How to Relieve Panic During Labor

Labor is the ultimate paradox, at once a terrifying and an exhilarating experience. For some mothers-to-be, it can be overwhelming and unnerving. Embarrassment, discomfort, and the tidal wave of hormones which often accompany pregnancy can come to a head when crunch time arrives. Even the coolest and most collected person may find themselves experiencing anxiety and panic. But by engaging her senses and offering moral support, you'll ensure she can conquer her fears.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Engaging the Senses

1
Encourage visualization.^{[1]XTrustworthy SourceCleveland ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitalsGo to source} If a pregnant person envisions your touch as absorbing or releasing their labor pains, the process will continue more smoothly. Help them imagine this by gently squeezing their arm or leg while reciting: “When I squeeze, I want you to envision all your anxiety and negative energy leaving your body. Ready?”

When they offer their assent, count backwards from three, then apply a three to four second squeeze. Relax your hand but do not let go of the limb. Ask them if they feel better. Try it again at five to 10 minute intervals, or when particularly painful contractions come, until they are less panicky.
- You might also encourage them to envision their favorite place. Free visualization might take them to the snowy Alps, or a shimmering Malibu beach. Ask them to close their eyes and tell you about their favorite place in the world. Push them to offer lots of details. If their place of choice is the beach, ask them, “What color is the water? What color is the sand? What does it smell like? How tall are the palm trees?” and so on.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Programmed visualizations, unlike free visualizations, rely on a particular vision which you must walk the pregnant person through. For instance, maybe you have an end-state visualization of the actual baby in their arms, or of the contraction process at work. Ask them to imagine how wonderful they will feel at home with their new, beautiful baby.
2
Make contact. Hold their hand or touch their face to coax her through the process. Focus their attention. If they cannot make eye contact with you, place your hands on their cheeks and focus their attention to your eyes. ^{[3]XResearch source}
- If you cannot be in front of them due to the hospital arrangement or other birthing conditions, gently lean on their shoulders.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Give them a massage. A gentle massage on the shoulders, feet, or hands can help people in labor relax.
  - Cup your hand around the foot or hand and gently work your thumbs into the surface in a circular motion. Slowly move your thumbs across the surface of the hand or foot so that the entire surface is massaged.^{[5]XResearch source}
  - Massage their shoulders from behind. Grasp the upper arm between your fingers and the heel of your hand. Squeeze and hold for a few seconds, then release. Repeat, moving inward towards the neck.
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3
Utilize aromatherapy.^{[6]XTrustworthy SourceCleveland ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitalsGo to source} Aromatherapy is the use of scents from essential oils to reduce feelings of anxiety and pain. It might also involve lotions which are massaged into the mother-to-be’s skin.
- You can dip or apply the essential oil to a slip of paper (called a taper) and attach it to the hospital gown or clothing. Place it near their wrist or neckline, somewhere close enough that the scent will waft up to their nostrils.
- Diffusers are devices which distribute the scent of essential oils. They vary in technical specifications. A good one will have the option to release an intermittent or continuous dispersal, automatic shutoff when water reaches a low level, and a long (eight or more hours) operational time for a single quantity of water and oil.
- Lavender, sage, rose, or jasmine are popular scents, and inspire a sense of calm. Find a scent the pregnant person enjoys.
- Check with the midwife or physician before utilizing essential oils, as they may interact with conventional medications.
4
Play music. Music can be therapeutic and distract the pregnant person from their pain and fear. The music can be anything from ‘80s pop to classical. As long as it soothes the listener and helps them relax, the music is doing its job.^{[7]XResearch source}
- This method is especially useful if the person has already been listening to a particular piece of music or style of music during her pregnancy in anticipation of the actual childbearing process. Now that they are in labor, encourage them to think back to the musical practice sessions and the positive associations they coupled them with. Have them envision how calmly and confidently they imagined giving birth during those practice sessions.
- Encourage the person in labor to move or sway slightly with the beat. This provides a more focused, deliberate kind of movement than simply thrashing about aimlessly in fear.
- While doctors and nurses often respond positively to music, it might be distracting to them. If possible, locate some headphones so the person can listen to her calming music without disrupting the hospital staff from doing their jobs.
5
Chant with them. If a person can chant or recite a mantra to keep them focused, they will relax and allow anxiety and fear to pass. Making a low-toned sound requires relaxation of the vocal cords, which can in turn relax the rest of the body. Chants and mantras will help them pass through the pain and overcome their panic.
- Mantras and chants don’t need to be complicated. A simple one might just be the word “relax” broken into its two syllables.^{[8]XResearch source} Encourage the panicky person to breathe in on “re” and out on “lax.”
- Ask them to recite a simple phrase or religious verse. “I am in control of my thoughts,” “This is hard but I am strong,” or “I do not need to be afraid” are good examples of phrases you can chant repeatedly with them to disrupt their fear and panic.
Labor is hard work. While some people may be in no mood for eating or drinking, others will want light refreshment or a small snack, especially during the early stages of labor.

Snacks appropriate for a pregnant person include cereals, pasta, crackers, soup, or cookies.^{[9]XResearch source} These snacks are good sources of carbohydrates, which will provide needed energy over a long period.

They’ll probably want something to wash the snack down with. Water is the best bet. An alternative choice is an isotonic drink. Isotonic drinks are known colloquially as sports drinks, and contain a low amount of sugar and salt. These drinks are meant for anyone engaging in vigorous activity over a long period — perfect, in other words, for labor. Find a flavor they like and provide it for them.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Bringing Them Into the Moment

You cannot expect them to stay calm if you are not. Even if you have never been present at a pregnancy, try to relax and enjoy the experience. Maintain a positive attitude. Do not yell or express yourself in an emotionally charged manner.

Remember, they're giving birth, not you. If you are the other parent, try to remember what you learned during the pregnancy and birthing courses you attended with your partner. Call for help if you think they need it. Stay with them and do not leave to get help unless absolutely necessary.^{[10]XResearch source}
2
Make yourself visible.^{[11]XResearch source} Stand next to them or sit on the bed. Assume a position from which you can make eye contact with them. Knowing you’re nearby in the event that something goes awry will reassure them that they can make it through the process.
- If they will not make eye contact and is continuing to panic, bring your face close to theirs to ensure they see you.
3
Walk with them. Walking can be a good way to relax in the earlier stages of labor. Whether it’s just to go to the bathroom or to take a stroll around the house or hospital, help the panicky person as they need it.

If dilation is between 4–7 centimeters (1.6–2.8 in), you will need to support them.^{[12]XTrustworthy SourceCleveland ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitalsGo to source} Stand next to them and face the same direction as the panicky person. Have them drape their right arm around your neck. Place your left arm around their body gently, cupping your hand beneath their left armpit.

Locked together, begin walking slowly to the destination of their choice. The change of scenery will do them good.
- Walking can ease the labor process. Moving the pelvis helps the baby find the easiest exit position out of the womb.
- Be especially attentive and stay nearby if they insist on walking during later, more intense stages of labor. If a painful contraction suddenly strikes, they may collapse from the pain and you will need to support them.
Games can keep her mind off the labor process. Whether it’s a card game like hearts, go fish, or war; or a board game like Monopoly, Scrabble, or chess, games can be a great source of fun and a good way to relax.

Since they're in labor, they’ll probably be in bed most of the day anyways, and there are few better ways to spend time in bed than by playing games.

Videogames are a possibility too. In this case, they won’t even necessarily need a partner to play against — just a console, a TV, and a controller, or a portable gaming device.
5
Talk them through it. Keep your tone soft and soothing. Your calm demeanor will mollify their panic. Don't be offended if they don't appreciate it at the moment. Keep your tone even and do not yell or express undue excitement. Offer words of advice and encouragement such as “You’re doing great,” and “You can do this.”
- If contractions have begun it will be more difficult to keep them in the moment, but you can still help. As the contractions arrive, tell them three to five times in succession to push until the contraction has stopped. Following the end of each contraction, remind them again they are doing a great job.
- Focus on their feelings and ask them how you can help. Encourage them to express themselves in whatever way best helps them overcome their feelings of panic, whether it’s reaching out to you for reassurance, remaining quiet, or screaming in short bursts. (In the case of screaming, though, it’s best to suggest that they lower her scream to a groan or moan; lower tones are calming, while higher ones incite fear and panic.)^{[13]XResearch source}
- Be positive! Tell them they're doing a great job, tell them how proud you are of them. Encourage them throughout the process. Let them know they will be a great parent.
- Ask them what they want. If they want to deviate from the birthing plan they had in place before they went into labor, they should be allowed to do so. Just because they're in labor doesn’t mean they're incapable of making decisions.
6
Encourage rhythmic breathing.^{[14]XResearch source} During panicked breathing, the body becomes tense and breaths are short and shallow. The shoulders will arch up and the head and neck will be hunched forward. This consumes a lot of energy and oxygen the mother-to-be will need to make it through the labor process. It also reduces the available oxygen to the baby.

To prevent this, help the person breathe slowly and deeply, in and out. Make sure each breath and exhalation is balanced in length and depth. A natural rate is about one breath in every two seconds, and a corresponding exhalation lasting another two seconds. Demonstrate the technique and ask them to mirror it with you.
- Counting breaths is a good technique too.^{[15]XResearch source} Ask her to breathe in deeply with you and count out loud, “One, two, three, four.” As you reach four, instruct her to “Breathe out.” Exhale together, counting out loud again to four. Repeat until their breathing has slowed and they have relaxed.
- Have them breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth. Show them how, and suggest that they release labor pains with a sound (“ahhh” or “oooh”) as they exhale. Provide a glass of water for them to sip from between breaths.
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If you haven't yet picked a name, going through a baby name book may offer them some distraction from their anxiety.
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One key thing to helping a laboring person is to really focus on them and what they need at the moment. Many people just keeping trying the same things over and over, even though they have said they don’t like it. This is when fights break out.
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Make sure that they know you are on their side. Work out ahead of time if they want you to make decisions for them during labor. Be prepared, however, for this to change depending on the conditions of the experience.
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