How to Respond to a Zombie Text

So you hit it off with someone great and then they ghosted you. A few weeks or months went by, and your phone just dinged with a text from them out of the blue. Zombie alert! What is zombieing and how are you supposed to deal with this strange dating phenomenon? We’ve got you covered. Read on for a comprehensive guide on how to respond to a zombie text.

1

Figure out what you want before you respond.

What you say will depend on how you feel about the person who ghosted you. Take some time to think through the situation before you reply. That’ll help you get your emotions under control so you can send a text when you’re cool, calm, and collected. Plus, replying right away might make them think you were just waiting by your phone to hear from them again.
- If you get butterflies when you see their name pop up on your screen, you’re probably hoping to rekindle things.
- It’s possible they’ve had a change of heart or feel bad about the way things ended, but it’s also possible they’re just lonely or looking for a booty call.^{[1]XResearch source}
- If the zombie has shown other red flags, like only texting you late at night or reaching out when they want something from you, they probably aren't worth your time.
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2

Ignore them if you’re not interested.

Leave them on read and go about your day. Who’s got time for their mind games, anyway? Not you! You’re too busy living your best life to spend time and energy on someone who doesn’t show you respect. Bye, zombie.

3

Call them out on their behavior for a direct approach.

Don’t let their rudeness slide! Let them know that you didn’t forget what happened and you’re not going to sweep their bad behavior under the rug. Putting them in the hot seat will help you gauge their character. If they admit they were wrong and apologize, it might be worth another shot. If not, it's probably better to move on.
- “Ghosting me was pretty rude.”
- “I’m not interested in someone who disappears on me.”
- “What’s your explanation for ghosting me?”
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4

Ask why they’re reaching out to get to the bottom of things.

Figure out their intentions before showing your hand. If you had strong feelings for this person and they ghosted you, it’s normal to be pretty hurt. If you give them another chance when they resurface, you might be setting yourself up to get hurt all over again.^{[2]XResearch source} Some people ghost and then reappear because they're bored or lonely, while others might realize they made a mistake by letting you go. Before you dive in, find out what they’re really looking for from you.
- “What do you want?”
- “What made you think of me today?”
- “Why are you texting me?”

5

Be sarcastic to see how they reply.

Get your point across with a little sass. If you aren’t comfortable enough to directly call them out, use sarcasm to do it in a roundabout way. Allude to how they ghosted you to find out if they’re willing to acknowledge what happened and try to make amends.
- “Wow, haven’t heard from you in a while.”
- “So your phone does still work.”
- “Omg, it’s a zombie! 🧟”
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6

Pretend you don’t know their number to gain the upper hand.

This little trick shows them that you’ve moved on (even if you haven’t). Sure, you know right away the text was from Alex because their name popped up on your screen. But they don’t have to know that! Act like you deleted their digits after they disappeared to see how they’ll respond to a bruised ego.
- “Who is this?”
- “Sorry, I don’t have this number saved.”
- “Wait, is this Jaime?”

7

Reply casually if you’re interested.

Even if you’re thrilled to hear from them again, play it cool. Wait a few minutes (or hours) to reply, and simply respond to their message or ask how things are going. Let the conversation develop organically and see if you still feel a spark.
- “Hey, what’s up?”
- “I’ve been good! How about you?”
- “Nice to hear from you!”
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8

Give them another shot if they have a good excuse.

Everyone deserves a second chance, right? Maybe the timing was bad or they just got busy with other things in their life. If they seem sincere and apologetic about ghosting you, feel free to try to rekindle things. Before you do, though, make sure to address what happened the first time around. It's important to be open and honest about what you want to get out of the relationship.
- “How do I know you’re not going to ghost me again?”
- “What will be different this time?”
- “Are you really interested in dating me?”

9

Move on if they ghost you again.

It’s okay to give them the benefit of the doubt and see how things go, but if their ghosting becomes a pattern, you’re better off without them. Tolerating ghosting and zombieing shows them that you’ll let them come in and out of your life as they please—and you shouldn’t. You deserve better!
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10

Look for someone who respects your time and energy.

Watch out for red flags when you meet someone new. It can be really exciting to hit it off with someone and you might be tempted to ignore signs that show their true character—but don’t! If you’re chatting with someone and they have a pattern of leaving you on read, canceling plans, or only hitting you up when they’ve got nothing better going on, pay attention. These are all signs that they aren't putting in the effort to make you a priority.^{[3]XResearch source}
- Don’t get discouraged! You may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince or princess, but there is someone out there that will see you for the amazing person you are and treat you well.
- If you're having trouble moving on, think about the traits that you originally liked about this person. Then, contrast these nice qualities with the bad ones—this might help you get closure.
- Plus, recognizing what you originally liked about this person can help you figure out what you want from a future partner.