This article was co-authored by Kamal Ravikant and by How.com.vn staff writer, Aly Rusciano. Kamal Ravikant is a bestselling author, podcast host, speaker, and Venture Capitalist. His book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It was a bestseller in the USA. He's had diverse experiences in his life, including meditating with monks in the Himalayas, serving as a US Army Infantry soldier, and cofounding several companies and a Venture Capital firm in Silicon Valley. He is passionate about sharing the common thread through all of these experiences: the importance of loving yourself.
There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Self-esteem or self-confidence? Self-confidence or self-esteem? These terms sound so similar, so they must mean the same thing, right? Well, not exactly. Self-esteem and self-confidence are two entirely different psychological terms that can influence your mood and personality. In this guide, we’ll break down their meanings and causes while teaching you how to improve them.
Things You Should Know
- Self-confidence is about believing in yourself, while self-esteem is about valuing yourself.
- If you have low self-confidence, you have a hard time accepting your abilities and may struggle in social situations.
- If you have low self-esteem, you’re your worst inner critic and often doubt yourself, leading to poor body image and/or procrastination.
Steps
How to Build Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence
- Be kind to yourself. Self-acceptance is a huge part of learning to believe in yourself. It’s okay to make mistakes—you’re only human. Think of each mistake as a lesson you can learn from, not something you should dwell on. Then, be gracious to yourself, no matter the outcome.[10]
- Try saying affirmations to yourself in the mirror every morning. For example, a simple “I am strong” or “I can and will make mistakes, but that’s okay” can boost your confidence.
- Write a list of things you like about yourself. Then, when you feel low, pull out the list to remember just how incredible you are.[11]
- Reward yourself when you do something right, but don’t punish yourself when you don’t. It’s okay to critique yourself; just avoid tearing yourself down.
- Love yourself. It isn’t just taking a bubble bath or buying gifts for yourself. It is a fundamental inner, meaning that you feel love for the amazing human being you are, and that you live your life as a hero of your story.
- Self-love is comprehensive and means accepting and loving your body, personality and life completely, including the things that you don’t like that much.
- Reframe negative thoughts. Think about how you talk to yourself—is this how you would talk to a friend? If not, work on stopping those negative thoughts by replacing them with something positive.[12]
- Instead of saying, “I only passed the test because it was easy,” try, “I passed the test because I studied hard and am a smart person.”
- Rather than, “I don’t deserve happiness,” say, “Today was a tough day, and I made mistakes, but I am still worthy of love and happiness.”
- Be assertive. Start saying “no” more often and putting your own needs first. No, it’s not selfish—you’re protecting yourself and your energy! Learning to stand up for yourself in any given situation is an excellent way to build self-confidence.[13]
- Keep a journal to help navigate your thoughts and be more assertive. Write about a situation where you felt shy or lacking, then identify your emotions in that moment. Reread what you wrote—how could you have made your feelings known respectfully?[14]
- Make attainable goals. Simple changes to your lifestyle can make a big impact on your self-worth. Identify what you want in life. Then, break down your goals into specific steps on how you can achieve them. As you complete each step toward your big goal, your self-confidence will rise.
- Write down your goals and cross them out each time you achieve them. This way, you can visually see the progress you’ve made.
- Your goals don’t have to be grand like “Climb Mt. Everest.” Keep it simple at first with something like, “Exercise 3 times a week” or “Make my bed every day.”
- Surround yourself with positive people. Believe it or not, one of the best things you can do to boost your self-esteem is to be around those who make you happy. Hang out with friends you trust wholeheartedly and appreciate you as you are. If they can love you unconditionally, why can’t you?[15]
- Along with this, accept compliments from others. Push aside the thought that they’re only complimenting you to “be nice.” Someone thinks you’re amazing, and you totally are!
Expert Q&A
Tips
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about human behavior, check out our in-depth interview with Kamal Ravikant.
References
- ↑ https://nap.nationalacademies.org/read/2303/chapter/13
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/feelings-and-experiences/confidence-and-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/about-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/feelings-and-experiences/confidence-and-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.usf.edu/student-affairs/counseling-center/top-concerns/what-is-self-confidence.aspx
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer-Modules/Improving-Self-Esteem/Improving-Self-Esteem---01---What-is-Low-Self-Esteem.pdf
- ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer-Modules/Improving-Self-Esteem/Improving-Self-Esteem---01---What-is-Low-Self-Esteem.pdf
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/about-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.usf.edu/student-affairs/counseling-center/top-concerns/what-is-self-confidence.aspx
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Consumer-Modules/Assert-Yourself/Assert-Yourself---01---What-is-Assertiveness.pdf
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
- ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-esteem
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