How to Reject a Sensitive Guy

When someone asks you out or shows interest in you and you do not feel the same, it can be difficult to reject them without hurting their feelings. It can be even more difficult when you are trying to reject someone who may be sensitive to getting his feelings hurt. In the current digital age, it may be easier to reject someone via email or text rather than in person. However, there are certain steps you can take to minimize the hurt of your rejection, especially if the person is sensitive.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Preparing for the Conversation

1
Decide if you are going to talk to him in person or via email or text. This may depend on how well you know the guy and how sensitive you think he might be. If you know him well as a good friend, you may want to do him the courtesy of telling him "no" in person. If you do not know the guy well or are not willing to engage with him face to face, you may opt to sending him a rejection message via email or text.
- Keep in mind if the guy is sensitive, he may react more upset to a "no" from you via email or text, rather than a "no" in person. Meeting up with him in person can show him that you care about his feelings and may be a good way to shift from romantic interest to friendly interest if you would like to remain friends with the guy.
If you have mutual friends with the guy or friends who know the guy, you may want to reach out to them for advice. They may be able to give you a sense of the guy's personality, including how sensitive he is, and provide some suggestions on how to say "no" to him. Often, most guys will understand and respect a girl when she says "no" to them, but it may help to get someone else's perspective on the situation before you talk to him.
3
Choose an appropriate time and setting. If you know the guy as a friend and he asks you out, you may have time to put off answering him and choose a setting where you can both be comfortable. Suggest that you both meet in a neutral place where you can talk one on one, like a nearby cafe or a bar. This will give you some space to collect your thoughts and consider how you are going to say “no” to him, especially if you know he is a sensitive person.
- If you decide to rejection him via email or text, you may take some time to think about you response and not answer him right away. You can create a draft of the email or text and think about it before you send it.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Saying “No” to the Guy

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Be gentle but clear.^{[1]XExpert SourceLisa Shield
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 13 December 2018.} Start the conversation by saying you are flattered that he is romantically interested in you. You can say something like, “I think you’re a really nice guy, and I’m flattered you would be interested in going on a date.” You can then transition by being clear that you do not want to see him. “I have to be honest and say I’m not interested in you in that way.” By framing the rejection this way, you are being clear but also gentle and considerate of his feelings.^{[2]XResearch source}^{[3]XResearch source}
- This phrasing also does not make any comment on how attractive you find him, as you are not being too specific or too vague. It also rejects him a way that leaves room for you to remain friends or acquaintances.
2
Avoid lying or making excuses. Often, it is better to be upfront and honest about your disinterest, even in a gentle way, as it can be worse to string him along and agree to a date that you do not want to go on. Using an excuse that is not true, like “I already have a boyfriend” or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”, can backfire. You may end up in a situation later on where it becomes apparent you do not have a boyfriend or you are in fact interested in a relationship, just not with him.^{[4]XResearch source}
- As well, lying to him can often lead to hurt feelings down the road if he discovers you lied. It may also put you in a tricky situation if you have to try to maintain the lie with another lie. The simplest way to avoid any further hurt feelings is to be upfront and honest with him.
3
Offer to remain friends. It is important that you try to walk away from the conversation feeling like you could still be friends or acquaintances with the guy, especially if you knew each other previously. If you are close friends and you are honest about your feelings, there is a good chance you can both move past the conversation and remain friends. If you did not know the guy well, you may not become friends but you may hopefully remain acquaintances.
- Keep in mind that though the guy may be sensitive, he will eventually get over the rejection and move on. Your honesty will help him to move on and find someone who will say “yes” to him.
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How can I reject a sensitive guy without hurting him?
Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.
Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Answer
The best thing you can do is be honest and direct with him so you don't hurt his feelings more later on.
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