How to Prevent Being Bullied

Bullying is a common problem in many schools. If you're worried about bullying, you may want to know how to prevent it. If you're the target of a bully, never feel like it's your fault. It's always the responsibility of the bully to not lash out at others. Still, there are some steps you can take to reduce the likelihood bullies will target you. Work on cultivating a calm and confident attitude that will repel bullies. Avoid areas in your school where bullies tend to congregate. If you end up encountering bullies anyway, talk to an adult about the problem. Bullying can have serious consequences if left unaddressed.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Avoiding Bullies

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Stick by your closest friends. You should work on forming solid friendships with people who bring you up rather than down. Make friends with people who are kind and supportive. In school, stick by these friends. The buddy system can keep bullies away.^{[1]XTrustworthy SourceHealthyChildren.orgHealth information from the American Academy of Pediatrics.Go to source}^{[2]XResearch source}^{[3]XExpert SourceKatie Styzek
Professional School CounselorExpert Interview. 28 October 2020.}
- Always have a group of friends nearby. Eat lunch with a group of friends and walk between classes with your friends.
- Bullies often target people who seem alone and isolated. If you look like you have a solid friend group, a bully may be less likely to seek you out as a victim.^{[4]XExpert SourceKatie Styzek
  Professional School CounselorExpert Interview. 28 October 2020.}
2
Avoid areas where bullying occurs. Avoiding places where bullies hang out can help prevent bullying. As you navigate your school, stay away from areas where bullies are likely to congregate.^{[5]XTrustworthy SourceStopBullying.govWebsite run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullyingGo to source}
- Bullies often gather near areas where there is not a lot of supervision. Bullies may hang out in areas like the locker room or secluded hallways, for example. Try to avoid these areas.
- If you have to enter an area where bullies may be gathered, always bring a friend.
Bullies are more likely to target people in the absence of adult supervision. Try to stay near adults in your school. During lunch, for example, you and your friends could sit near the teachers. Between classes, avoid lingering in the hallway. Go to your classroom right away to avoid attracting a bully.^{[6]XTrustworthy SourceStopBullying.govWebsite run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullyingGo to source}
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Repelling Bullies

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Plan ways to distract yourself if you're bullied. The best means to deflect a bully is often to suppress your emotions when insulted. You want to act like whatever the bully said did not bother you. Showing a reaction will only fuel the bully; however, it can be hard to suppress your emotions in the moment. It's a good idea to have a number of ideas on hand for distracting yourself. This is a good technique if you're stuck in a situation where you cannot simply leave.^{[7]XResearch source}
- Think of things you can use to occupy your mind in the event you're targeted by a bully. Could you count backwards from 100? Could you recite a poem or song lyrics in your head? Could you try spelling words backwards?
- You should not suppress your emotions forever. If a bully hurt your feelings, you should talk this out with a friend or family member; however, wait until you're in a safe environment to react emotionally.
2
Ignore bullying as it occurs. If someone makes comments about your appearance, personality, or anything else, just ignore it. When you can walk away without saying anything, do so. Bullies thrive on a reaction and will be less likely to target those who do not react. This is where you can employ certain techniques to distract yourself.^{[8]XResearch source}
- Act like you did not hear anything when a bully lashes out at you. Continue with what you were doing and then walk away as quickly as you can.
- If a bully sees you do not react to his or her tormenting, the bully is more likely to look for another victim.
3
Stand up for yourself if necessary. If a bully persists in tormenting you, even after you've tried ignoring them, you should assert yourself; however, do so in a way that is confident without being emotional or aggressive. If a bully thinks they've successfully got under your skin, they'll keep going. A calm and collected approach is best if you need to stick up for yourself.^{[9]XResearch source}^{[10]XTrustworthy SourceHealthyChildren.orgHealth information from the American Academy of Pediatrics.Go to source}
- Use a loud voice to say something like, "No. Stop it." Then, immediately walk away. You do not want to get stuck in a screaming match with a bully. Tell them to stop, and then continue on your way.
- If a bully tries to bait you into an argument after you've asserted yourself, say something like, "I'm happy to talk this out with you, but I'm not going to argue or fight."
- You could also say something like "Stop bothering me."^{[11]XExpert SourceKatie Styzek
  Professional School CounselorExpert Interview. 28 October 2020.}
- Use assertive body language. Stand up straight, look them in the eye, and speak in a clear, audible tone.
Giving physical or verbal abuse back is exactly what a bully wants. It is a reaction, and will only serve to escalate the situation. Never fight a bully, especially not physically. If the situation becomes aggressive, try to remove yourself as quickly as you can.^{[12]XResearch source}
5
Raise your self-esteem. Bullies often target people who do not think highly of themselves. If you have low self-esteem, find ways to feel good about yourself. This may naturally ward off bullies.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Think about things about yourself you want to change. Maybe you wish your grades were higher. You could work on studying harder, watching less television, and doing your homework after school.
- If you feel more confident in your grades, your self-esteem will rise. This will make bullies less likely to target you.
6
Take action to prevent cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is a major concern as well. There are certain actions you can take to avoid coming into contact with bullies online.^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceStopBullying.govWebsite run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullyingGo to source}
- Avoid sharing anything that could be potentially embarrassing for you in the wrong hands, like awkward pictures or videos. Extend this same courtesy to friends. Be careful what you post about others, as cyber bullies may target your friends.
- Always keep your password a secret from everyone. If someone gets your password, they could hack your account and post damaging information about you online.
- Check your privacy settings. You can avoid cyber bullies by making sure your information is only shared with close friends.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Dealing with a Bullying Problem

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Report a problem to an adult. No one wants to feel like a tattletale, but bullying is a serious problem. If you or your friends are being bullied, this can cause major damage to your emotional well being. If bullying is physical, it can be dangerous to let it go on.^{[15]XResearch source}
- Find an adult you trust. A teacher, principal, parent, or a worker in your school can help you address bullying.^{[16]XExpert SourceKatie Styzek
  Professional School CounselorExpert Interview. 28 October 2020.}
- You are not tattling over a small matter. Bullying is serious. If you are getting bullied, chances are other students in your school are as well. You are doing everyone a favor, including the bully, by making sure the situation is appropriately addressed.
- You can request to change your schedule to avoid bullies.
2
Stand up for other people. You should never stand by and let bullying happen. If you see other people being targeted by bullies, step up and say something. Consider how you would feel in the same situation. You would likely want someone to help you.^{[17]XTrustworthy SourceStopBullying.govWebsite run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullyingGo to source}
- Show kindness to anyone being bullied. If you know a student who's a frequent target of bullies, try to befriend him or her.
- If you notice a student is being targeted a lot, you should tell an adult. This student could probably use help deterring the bully.
If you're unsure of how to cope with bullies, talk to other kids in your school. Other students may be being targeted by the same bully or group of bullies. You can strategize with other students and look into ways to stick together and stand up to the bullies.
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What do I do if someone's picking on me?
Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Expert Answer
Being picked on can be a very hurtful experience. If you start to feel down about yourself, remind yourself of your amazing qualities, and remain confident in your abilities and talents.
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