-authored by Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT and by How.com.vn staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Ken Breniman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Yoga Therapist and Thanatologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Ken has over 15 years experience of providing clinical support and community workshops utilizing a dynamic combination of traditional psychotherapy and yoga therapy. He specializes in eclectic non-denominational yoga guidance, grief therapy, complex trauma recovery and mindful mortal skills development. He has a MSW from Washington University in St. Louis and an MA Certification in Thanatology from Marian University of Fond du Lac. He became certified with the International Association of Yoga Therapists after completing his 500 training hours at Yoga Tree in San Francisco and Ananda Seva Mission in Santa Rosa, CA. This article has been viewed 4,023 times.
      How helpful is this?
      Co-authors: 5
      Updated: July 7, 2022
      Views: 4,023
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 4,023 times.

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