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Am I in Love with My Best Friend?

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Are you starting to wonder whether your feelings for your best friend are strictly platonic? Maybe you think about them all the time or get butterflies in your stomach when they’re around; either way, it feels like there’s something more to your relationship with them. Could those be signs that you’re really in love with your BFF?

If you’re ready to figure out how you feel about your bestie (and how to deal with those feelings), take our quiz below. Answer a few questions about your relationship with your BFF, and we’ll help you decide whether it’s love, lust, or perhaps a crush.

How.com.vn English: A woman gazes admiringly at her friend, smiling as her friend looks in the other direction.

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Questions Overview

1. Do you try to look nice when you know you’ll be seeing your bestie?
  1. Yes, definitely. I feel a strong need to present my best self to them, so I do my hair, makeup, everything.
  2. Sometimes. I don't go all out, but I wouldn't see my BFF wearing sweats or something.
  3. Maybe? I hadn't thought about it before, so I'm not actually sure.
  4. Of course not! The whole point of a best friend is that they accept you no matter how you look.
2. Do you ever catch yourself staring at your best friend?
  1. 100%. Sometimes I can't help it: I just feel so strongly about them and they're really beautiful. It's hard to look away.
  2. Sometimes. My BFF is nice to look at, after all! But it's not like I can't stop staring or something.
  3. Every once in a while. I might realize I was absent-mindedly looking at my best friend, but that doesn't happen often.
  4. No! Wouldn't that be creepy or something...?
3. Is making your best friend happy a big priority?
  1. Undoubtedly. When my best friend is happy, it makes me feel better than anything else does. I'd do anything for them!
  2. I guess so! I do little things to make my bestie's day because I love seeing their cute smile!
  3. We're friends, so of course I hope my BFF is happy! It's not a top priority though.
  4. Not really. At the end of the day, we're both responsible for our own happiness.
4. How often do you check your messages or social media when they aren’t around?
  1. Constantly. And whenever I get a message from them, I get major butterflies. I feel like I've been zapped by lighting or something...
  2. Slightly more than average. It's just nice to know what they're up to, because a lot of the time, I'm thinking of them...
  3. I guess I'm not sure...if I check more often when we're apart, I've never noticed before.
  4. I don't check my phone more when I'm not with my BFF. We'll see each other when we see each other!
5. Do you ever think about your future with your BFF?
  1. All the time. I don't know what I'd do if I lost them, and I just want us to keep getting closer and closer...
  2. Sometimes. I've thought a little about how it'd feel to hold their hand or cuddle with them in the future.
  3. Every once in a while I guess? My BFF is a big part of my life, so I think that makes sense.
  4. Nope! I know she'll be my best friend forever. What else is there to think about?
6. Do your other friends ask about you and your BFF or actively “ship” you together?
  1. Yes. I feel like everyone in my life expects us to get together eventually. And if I'm being honest, I love it...
  2. Friends have made passing comments about our chemistry, but they don't say that very often.
  3. I don't think so. If they have subtly talked about it, it's gone over my head.
  4. Absolutely not. We're friends, so why would they say that?
7. Your best friend starts dating someone else. How does that make you feel?
  1. Totally heartbroken. To see them with someone else...it's like a punch in the gut.
  2. A little jealous. If I'm being honest, I'd probably feel the little green monster come out.
  3. I guess I'm not sure. I think I'd have to experience it to know how it would feel.
  4. Excited! And later, I'm going to ask them about all of the juicy details...
8. Do you ever wonder what it’d feel like to kiss your best friend?
  1. I think about this all the time. When I'm with them, when we're apart...I can't help but fantasize.
  2. It's actually just started crossing my mind for the first time recently. That's why I came to take this quiz!
  3. Not that I can remember.
  4. No way! It's never crossed my mind, and it never will.
9. Are you currently open to dating other people (besides your BFF)?
  1. Ugh, no. I just feel like my focus is totally on my best friend. No one else is interesting to me...
  2. Maybe. I'm definitely not as focused on dating as I have been in the past for some reason, but if someone great came along, I'd consider them.
  3. I think so, yes.
  4. Definitely! I actually have a crush on someone else already...
10. How does it make you feel when your BFF touches or hugs you?
  1. I feel my heart skip a beat. When they casually touch me, it's like, electric.
  2. It used to feel totally normal. Lately though, I've been noticing that things feel a little different...
  3. I've never thought about it before, I guess.
  4. Normal. It feels like it would for any of my friends to touch me.
11. Do you want to spend more time with your best friend?
  1. I want to be around them all the time. They're my favorite person, and I would spend every minute with them if I could.
  2. Yeah, I think so. Lately, I've been craving their presence way more...
  3. I guess so. I have lots of fun with them, so why wouldn’t I want to be with them more?
  4. I think we spend plenty of time together already—we’re besties, after all!
12. Do you ever compare your BFF to the other people you’ve dated?
  1. Yes. It feels like I'll never meet someone as amazing as my best friend.
  2. Sometimes, but not often.
  3. I'm not sure. If I have, I haven't noticed before.
  4. No? Why would I do that?

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Friendship or Love? How to Know and What to Do About It

Signs You're More Than Just Friends

You get very jealous when your bestie starts dating. It’s totally normal to feel a little jealous no matter what—it’s never fun to feel like you’re losing your friend to someone else. However, when you have feelings for your BFF, you’ll likely feel more than a little jealous. It might even hurt just to see them together or think about them being a couple while the two of you aren’t.

You accidentally flirt with them all the time. Best friends often flirt playfully with one another for fun—but if you have feelings for your bestie, you’ll likely catch yourself flirting even when you didn’t mean to! For example, you might find yourself making prolonged eye contact with them, teasing them, giving them sweet compliments, and being extra touchy-feely whenever you get the chance.

You fantasize about them in private. When you’re in love with your best friend (or at least infatuated with them), you may catch yourself dreaming about what physical intimacy with them might be like—all the time.

Physical affection from them feels different. Friends give each other hugs or friendly touches all the time—but if you’re in love with your best friend, you may find yourself reacting much differently to their touches than any other friend’s. When your bestie touches you, it may feel like your entire body has a reaction to it: your stomach flutters, your heart skips a beat, your face heats up, and so on.

You aren’t interested in dating unless you can date them. One surefire sign that you have feeling for your bestie is a total lack of interest in seeing anybody else. If you’re open to dating other people, it’s less likely you’re in love—but if the thought of being with anyone else is completely unappealing, you likely feel strongly about your BFF.

You pay more attention to them than anyone else. As best friends, you’re probably already super close. But when you fall in love with your best friend, it can feel like they’re on your mind every waking moment! You think about them constantly, want to spend all your time with them, and when you’re together, you’re glued to their side. You might also suddenly start worrying about appearances (looking good and impressing them) when previously it wasn't a concern.

What Should I Do If I’m in Love with My Best Friend?

Tell them honestly how you feel. At the end of the day, it’s always better to be honest than keep secrets indefinitely. Confessing your love for someone is daunting, there’s no doubt about it, and there’s no guarantee on how they’ll react—but more often than not, the possibility of getting to have a real relationship with them is worth the risk.

Even if you don’t think they’ll feel the same, it’s worth expressing your feelings to them. You don’t have to pour your heart out entirely; just tell them that you’ve been having romantic thoughts that include them. Secrets can really affect friendships, even if your BFF doesn’t know what you’re hiding from them, which is why the healthiest thing to do is gently let them know how you feel.

Whatever you do, try to reveal your feelings gradually rather than bombarding your bestie. Take it one step at a time—bring up the topic and explain how you feel, then tell your BFF more when they come to you, and they’re ready to hear it.

Find creative ways to express your feelings. You could write them a sweet note, for example, or take a playful love tester quiz with them before telling them how you feel. In fact, writing about your feelings might help you express them better—and give you the courage you need to hand your BFF the note. At the end of the day, though, a simple confession (somewhere private, so there’s no social pressure on either of you) is just as meaningful!

Let them know how much you value the friendship. No matter how you confess your feelings to your best friend, it’s also important to reiterate how important the friendship is to you. After all, whether or not you end up dating your bestie, you still want to remain best friends forever! Tell them that no matter what happens, you value what the two of you already have more than anything.

Be prepared for their reaction no matter what. If you decide to tell your BFF how you feel, it’s important to approach them without any expectations. They might feel the same way, or they might not—and though it’s never easy to find out your love is unrequited, remind yourself that it’ll be okay no matter what. Either things will work out between you, which is amazing, or you’ll stay best friends…and, after giving yourself some time to heal and get over them, you’ll be able to find a romantic relationship with someone else.

Reader Success Stories

  • How.com.vn English: Makala L.

    Makala L.

    Mar 8

    "I'm still deciding whether or not I do like her (my best friend), but I'll figure it out sooner or later...." more
    Rated this article:
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