How to Protect Your Rights As a Surrogate Mother

If you had a relatively enjoyable, uncomplicated pregnancy and feel empathy for couples who've had difficulty giving birth to a child of their own, you may be interested in serving as a surrogate mother. While you may be excited at the prospect of helping someone grow their family, you also must keep in mind that you could end up being responsible for the child. To protect your rights as a surrogate mother, go through a reputable surrogacy agency and hire your own attorney before entering a legally enforceable surrogacy agreement with the intended family.^{[1]XResearch source}

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Choosing an Agency

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Search for surrogacy agencies in your area. Since surrogacy generally isn't regulated, one of the best ways to protect your rights as a surrogate mother is to sign up with an established and reputable surrogacy agency.^{[2]XResearch source}
- If you know anyone who has been a surrogate mother, you might begin by asking her if she used a surrogacy agency and whether she would recommend it.
- Family law attorneys who specialize in surrogacy, whether they work with surrogate mothers or with intended parents, may be able to tell you about some established agencies near you.
- You also can find surrogacy agencies online by doing a basic internet search for "surrogacy agency" and the name of your state. However, if you find a surrogacy agency through an internet search, make sure you thoroughly research the agency's background and reputation.
2
Talk to counselors at several agencies. If you've found agencies in which you're interested, make an appointment to speak with someone in person who can explain the agency's procedures and answer any questions.^{[3]XResearch source}
- If the agency itself is too far away for you to visit in person, you still can arrange a meeting over the phone or using video conferencing online.
- Find out if you can talk to any women who have been surrogate mothers through the agency in the past and ask them questions about their experience.
- The agency may have a preliminary application it requires you to fill out before you can speak with a counselor about becoming a surrogate mother. This application typically requires basic biographical and contact information.
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3
Evaluate each agency's process. If you've looked at several agencies, compare and contrast their procedures and the protection and support they provide so you can choose the one that best suits your needs.^{[4]XResearch source}
- The counselor should provide an overview of the agency's screening requirements. Make sure you qualify to sign up with the agency. If you have questions about any of the requirements, you can explain your situation to the counselor and get his or her advice.
- Review the services the agency offers in light of your own needs and interests. Take note of legal services and support the agency offers. Keep in mind that even if the agency has a legal team, you still should hire your own independent counsel before you sign a surrogacy agreement.
- Find out if the agency has support groups or offers counseling or other psychological support before, during, and after pregnancy.
4
Fill out your application. Surrogacy agencies have written applications you must complete with information about yourself, your medical history, and the reasons for your interest in becoming a surrogate mother.^{[5]XResearch source}
- Applying to be a surrogate mother at a surrogate agency typically is a multi-step process. The first phase will determine whether you meet the agency's basic qualifications to be a surrogate.
- Most agencies require their surrogates to be at least 21 years old and have had at least one pregnancy. It also may be important that you are a non-smoker and have your own health insurance.
- Some agencies require information and permission to run personal, criminal, and financial background checks on you before they will approve you to be a surrogate mother.
- The agency also may carefully evaluate your personal background, family, and home life.
- Provided you meet those qualifications, you move to the next phase in which the agency gathers more information about you so you can be matched with the most suitable intended parents.
5
Complete any required tests. After you've completed your application, the agency typically will have you submit to a number of medical and psychological tests to evaluate your fitness to become a surrogate mother.
- Even if you've already undergone medical examinations, the agency typically will have their own examinations and tests that must be completed before you will be approved as a surrogate mother.
- You also can expect to undergo extensive psychiatric evaluation in an attempt to determine whether you are mentally fit to cope with the stress and difficulties of being a surrogate mother.
- Keep in mind that if you are married, you typically must have your spouse's consent to be a surrogate. Many of the requirements and restrictions on surrogate mothers during pregnancy will impact your spouse's life as well.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Working with the Intended Family

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Meet with potential matches. Once you are approved by your agency as a potential surrogate mother, a counselor will run your application against the information provided by intended parents to find one or more matches.^{[6]XResearch source}
- The agency may find matches right away, or you may have to wait a little while.
- Your counselor will provide you with information about the prospective parents that are looking for a surrogate mother.
- If you don't like the parents on paper or don't feel comfortable with them, you have the right to refuse to meet them or work with them.
- On the other hand, if you think you'd be interested in working with the family and would like to know more about them, your counselor will give your information to the parents and arrange a meeting.
2
Ask questions about the family's lifestyle and expectations. Particularly given that you are going to be closely connected with the intended family for at least nine months, it's important that you are comfortable with them as people.
- If the intended family lives far away, your meeting may take place over the phone or using video conferencing technology online.
- Keep in mind that if you agree to work with this family, you will be carrying their child for nine months. After you give birth, that child you carried will be raised by them.
- Feel free to ask as many questions as you need to ask to get a sense of who they are as people and what kind of parents they would be.
- If you're uncomfortable with the idea of helping them become parents, you have the right to say no. Don't let either the agency or the prospective parents pressure you into being their surrogate mother if you have problems or doubts.
3
Discuss financial issues. Your agency likely will require intended parents to pay some, if not all, of your medical and living expenses while you are pregnant with their child. However, to protect your rights as a surrogate mother you must raise any financial concerns you have.
- The agency counselor likely went over the financial benefits of being a surrogate, but you should feel comfortable discussing these issues openly with the intended parents.
- Keep in mind that choosing to be a surrogate mother should not be a hardship to you. If you and your family are not able to handle the financial burdens that may come along with you being pregnant, even with the payments you receive, you probably should consider waiting until you are in a more stable position.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Signing a Surrogacy Agreement

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Hire your own attorney. The intended parents likely will have their own attorney to draft a surrogacy agreement that protects their interests. An important part of protecting your rights as a surrogate mother is having your own attorney to ensure the agreement also is fair to you.^{[7]XResearch source}^{[8]XResearch source}
- Your agency also may have a legal team. However, keep in mind they are employed by the surrogacy agency to facilitate surrogacy agreements, and may not necessarily put your rights and interests first.
- To find an attorney, start by searching online for your state or local bar association's website. They typically have searchable directories or attorney referral programs that you can use to find an attorney licensed in your area who has experience representing surrogate mothers.
- Try to interview at least three attorneys before you make your final decision. Ask each attorney lots of questions and make sure you feel comfortable and at ease with the attorney you choose.
- Keep in mind an attorney will have a hard time protecting your rights and looking out for your interests if you find him or her intimidating and are afraid to speak up when something bothers you.
2
Make sure you are comfortable with the restrictions. Intended parents likely will impose significant restrictions on your lifestyle and activities while you are carrying their child. If you are uncomfortable with anything or doubt your ability follow a particular restriction, it's important to speak up before you sign the agreement.
- Some intended parents have strict dietary and lifestyle restrictions they want to impose on their surrogate mother during pregnancy.
- Read the restrictions carefully and don't be afraid to ask the intended parents questions about why they've included a particular requirement.
- In some instances the restriction may be on medical advice, but in others it may be something the intended parents are willing to let go if you indicate you have a problem with it.
3
Negotiate problematic terms. Just because the attorney for the intended parents has already drafted an agreement doesn't mean it's set in stone. If there's any part of the agreement with which you don't agree, mention it to your attorney.^{[9]XResearch source}
- One of the most important concerns in regard to protecting your rights as a surrogate mother is to make absolutely sure that your name is not on the child's birth certificate. If it is, a court can declare that you have a legal responsibility for the child.
- To that end, make sure the surrogacy agreement specifically addresses the termination of your parental rights. If possible, include arrangements in the agreement to have parental rights established through a court order before the child is born.
- Your attorney will advise and request the agreement be amended if terms are not included that are required by law.
- For example, a surrogacy agreement is not valid under California law unless it includes specifics on who has responsibility for the surrogate mother's healthcare costs during pregnancy.
4
Execute the final agreement. Once you're satisfied that the surrogacy agreement adequately protects your rights, both you and the intended parents must sign the agreement so it can be legally enforced in a court of law.
- Make sure both intended parents sign the agreement. In some states, depending on the surrogacy arrangement, your spouse also may be required to sign the agreement.
- Having all parties sign the agreement in front of a notary public provides an additional layer of protection for you fi the intended parents try to back out of the agreement.
- You might also consider signing in front of witnesses who will be able to testify in your behalf if any problems occur.
5
Arrange for continuing support. Being a surrogate mother can take a mental as well as physical toll. Joining a support group or talking to other surrogate mothers can help you remain balanced during the process.
- Part of protecting your rights is protecting yourself and your mental health. Don't be afraid to ask for help or support at any time in the process if you feel you need it.
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