How to Respond to Politically Correct People

Often, a stereotypically "Politically Correct" person can appear as self-righteous and judgmental. But while you don’t have to interact with anyone you find to be overly sanctimonious or difficult, it’s possible to have a productive conversation with someone who you disagree with. Learn how to approach people who consider themselves politically correct in such a way that you can increase the likelihood of winning them over to your side, or at least learning something constructive from them.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Approaching the Conversation Calmly

1
Be polite. Even if you don’t agree with anything the other person says, being polite and considerate will go a long way towards keeping the discussion civil.
- Being polite also means that the other person may also be more receptive to your point of view.
2
Determine what “political correctness” means to the person you’re talking to. By understanding where the other person is coming from, you will be able to have a more productive conversation.
- While people often generalize about the meaning of “PC,” the best definition is that it refers to tailoring your statements to avoid offending any particular racial, ethnic, or gender group.
- This definition doesn’t mean that there are things you can never say. It means that people who formerly lacked a means to object to statements they thought were offensive are now using their own freedom of speech to fight back.^{[1]XResearch source}
3
Consider what truth there may be in their statements. Empathy, or putting yourself in a different person’s perspective, is a good way to approach any discussion. Understanding the concept of racial, class, and gender privilege is especially important when dealing with “PC” people.
- If you are a male, you may not be able to understand the kinds of problems that females face, simply because you haven’t had those experiences yourself.
- If you are white, you may not be able to understand the challenges that people of color face. This is especially true if you grew up in a neighborhood that was all white or mostly white.
- If you are affluent, you may not be able to understand what it’s like to be poor, especially if you’ve never been poor yourself.
Advertisement

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Arguing Constructively

When you’re speaking with one person, you’re only speaking with one person. Just because that person may become difficult or sanctimonious doesn’t mean you should assume that everyone who shares that person’s views will act the same way.
2
Explain your point of view. Don’t let the other person put words in your mouth or assume that they know what you’re going to say.
- For instance, if the other person says something like “Because you’re white, I already know what you’re going to say” an appropriate response might be “While I can’t deny that my race has played a big role in shaping my identity, I’m my own person with my own beliefs.”
3
Stand up for yourself if necessary. While you should always be polite, you should not hesitate to defend yourself if you think the person with whom you’re arguing is being unfair.
- Be sure to defend yourself against ad hominem attacks. These are attacks on your character rather than the substance of your argument, and they don’t add anything constructive to any discussion.
- An example of an ad hominem attack would be if you criticize someone for doing something and they respond “Well, you do it too!” An appropriate response might be “Just because I’ve done something similar in the past doesn’t make it right! We should all strive to be better.”
- Another example would be if the person you’re speaking to says “Of course you’ll never believe what I’m trying to tell you, because you grew up rich!” This statement presupposes that your background has altered your character so indelibly that you’ll never change your mind.
- If the person you’re talking to tries to intimidate you, inform them in a polite but firm manner that that behavior is unacceptable.
4
Mirror the language of social change activists. If you’re afraid that you’re going to say the wrong thing, listen to the person you’re talking to carefully and use their language, particularly if there are terms upon which they rely especially heavily.
- A good example is to mention your own race, class, or gender privilege.
- Discussing the importance of trigger warnings can also help. In this context triggers refer to events or circumstances that remind people of traumatic experiences from their past. Trigger warnings are warnings that a book, speech, movie, TV show, or some other form of media contains a depiction of or mentions a potentially traumatic topic.
5
Understand when and if you’ve lost the argument. Be gracious and move on if that’s the case.
- If you find yourself with no other recourse than ad hominem attacks, you have very likely lost the argument.
- If your opponent's argument starts making sense to you, be honest and concede the point. Don't become emotional and refuse to lose gracefully because you don't want to look weak.
Advertisement

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Identifying Prejudice in Everyday Life

1
Take steps to identify your own biases. Just as your background and identity may leave you unable to understand the challenges that people who are different from you face, they also mean that you probably have some prejudice based on race, class, or gender, even if you do not want to. Psychologists refer to these biases as “implicit” meaning that they are unconscious and not accessible through introspection.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Implicit biases are pervasive - nearly everybody has them.
- Almost all of your experiences contribute in some way to forming implicit biases from an early point in your life. As a result, they are often very strong.
- You can begin to understand what implicit biases you hold by taking the Implicit Association Test.^{[3]XResearch source}
- The good news is that even though implicit biases run deeply, they are usually malleable. Once you recognize that they exist, you can begin to understand the effect that they have on your worldview and take steps to counteract them.
2
Be careful about microaggressions. Implicit bias often reveals itself in what social psychologists call microaggressions, or everyday insults and slights that privileged people use against people with less privilege, often without realizing it.^{[4]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}
- One of the most common microaggressions is asking an Asian-American “where are you from?” While it sounds innocuous, this question runs the risk of implying that the Asian-American is an immigrant, which they may find insulting.
People who have suffered trauma resulting from sexual, racial, or homophobic abuse may be especially sensitive to comments about those topics, even if made in jest.
Advertisement