How to Read People Through the Power of Observation

It's possible to read a person if you pay close attention to their body language, what they say, how they say it, and your intuition and feelings. You can never know a person's thoughts for sure, but you can gain clues about their thoughts and personality by using a few key strategies. Imagine: a world where you can basically read a new friend or colleague's mind, just through the power of observation! We're teaching you everything you need to know below.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Reading Body Language

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1
Look at the person's posture. Posture can provide many clues about what a person is really thinking. How they sit and how they lean tells a story. Between 70 and 90 percent of communication can be non-verbal. ^{[1]XResearch source} ^{[2]XResearch source}
- If a person leans away from you, they are probably feeling stress.
- If they are leaning back as if they are relaxed, it can be an indicator that they feel powerful and in control. ^{[3]XResearch source}
- Poor posture can mean that a person lacks self esteem or harbors negative feelings.
2
Keep an eye out for positive body language, like open arms. Experts divide body language into positive and negative movement categories. You can identify whether a person feels positively toward you by spotting positive body language moves. ^{[4]XResearch source}
- Not crossing arms or legs indicates positive feelings.
- Looking away, as if shy, is a sign of positive emotion toward you.
- Leaning toward you is a positive body language movement.
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3
Watch for negative body language, like crossed arms. Certain cues should indicate to you that the person may harbor negative feelings toward you or themselves.
- Crossing arms or legs is a movement that shows wariness.
- Pointing feet away or toward an exit means a person may have negative feelings.
- Looking to the side or leaning away is a sign of negative body language.
- When a person touches their nose, eyes or back of neck, it can indicate negative feelings.
4
Look for a fake smile. There are signs that indicate a person's smile is not genuine. In a genuine smile, you will see the wrinkles around a person's eyes. In a fake smile, you often won't. ^{[5]XResearch source}
- Smiling authentically uses more facial muscles. ^{[6]XResearch source}
- The laugh lines or wrinkles around the eye are caused by the orbicularis oculi, and are muscles activated in genuine smiles. ^{[7]XResearch source}
- Fast smiles are less likely to be genuine.
- Fake smiles are sometimes bigger because the person is trying to stretch their face.
5
Read the person's eyes. The eyes are very expressive, and it's possible to tell a lot about a person if you know what to look for in them.
- Power gazing means a person only looks into the triangle from your eyes to your forehead, meaning they are avoiding intimacy. If they look from your eyes to your mouth and down, that indicates a desire for intimacy. Looking from the eyes to the mouth only is called social gazing and shows comfort and friendship. ^{[8]XResearch source}
- Sustained eye contact can indicate an attempt to dominate or can give away that a person is lying.
- Eye contact for two to three seconds before looking away connotes confidence. Eye contact for 1 second or less indicates evasion or insecurity. ^{[9]XResearch source}
- Fast blinking can be a sign a person is interested in you.
- Liars will often look to the right when thinking. Some experts believe this is because they are concocting a story. ^{[10]XResearch source}
- Closing the eyes for a sustained period of time means a person needs time to think. ^{[11]XResearch source}
6
Watch what they do with their hands. As with the eyes, the hands can give you clues about a person's personality or what they are thinking.
- When a person keeps their palms down, it indicates they feel powerful. A downward palm can also be a sign that something is being rejected or stopped.
- When a person keeps their palms up, it can indicate submissiveness. Upward palms also indicate giving and an offering. ^{[12]XResearch source}
- Dilated pupils indicate interest. ^{[13]XResearch source}
- Reader Poll: We asked 701 How.com.vn readers, and 71% agreed that dilated pupils during eye contact (which indicates interest or attraction) is the hardest body language signal to pick up on when you’re trying to read someone. [Take Poll] So if you’re struggling to catch that cue, you’re not alone!
7
Watch their gestures. What people do with their hands can give you clues about what they are thinking. Gestures are defined as physical movements that reveal emotion or opinion. ^{[14]XResearch source}
- When someone touches your hand briefly, it shows they want a connection to you. ^{[15]XResearch source}
- When a person rubs their nose, they might be lying.
- If a person hides their hands, they might be hiding something from you. ^{[16]XResearch source}
- When a person rests their chin on their hand, they're making a decision.
- Scratching the back of the neck means a person has unanswered questions.
- Watch out for mirroring gestures. When a person starts to copy your expressions and gestures, it usually means they want to sell you something. ^{[17]XResearch source}
- Moving into personal space can be a sign of intimidation.
- Raising the eyebrows means a person thinks positively about you and wants to communicate better. ^{[18]XResearch source}
8
Don't forget to look at their ears, too. Many people overlook the ears, but sophisticated face readers believe that they can give clues to personality.^{[19]XResearch source}
- Small ears indicate an attention to detail and determination.
- People with large ears can be objective and spiritual.
- People with ears that stick out may be adventurous types who are open to trying new things.
- When people have ears that are high on their head, it can indicate they are intellectual and big thinkers.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Reading Verbal Cues

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1
Study word choice. Words people use can give clues to their behavior. For example, if a person tells you they won "another" award, this provides a clue that they are insecure because they wanted to ensure you knew they'd won before.
- This tells you it would be effective to offer praise for accomplishments. It pinpoints an area of vulnerability.
- Study whether a person's word choice matches their body language. Inconsistency can be telling. ^{[20]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
2
Spot lying. It's possible to spot whether a person might be lying based on what they say. Consider their comments in context though, and always be aware that reading verbal cues is not foolproof.
- Using a question to answer a question gives them more time to make up a story.
- When people add qualifiers like "to the best of my knowledge" they might be lying.
- When people are lying, they will sometimes remove references to themselves, avoiding use of the word "I." ^{[21]XResearch source}
- When lying, people sometimes use the present tense to refer to past events.
- Some studies have found that people who use more formal speech might be lying. For example, they might not use contractions or will use titles.
- People who are guilty of something will sometimes use words that soften the act. For example, instead of a word like steal, they might use a word like borrow.
3
Pay attention to tone and speed of voice. The sounds people give off when they talk can be very revealing about their personalities.
- People who talk too fast and too much are usually insecure or anxious. ^{[22]XResearch source}
- Sighing indicates sadness and frustration.
- If a person speaks too slowly, they may be depressed or lack spontaneity.
- If a person's voice changes pitch suddenly, they might be lying.
- A repetitive tone of voice indicates insincerity.
- Men may vary their tone of voice more when they are attracted to a woman. ^{[23]XResearch source}
4
Understanding sentence length. The average sentence contains between 10 to 15 words. This is known as the "mean length of utterance." ^{[24]XResearch source}
- Longer or shorter sentences than average is an indication of stress.
- Some experts believe you can tell a person is lying if they deviate from the mean length of utterance significantly. They will single out those sentences to study more closely.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Reading Emotional Energy

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1
Shake hands. When you shake a person's hands, what's your sense of their energy? Pay careful attention to what you feel. Do you feel warmth or coldness? ^{[25]XResearch source}
- Chinese medicine has a word for the energy a person gives off: Chi.
- Another word for emotional energy is a person's "vibe."
- To assess a person's energy, you may need to touch them, through a hug or handshake or just by touching their hand.
2
Use your intuition. Don't overthink it. Does the person make you feel good or not? Sometimes you just have a "gut feeling" you should pay attention to.
- Goose bumps can be a physical sign the body gives you that tells you something is not right. Or they might just indicate a sense of deja vu. ^{[26]XResearch source}
- Does a person make you feel drained or energized? This gives you clues to their emotional vibe.
- Pay attention to flashes of insight that interrupt your thinking.
- What's your sense of a person's overall energy? Not a gesture or tone here or there, but the overall atmosphere they create and feeling they give off?
3
Read their eyes. Emotional energy shines through in the eyes and gaze. The cliche "the eyes are the window to the soul" was created for a reason.
- Is their gaze hard and angry or soft and welcoming?
- Intimacy can be created through a simple gaze. Pay careful attention to the body language around the eyes. ^{[27]XResearch source}
4
Read a person's energy type. Ancient thinkers developed five elements to describe a person's overall energy. They believed understanding these elements could help you read people and even spot illness. ^{[28]XResearch source}
- People with fire energy are flamboyant, hysterical, and exciting.
- A person who has wood energy is vital, new, and energetic.
- People with earth energy are practical and methodical.
- People with metal energy are depressed and withdrawn.
- Water energy is an indicator of peacefulness and objectivity.

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What does it mean if someone has his arms behind his back?
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If someone has his arms behind his back, it means he is trying to hide things and is not open minded.
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What does it mean when someone winks at me?
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It could mean that the person likes you or is letting you in on a joke.
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What does it mean if he often lays his hands on my shoulder?
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It usually means they want to connect with you or comfort you. Doing it often is a sign of attraction and support.
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Tips

Be a good listener rather than a speaker. Too often, people don't stay silent long enough to truly observe.
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Don't assume a person is lying for sure because of a body language movement or verbal cue. You have to consider context, and sometimes such cues aren't accurate.
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You can use knowledge of reading people to improve your own vibe in the workplace. For example, make movements that convey confidence, such as a firm handshake and using an average amount of eye contact.
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