How to Say Romantic Things

Showing your romantic side by talking or doing things can make a relationship stronger. Saying romantic things to your partner is one of the ways that you can let them know how you feel about them. Romance can sometimes touch men and women in different ways and can mean different things to both genders. While there is a multitude of ways to make your partner feel like they are the one for you, there’s nothing quite like telling them in a direct and straightforward way.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Getting the Right Mindset

1
Get out of your comfort zone. It is important to be comfortable in your relationships with the people you love, but not to the point of complacency. Romance and relationships thrive the most when routine and comfort are places you let go of in favor of getting out of your comfort zone.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Create opportunities for romance in ways that you haven’t been doing lately. Break out of your routine, go somewhere new, and make an effort to create memorable date nights.
- Check out new and different places to try out around your neck of the woods. You can visit new restaurants or do some research on events happening around the city.
- Play different games and/or have some adventure in how you approach being intimate with one another.
EXPERT TIP
Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.
Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Try writing out your thoughts if you're worried you won't know what to say. Relationship and dating coach Maya Diamond says: "If you want to turn up the romance in your relationship, write a letter to your partner sharing all the ways you appreciate and love them, and what you see in terms of the future with them. Then, when you're alone together, read the letter out loud."
2
Increase your confidence. Be open to giving love and receiving love by increasing your self esteem. Focus on ways you can build your self confidence.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Change the way you think about yourself. Even if you are not the most romantic person in the world, don’t look at yourself negatively. Instead, focus on the positives about yourself and what you do bring to the table.
- View the failures you have had as opportunities to learn. This is another way to accentuate the positives and eliminate the negatives. You will have more self-confidence moving forward.
3
Give yourself reminders to be romantic. In the beginning, it might be necessary to make little notes to make an effort to be more romantic. Over time, the effort will become second nature.
- Designate at least one night a week as a date night to create a romantic dynamic to your relationship.
- Use your partner’s response(s) to you as inspiration to do and say more romantic things.
- Write in your planner to say something romantic to your partner on a daily basis, whether it be directly, through email, or through text.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Saying Romantic Things to the Woman in Your Life

1
Compliment her on her beauty. Compliment her on her eyes, her smile, her lips, praise her new hairstyle, etc. You can also broaden the types of compliments you give so that they are about more than just her beauty.
- Be enamored with her smile and say something like, “Your smile can brighten up the cloudiest days.”^{[3]XResearch source}
- Compliment her spirit and energy by saying something like, “I love who I am/who I’ve become when I’m with you.”^{[4]XResearch source}
2
Admit your wrongs. A lot of men experience a hard time when it comes to admitting faults or offering apologies. If that little voice inside of you is saying that you’re wrong, admit it aloud to the woman in your life without fear of it being sign of weakness.^{[5]XResearch source}
- For example, saying the three simple words “I was wrong” is all the effort a woman needs sometimes.
- Those three words can be given during subtle moments too. Wrap your arms around her from behind, give a soft kiss to her neck, and say them to her.
3
Offer to hold her at night. Show her your affectionate side without the underlying sex agenda. Show her that she can enjoy the comfort of being held without feeling pressured to reciprocate it with getting physical immediately after.^{[6]XResearch source}
- Say to your woman, “I’d love if I could hold you tonight.”
- Pose it as a question and ask her permission, “Do you think I can just hold you tonight?”
4
Make her feel better when she’s visibly down. Women appreciate it when their partners can see their weariness and stressed and actively do something about it to counter it. Put aside your desires and become fully available to give her love in those moments.^{[7]XResearch source}
- Verbally recognize how much she is deserving of your concern and love her in moments where it counts the most.
- When you notice that she’s down, ask her, “What can I do to bring a smile on your face?” or “What can I do to make your day easier today?”
- Make an effort to give a date night a happy ending by asking, “If there’s anything that could make this night a perfect night in your eyes, what would it be?”
5
Soothe her during anxious moments. Don’t be proactive of finding a solution to her problem. Hold her and reassure her that things will work out for the best in the end.^{[8]XResearch source}
- Calm her anxieties by saying, “Don’t worry about it baby, everything will be okay.”
- Show her she’s not alone by being there for her.
6
Assure her that there is security with you. Stay present as she processes her feelings aloud. Listen deeply and have patience to her thoughts and feelings.^{[9]XResearch source}
- Show her your patience and make her feel secure by saying, “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
- Refrain from interrupting her as she works out problems through her monologue. She will feel cherished and deeply loved.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Saying Romantic Things to the Man in Your Life

1
Give him compliments. Compliment him about his ways and actions. Make him feel loved, seen, heard, and appreciated with compliments that appeal to his needs.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Acknowledge him by complimenting his efforts. Say to him with a smile, “You’re so good to me.” If he’s cooked a great meal for you or paid for your lunch say, “Thank you for cooking for me/treating me. I really appreciate it.”
- Tell him that you believe in him. You can also admire his drive by saying something like, “I love how driven you are.”
2
Show him that you don’t mind talking post-sex. Recognize that men tend to be more susceptible to listening and talking about relationship problems after being satisfied sexually. Save the long conversations for cuddling after love making.
- He will feel accepted and understood by you when you show your effort to do things the way he understands them best.
- Verbalize your willingness by saying, “I love knowing how you feel and love that you are able to share yourself with me more after we’re intimate. It makes sex with you even more wonderful.”
3
Let him off the hook about the way he relates to his guy friends. When it comes to male interests, don’t be jealous, invalidating, or derogatory. Show him that he can always be himself, whether he’s with you or with the guys.^{[11]XResearch source}
- Tell your guy that he does not have to be a more toned down version of himself with you. “I want to get to know you for who you are, not who you think I want you to be. Always be you.”
- Be confident in yourself and unafraid of testosterone-driven men.
4
Allow his actions to act as love. Look at what he does for you to see how much he loves you. Men will say “I love you”, but as action-oriented people, they show it more often than they say it.^{[12]XResearch source}
- Does he do little things around the house for you? Does he run errands to make your day or week a little easier? Instead of penalizing him for not saying it enough, appreciate his actions as his way of saying he loves you.
- Touch his cheek gently and look into his eyes as you say, “I know how much you love me because I see everything you do for me without me even having to ask. I love you too.”
5
Reaffirm to him that love is not possession. For most women, love means security. Men are sometimes afraid of that security, fearing that with it comes possession and with that, comes a loss of freedom and independence.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Show that you love him without control, entrapment, or the fear of losing him.
- Genuinely say to him, “I never want you to feel obligated to be with me. I never want to own you.”
- You can also say, “My love for you is not a prison. My love should make you free.”
6
Appreciate the time he spends with you. Tell your guy that the time you spend together is special to you. Use your words to tell him how much you enjoy spending time together.^{[14]XResearch source}
- If you notice that he makes an extra effort to include you in his life, despite working, going to school, and/or having a family, say something simple yet effective. “You make me so happy baby.”
- Wear a big smile on his face and say to him, “It’s amazing that you can make me smile even when I don’t feel like it.”
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Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Saying Romantic Things Intimately

1
Get straight to the point. Refrain from voicing every single thought you have racing through your mind in intimate moments. Get to the core of what you want to communicate instead of rambling.^{[15]XResearch source}
- Keep it short and sweet. Whisper something like, “Saying ‘yes’ to you was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
- Be genuine, look into your lover’s eyes, and say, “You are the best I’ve ever had – companion, lover, and friend.”
2
Assure your partner of how much you love being with them. Compliment your partner on the way they kiss. Focus on exactly what it is you love about them or being intimate in those moments.^{[16]XResearch source}
- Kiss your partner and in between kisses, say something like, “I love the love our love. It’s so intense, so passionate. I feel you all over me.”
- Make them feel important and sexy by saying to them, “I love how I feel when I’m with you. I feel so alive.”
3
Tell your partner the reason you love them. Look deeply into one another’s eyes, and give them one of the many reasons why they have your heart. Ask him or her, “Do you know why I love you?”^{[17]XResearch source}
- If you’re being sweet, say something like, “I love you because of who you are. I’m a better me for knowing you.”
- If you’re being a little dirty, say something like, “I love you because of how good you feel wrapped around me.”
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Tips

Saying “I love you” is one of the most romantic things you can say to your partner. So say it, and say it as often as you feel inspired to do so.
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Everyone is different and unique so while saying romantic things, use trial and error to help you be aware of what has a positive effect on them and what doesn’t.
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Appreciate their talents and hobbies. If they like playing sports or creating art, make your partner feel special by complimenting them on their abilities.
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Warnings

Never make jokes about him or her because it can make them feel like you're insensitive if they don’t know that you’re joking. Use humor sparingly until you’re confident they get your humor.
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Helpful4 Not Helpful2
Don’t overdo it in the romance department. The less you do it, the more effective it is when you finally do say something romantic to your partner. Too much is overkill and can make things appear forced.
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Don’t unload every line you’ve ever heard on a romantic comedy said by main characters. You’ll find that being genuine and saying things that connect organically with the needs and values of your partners are a much better route to go.
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