How to Prevent Teen Suicide

While it can be scary, it is fairly common to contemplate life and death. One in five U.S. teenagers seriously considers suicide every year, according to the CDC.^{[1]XTrustworthy SourceCenters for Disease Control and PreventionMain public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human ServicesGo to source} The important thing is to calmly support and care for the teen, and remind him that there is hope and support.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Acknowledging Risk Factors

1
Watch out for significant stressors. Teens that feel overwhelmed by distress may feel unable to cope with their feelings and situations, and may not see other options. Large stressors can include loss (such as a romantic breakup or a large fight with a friend), violence in the home, confusion about sexual orientation, being bullied, or being victim of physical or sexual violence.^{[2]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}
- To an adult, a teen’s problems may appear minor. However, teens often have not developed skills to handle distress, which can make the distress feel much larger. A fight with a friend may feel like a much bigger deal to a teen.
Lots of factors can contribute to suicidal feelings, including situational, psychological, and social factors. Teens that have been diagnosed with a psychological disorder or disability (such as, anxiety, autism, bipolar disorder, depression, or schizophrenia) are at higher risk.^{[3]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}
3
Recognize that depression can look different in teens. Depression can manifest differently with kids and teens than adults. Teens may present as irritable, grumpy, or hostile. A teen may experience sudden explosions of anger and may feel more sensitive.^{[4]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source} Failing grades, withdrawal from social contact, and alcohol use can also signal depression.^{[5]XResearch source}
- For more information about depression, check out How to Deal with Depression.
4
Look for warning signs. While not every teen will respond the same way when debating suicide, there are some warning signs that can clue you in if a teen is thinking of suicide. Consider if you’ve noticed:^{[6]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}^{[7]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Talking about death or dying
- Seeking out means (obtaining a gun or pills)
- Verbal hints (saying “I won’t bother you for much longer”)
- Alcoholism or drug use
- Changes in personality (sad, withdrawn, irritable)
- Changes in behavior (sudden drop in grades, not wanting to be with friends)
- Eating/sleeping habits (eating more or less than usual or sleeping more or less than usual)
- Acting erratically
- Believing things will never get better
- If major changes have occurred in the teen’s behavior and now the teen is often hostile, angry, and negative, these changes may signal depression.
5
Recognize previous attempts. If a teen has previously attempted or had thoughts of suicide, it can increase the likelihood of suicidal thoughts or re-attempting. Reflect on personal history and recognize any past history with suicide.^{[8]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- This can include suicide attempts or talking about suicide.
- Ask the teen if there have been times of feeling suicidal in the past. Be open to hearing, and listen as the teen talks. Ask about what feelings drive the thoughts of suicide. Reassure the teen that you support and love them.
6
Reflect on family history. Some psychological risk factors can run in families, such as a family history of depression, psychiatric hospitalization, or suicide. If someone in your family has died by suicide, it can increase the vulnerability of others in the family who may consider or go through with suicide.^{[9]XResearch source}
- While nothing is ever a direct link, family patterns can indicate more likelihood for distress. It does not mean that genetics cause suicidal feelings.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Preventing Suicide as a Parent/Trusted Adult

If you are concerned about your teenager attempting suicide, make the home safe. Remove all firearms from the home and lock them somewhere safe where the teen cannot obtain them. Lock up any pills that could be used for overdose. You may even consider locking up kitchen knives. Keep the home as safe as possible.^{[10]XTrustworthy SourceHealthyChildren.orgHealth information from the American Academy of Pediatrics.Go to source}
2
Enact a safety plan. If a teen is feeling suicidal, you may need to be the voice of reason. Communicate clearly with the teen, and collaborate on creating a safety plan that ensures she will be safe during a certain time span. Creating a safety plan shows that you care, are invested in the teen’s life, and are creating boundaries around the crisis.^{[11]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Contract with the teen that they will not attempt suicide for the next 24 hours.
- If the teen is feeling suicidal, have a trusted contact to call that will always respond.
- Include the names and numbers of your medical doctor and therapist.
- Enlist the help of friends or family members that can be available in an emergency.
- Agree on some techniques or activities for the teen to engage in when feeling suicidal, such as relaxation techniques, listening to music, drawing, etc.
- Know the nearest hospital to go if a crisis erupts and the teen must be cared for immediately.
3
Respond to crisis immediately. If a teen is talking about suicide or threatens suicide, take it seriously. It’s not a joke and it needs to be handled as a serious crisis. Be there for the teen and be a support.^{[12]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- If the teen is threatening suicide, take them to the emergency department at your local hospital. They will do a crisis evaluation, ensure the teen’s safety, and create a safety plan before letting them go home.
4
Speak up if you’re concerned. A teen may feel embarrassed or ashamed of being suicidal. Don’t be afraid to ask how they are doing, ask about depression, or ask about suicide. You won’t be giving any ideas to the teen, but showing that you care. Showing that you are concerned can go a long ways in showing the teen that people do care and that you want to be a support.^{[13]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Approach your teen calmly at a neutral time and ask how they are doing. If they are shying away, mention that you are concerned about how they are doing, and that you would like to talk about the possibility of suicide. Be sincere and supportive, but let the teen know you are concerned.
- It can be nerve-wracking to have these conversations, but know that you may be saving a life.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Dealing With Suicidal Thoughts As a Teen

Allow some space to grow between thoughts, feelings, and action. If you feel like you must go through with suicide, wait 24 hours. Having thoughts of suicide varies quite a bit from actually going through with suicide. Recognize the difference and allow some time.^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
2
Talk to someone you trust. It may be easy to convince yourself that nobody cares or that nobody understands, but that is rarely the case. Talk to someone like a parent, aunt, friend, coach, or church leader that you feel safe around. Don’t worry about anyone judging you or shaming you; it’s important to be honest and enlist the help of someone who cares. Talking with someone can release some of the tension of holding suicidal feelings to yourself.^{[15]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- If you are a friend to someone who is suicidal, provide a listening ear and stay supportive. If you are fearful a friend will go through with suicide, talk with a trusted and supportive adult who can help intervene. Don’t stay silent.
3
Practice being present. Avoid getting caught up in the past or worrying about the future. Choose to be present. Recognize that you can change the way you feel right now. You cannot change the past, but choose to experience now. This can de-stress your body and your mind.^{[16]XResearch source}
- Choose one sense and focus on it. You may choose to focus on listening. Listen to all the noises around you and recognize how much you tune out. Or tune in to your body and feel what it is like to have your feet on the ground, your back against a chair. Focus on your body and your senses as a way to calm yourself.
4
Relax. You may feel like your mind is racing or you cannot keep your thoughts together. Or you may be in so much emotional pain that it feels like physical pain. Use relaxation to calm your mind and your body and allow stress to begin to melt.^{[17]XResearch source}
- Take some deep breaths. Focus on the air coming into your body, then release it, feeling it leave your body. Breathe slowly and methodically.
- Relax your muscles. Notice any tension in your muscles (your back, your arms, or your neck) and release the tension. If you feel tense all over, tighten all of your muscles for three seconds, then release.
If you’re struggling with a situation, know that the situation will pass. If you feel like your mental health problems are too much to handle, know that you can seek treatment. If you have a mental disorder, symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and/or schizophrenia, know that these can all be treated. Remember, when suicide feels like the only option, know that there are options you currently cannot see.^{[18]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
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Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Practicing Long-Term Solutions

1
See a therapist. For ongoing mental health problems, a therapist can be highly beneficial. Many people who experience thoughts of suicide struggle with depression. A therapist can help find coping strategies that work, address suicidal thoughts, and help work through depression symptoms.^{[19]XTrustworthy SourceHealthyChildren.orgHealth information from the American Academy of Pediatrics.Go to source}
- Keep in mind that there is nothing bad or wrong about seeing a therapist. Lots of adults and teens see a therapist, and it’s one way of contributing to a happier life.
- For more information, check out How to Tell if You Need to See a Therapist.
2
Keep a solid support network. Make sure the teen has friends that are caring and supportive. If there are people in the teen’s life that will shame or embarrass the teen for feeling suicidal, encourage other friendships.^{[20]XResearch source}
- Parents, listen to your teen and make time to talk (and listen). Show that you care and are invested in the teen’s health and well-being.^{[21]XTrustworthy SourceHealthyChildren.orgHealth information from the American Academy of Pediatrics.Go to source}
3
Be a good listener. Spend time with your teen, and give them the opportunity to open up to you. Validate their feelings and allow them to feel sad and cry; sometimes this is what they need. Examples of helpful things to say include:
- "I'm here for you."
- "That sounds really difficult."
- "I care about you, and want to help."
- "I'm sorry to hear you're going through so much pain."
4
Engage in healthy family relations. Parents can model to their teens ways to cope with distress. Engage in problem-solving skills, conflict resolution, and resolving problems in non-violent ways.^{[22]XResearch source}
- If family life is difficult, consider engaging in family therapy, which can help families understand each other better and find solutions to problems more easily.
People who feel suicidal may be experiencing distorted, highly negative thoughts. They may feel like no one loves them. You can remind them of the truth by being a little extra loving towards them. Offer hugs, tell them how much you love them, spend time with them, and do things for them to remind them they are loved.
6
Help your teen keep experiencing life. People suffering from mental health problems may begin to self-isolate, and may fall into a spiral of loneliness and inertia. Invite your teen to go out (for a walk, to a restaurant, to the movies, wherever) and spend time with you and others. A change of scenery, and spending time with others, can help keep them engaged with the rest of the world.
- Expect to take initiative. Your teen may be too exhausted to start doing something themselves.
- Don't force them to go out. Sometimes your teen just needs a little push to get going, and sometimes they really are too tired. Offer, but don't pressure.
7
Find enjoyable activities. Engage the teen in healthy activities that allow the teen to feel at ease and happy. Engaging in fun activities can help ward off depression, create a social network, and can give a sense of purpose. Find a hobby like sewing, start practicing martial arts, or volunteer at an animal shelter.^{[23]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Keep trying new hobbies until the teen finds one that clicks. The teen may find out he loves hiking or painting or writing. Engaging in things you love will help create meaning in life.
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The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 and is staffed with people trained to talk about suicide. If you or your teen needs help, call or text 988. For a text-based hotline, go to CrisisChat.org. In Canada, you can visit this website to take quick action, as well as contact the Suicide Crisis Helpline (988) for help.
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Remember that self-injury does not necessarily mean someone will commit suicide. Teens who harm themselves by burning, cutting, et cetera may not be suicidal.
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