X
This article was co-authored by Julianne Cantarella. Julianne Cantarella is a Dating Coach, Certified Life Coach, Licensed Social Worker, and the CEO and President of New Jersey's Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping women heal from a heartbreak and create healthy long-term relationships. Julianne created a comprehensive transformational date coaching program From First Date to Soulmate™ that has helped hundreds of women find love. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from Ramapo College of New Jersey and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Fordham University. Julianne has contributed to numerous media such as Your Tango Online Magazine, 24Seven Wellness Magazine, and Talk of The Town Magazine. She has also been featured as a relationship expert on CBS, iHeartRadio, and PBS “This Emotional Life Project.”
This article has been viewed 48,406 times.
In today's electronically connected world, more and more people are connecting via dating websites, chat rooms, and instant messaging. No one seems to have written the rule book on online romance etiquette, but here are some things to consider if you are taking the plunge.
Steps
Part 1
Part 1 of 3:
Choosing an Online Dating Site
Look for the internet venue you will use for your romance. There are hundreds of dating websites to choose from, for every lifestyle and almost any country you can name.
Think about installing an instant messenger service on your computer. Yahoo and MSN offer, with a few exceptions, global instant messaging, and usually these services are free.
Pick an online dating service if you don't have a special someone already in mind to romance online. It is a reality that with so many troops deployed and many more people working far from home for contractors, missions, and other reasons, even long-term married couples rely on online romance to keep the fire burning while they are separated.
Try a free dating site if you are "window shopping" for a potential romantic interest. "Plentyoffish.com" is a Canadian-based website with live chat, photo personals, and global searches that is free to use in all of its formats.Advertisement
Part 2
Part 2 of 3:
Creating Your Profile
Consider the type of person you are looking for, and where you may find them.[1] Since you are going online looking for romance, chances are you may be looking across cultural boundaries for a certain type of person that you wouldn't expect to find at a local grocery store or laundry.
Decide if you want to look locally or globally for an online romantic connection. Think about whether you are interested in developing your romance into something permanent, and how far you are willing to go if you do.
Set up a profile and present the best version of yourself.[2] Remember, these profiles go out into the net for potentially millions of people to look at, so be careful what you put on to begin with. If you post a picture, you may end up standing in a supermarket checkout line beside someone you saw online the previous night, wondering, does he/she recognise me?- Choose your profile pictures carefully. It's important that your photos reflect your personality and match your written profile.[3]
Be honest! If you are a 5'6" tall guy, and your profile reads 6'2", it will be hard to pass off as a typo if you ever meet.Advertisement
Part 3
Part 3 of 3:
Falling in Love
Use "Ice breakers" or other services offered by the dating site if you see someone you are interested in. Once you are comfortable communicating with them anonymously at the website, you may want to give them your email and messenger contact details. If you are using these for other communications, set up a new account specifically for these romantic encounters.
Decide what time and for how long you will make yourself available for chatting and romancing online. This doesn't have to be an ironclad rule, but it helps to keep in mind that minutes can turn to hours chatting online.
Set ground rules for how personal discussions (chats) are going to be, and play it by ear if the content seems to be steaming up. The more familiar you are with your new "friend" the more you may want to slip past your comfort zone. Respect their comfort zone as well, though, or you might find yourself back at the dating site looking for someone else.
Buy a webcam if you want to share a visual experience with your romantic partner, but be aware that the image you send can be captured and reproduced or broadcast across the internet. Again, this may go into an area where the decision to use the webcam and how it is used is between consenting adults. You can have a dinner date over the webcam, or play rock paper scissors. You can fall asleep on Skype together, the possibilities are endless. Using a webcam is vital for you both to prove your identity. If your lover does not want to go on camera with you ever, there may be something she or he is hiding. Please understand that your lover may just be busy or tired that day.
Should an occasion arise where it is appropriate to send your online love interest a gift, there are several options. If you are familiar enough to have a home address, you may mail it directly, or order from an online catalog and have it shipped directly. Be careful about sending money to people online, there are plenty of people who are online only to scam or take advantage of lonely hearts.
Be thoughtful of your romantic interest. They may have a bad day, and not feel like talking, or family or personal issues may arise that keep them from a planned "rendezvous".
Keep mental tabs about birthdays, children, or other family members they may discuss, so that you are able to recognise important dates and express your thoughts on those days.
Stay faithful, or at least honest with your "friend". You may get involved as a fling, hobby, or some other self-gratification exercise, but as far as you are able to know, the person you are sharing online intimacy with is a REAL PERSON with REAL FEELINGS!Advertisement
Expert Q&A
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
SubmitAdvertisement
Tips
- Try to remember important dates and information, so you can send birthday greetings, congratulations, or whatever is appropriate.Thanks
- Don't exaggerate, be honest. If the connection you form evolves into true love and you meet this invisible person, you don't want to have to hunt excuses for lies.Thanks
Advertisement
Warnings
- Don't give out personal information unless you are committed and willing to take the consequences.Thanks
- Don't spend lots of money on long-distance phone calls. Instead, download apps that allow you to communicate, video, chat send locations for free at the App Store or Google Play. Line, Messenger, Couple, Rounds, Upptalk, TextMe, Oovoo, and Skype are apps that you can use to speak to your romantic love for free.Thanks
- Never give any person (man or woman) you met in an e-mail romance any money. If they complain about not being able to pay the bills or hint that they need money in any way. Stop! You are being conned. Get out of the e-mail relationship and do not send one dime!Thanks
- If you decide to meet face-to-face. Be prepared. It might not go how you planned. Be realistic. If the person rejects you or if you decide it is not right what you want then write an e-mail telling the person how you feel. Be honest.Thanks
- Be wary of the "too good to true" online. Your beautiful lady may be an old, wrinkled ex-con playing games.Thanks
Advertisement
Things You'll Need
- Internet connection
- Computer, or Internet cafe
- Webcams (optional)
References
About this article
Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Julianne Cantarella. Julianne Cantarella is a Dating Coach, Certified Life Coach, Licensed Social Worker, and the CEO and President of New Jersey's Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping women heal from a heartbreak and create healthy long-term relationships. Julianne created a comprehensive transformational date coaching program From First Date to Soulmate™ that has helped hundreds of women find love. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from Ramapo College of New Jersey and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Fordham University. Julianne has contributed to numerous media such as Your Tango Online Magazine, 24Seven Wellness Magazine, and Talk of The Town Magazine. She has also been featured as a relationship expert on CBS, iHeartRadio, and PBS “This Emotional Life Project.” This article has been viewed 48,406 times.
Co-authors: 26
Updated: July 21, 2023
Views: 48,406
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 48,406 times.
Did this article help you?
⚠️ Disclaimer:
Content from Wiki How English language website. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License; additional terms may apply.
Wiki How does not encourage the violation of any laws, and cannot be responsible for any violations of such laws, should you link to this domain, or use, reproduce, or republish the information contained herein.
- - A few of these subjects are frequently censored by educational, governmental, corporate, parental and other filtering schemes.
- - Some articles may contain names, images, artworks or descriptions of events that some cultures restrict access to
- - Please note: Wiki How does not give you opinion about the law, or advice about medical. If you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial or risk management), please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgeable in that area.
- - Readers should not judge the importance of topics based on their coverage on Wiki How, nor think a topic is important just because it is the subject of a Wiki article.
Advertisement
