X
This article was co-authored by Collette Gee. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 280,648 times.
Internet dating can lead to finding your love, and many times leads to marriage. You can find a friend, or it might lead to disaster and even death. It is extremely important to heed the "Red Flags" that pop up in your mind when you sense or hear something that just does not seem right about the person on the other end. You should realize that they may not always be the person that they present over email. Be aware! Be wary! Be alert! Be safe!
Steps
Find a dating site. There are many out there, with more new ones starting up often. Find a site that is reputable. Stay away from the sleazy sites.[1] It would be good to find a site that specializes in your interests such as gay dating, black dating, and even specialized religious sites.
Remember that most of the sites will offer you a free trial period. If they ask for your credit card, be assured they will charge you after that trial period 'unless' you make sure you cancel prior to that date (see tip below).
Register with honest information about yourself. Do not lie about your weight and interests, or show a photo of you when you were much younger. After all, the idea of Internet dating is to actually meet in person eventually.[2]
Make sure that when you connect with someone to keep the conversation on email for awhile. Create a new email address for yourself to use only for dating sites. Do not give out your personal Internet address.[5]
Try to find out as much as possible about the other person, via email, so you can get a sense of what he is like. With practice, you can tell a lot about the other person from how he responds to questions, and what he says on email.
Do not give out your phone number; instead, ask for his. Call him, but make sure you use the phone blocker if you use your home phone. If you have a cell phone, use that! If he refuses to give you his phone number, be wary. He may be married or have ulterior motives, but he may be just as wary as you are. Instead of talking on the phone, suggest a meeting in a neutral place. (see below)
Be wary if he asks if you have a web cam. Most of the time, men with web cams want to show themselves naked. This is a great big "Red Flag".
When you talk to him on the telephone, and, after a bit of chit chat, he suddenly starts talking about sexual things, or asks you what you are wearing, hang up. This is a "Red Flag".[6]
Some people don't like to chit-chat over email for long periods of time or give out their phone numbers. Don't be put off if he asks to meet you. Ask him where he would like to meet. Be wary if he suggests meeting at his place or yours. This is another Red Flag; stop communicating with him immediately. Always meet in a public, neutral place, preferably during the day.[7]
When meeting him for the first time be sure to choose a public location, where there are plenty of people around, such as a restaurant or cafe near a busy street.[8] Only after you have gotten to know him well and feel safe around him should you invite him over dinner, etc. Also tell a friend or family member that you are meeting someone for the first time, where you're meeting, and what his name is. Also give them his phone number if you have it.[9]Advertisement
Expert Q&A
Search
- QuestionWhere should I meet someone that I met online?
Collette GeeCollette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention SpecialistFor your first few dates, choose public places that have a bit of foot traffic, like a cafe or restaurant. That way, you're not alone if something goes wrong. - QuestionWhat should I do about an online pedophile?
Community AnswerIf you are a child, tell your parents immediately and stop all contact with the person. Also, give your parents the pass codes so that they are able to see the chat log. If you are the parent, gather any evidence in the chat. Take screenshots and notify the authorities immediately. Chances are your kid isn't the only one this creep is talking to. - QuestionWhat should I do if I agreed to meet someone at his house and, after reading this, think I am making the wrong choice?Community AnswerIt probably is the wrong choice. You should let him know that, after thinking it over, you've decided you would feel more comfortable meeting in a public place first. He should understand. If he insists on you meeting him at his house, that's really shady and you should not go.
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
SubmitAdvertisement
Tips
- Many marriages have come out of Internet dating. There are also some very nice and honest people out there, who are searching for their mates. Just be cautious and careful.Thanks
- When you meet in person, make sure you meet in a public place, like a library, or a fast food place, away from where you live. If you want to be really safe, invite him to meet you at an event where friends of you are going, i.e. a showcase of a band at a lounge, a community event at a ball park / community center etc. That way, if he seems creepy or just not your type, you don't have to leave alone.Thanks
- When you first begin communicating, save a copy of his profile to your computer. If he turns out to be someone you need to have barred, and he logs in again under another identity, you'll have information from his profile to use in comparison if you suspect he's contacting you with a new id. If he continues to harass you under a new identity, contact the dating provider and explain the situation. They will take steps based on the person rather than the online id.Thanks
Advertisement
Warnings
- Remember, you would not let a stranger you met in the street into your house. So should you not allow internet strangers, either.Thanks
- Many men have many identities at the same dating site. They use many different names, ages, and locations.Thanks
- Some men say they're single/divorced when they are still very much married. Try to find as much information as you can about them using a search engine, and end communication with them if you don't like what you find.Thanks
- Some men pose as women so be careful about what you say to women also.Thanks
- If he insists on meeting you, and you are a legal minor, tell your parents. Do not hide the emails, or the people from your parents. Be open with them. Show them anything that is received that is sexual in nature.Thanks
- The bottom line is be careful! Use your judgment and trust your instincts.Thanks
Advertisement
References
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/best-free-dating-sites.html
- ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/create-irresistible-online-dating-profile_b_6758542
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.getsafeonline.org/social-networking/online-dating/
- ↑ https://www.aarp.org/home-family/dating/info-2019/online-dating-safety.html
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a30570/biggest-online-dating-red-flags/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201802/five-tips-safe-online-dating
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.safety.com/10-online-dating-safety-tips/
About this article
Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
This article was co-authored by Collette Gee. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN. This article has been viewed 280,648 times.
Co-authors: 46
Updated: September 15, 2021
Views: 280,648
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 280,648 times.
Reader Success Stories
"It helped me a lot to be more wary and not trust anyone easily! Most men want to flirt, and even if they are not giving fake information, their intentions are not sincere. "..." more
Did this article help you?
⚠️ Disclaimer:
Content from Wiki How English language website. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License; additional terms may apply.
Wiki How does not encourage the violation of any laws, and cannot be responsible for any violations of such laws, should you link to this domain, or use, reproduce, or republish the information contained herein.
- - A few of these subjects are frequently censored by educational, governmental, corporate, parental and other filtering schemes.
- - Some articles may contain names, images, artworks or descriptions of events that some cultures restrict access to
- - Please note: Wiki How does not give you opinion about the law, or advice about medical. If you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial or risk management), please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgeable in that area.
- - Readers should not judge the importance of topics based on their coverage on Wiki How, nor think a topic is important just because it is the subject of a Wiki article.
Advertisement
