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This article was co-authored by George Sachs, PsyD. George Sachs is a Licensed Psychologist and the Owner of Sachs Center based in New York, New York. With over ten years of experience, Dr. Sachs specializes in treating ADD/ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders in children, teens, and adults. He holds a BS in Psychology from Emory University. Dr. Sachs earned his Doctorate of Psychology (PsyD) from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago. He completed his clinical training in Chicago at Cook County Hospital, Mt. Sinai Hospital, and the Child Study Center. Dr. Sachs completed his internship and postdoctoral work at the Children’s Institute in Los Angeles, where he supervised and trained therapists in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT). He has been trained as a Gestalt Therapist and certified by the Gestalt Associates Training Program of Los Angeles. Dr. Sachs is the author of The Adult ADD Solution, Helping the Traumatized Child, and Helping Your Husband with Adult ADD. He has appeared on the Huffington Post, NBC Nightly News, CBS, and WPIX discussing his holistic approach to ADD/ADHD treatment.
There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 19,375 times.
Everyone feels self-doubt at some point. But, if you don't address feelings of self-doubt, they can eat away at your confidence and shrink your opportunities. Overcome self-doubt by adopting a new perspective, improving your self-confidence, and taking steps to enjoy a brighter future.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Retraining Your Thoughts
Look at the situation through someone else's eyes. Most of the time, you may be much harder on yourself than you would be on others or vice versa. Think about how a dear friend or family member would see your situation.[1]- Ask yourself whether you can look at your circumstances differently. For example, you encounter a setback while applying to college that makes you question your worthiness. How would your mother or father view the situation? They would likely tell you to keep pushing and not beat yourself up.
- Learn to treat yourself as your best friend would. Think of how your friend would speak to you about this situation and speak the same way towards yourself.
Remove absolute words from your vocabulary. The words you use to describe yourself have the power to tank your self-confidence. Plus, absolute terms are often very unrealistic. Remove absolute terms from your vocabulary and notice how your feelings of self-doubt start to change.[2]- Skip words like “always,” “never,” “no one,” or “should.” These terms are rigid and unrealistic, only adding to your sense of insecurity.
Recite empowering affirmations. When you lack self-confidence, you can trick your brain into thinking you feel empowered by repeating a mantra. Certain words or phrases have the capacity to shift your thinking and help you believe in your abilities.[3]- For instance, you might say, “You are worthy” or “You are doing great.” Repeat these aloud for maximum impact.
Start a gratitude practice. Cultivating gratitude is another way to shift your thinking in a positive direction. If you are insecure, you may focus primarily on what's going wrong.[4] The very nature of gratitude is the opposite—to focus on what's right in your life. Spend some time each day in gratitude.[5]- There are many free or inexpensive apps, such as Gratitude Journal or Gratitude Diary, that you can use to help keep your gratitude a daily practice.[6]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Boosting Self-Confidence
Keep a record of your achievements. Self-doubt can create a chain of uncertainty if you let it. Reel in your uncertainties by focusing on your strengths, not your shortcomings. Rather than dwell on your faults, take out the time to reflect on the many successes you have enjoyed in your life. Remembering successes helps develop a “can-do” attitude that eliminates self-doubt.[7]- Write down the accomplishments of your life. Keep a running list and add to it each time you conquer an obstacle, big or small.
Get a daily dose of motivation. Podcasts, videos, books, and movies with an optimistic perspective can help you overcome your self-doubts.[8] What's more, such materials often provide practical solutions for dealing with life's challenges, so you will feel empowered to act.[9]- Find some empowering people to listen to and/or read. Turn to these sources when you're feeling low in confidence.
- Check out popular motivational videos, such as Tony Robbin's “Stay Hungry,” on YouTube.[10]
Invite positive people into your life. Surround yourself with people who see your value. A strong support system is an asset for your life, in general. When trying to cope with self-doubt though, it can help to spend time with people who treat you fairly and make you feel worthy. Periods of insecurity may come and go, but you'll feel more resilient to them if you have a positive social circle.[11]- Enrich existing relationships and form new ones. Spend more time with your current friends, but also make an effort to forge new friendships by getting out more.
- Spend time with the positive people in your life such as friends and family, but also mentors, coaches and anyone else whom you can confide in.
- Being able to verbalize your doubts to others can help you gain outside perspective about yourself and your life that you may not have seen before.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Moving Forward
Set immediate, actionable goals. Long-term goals are great, but self-doubt is likely to creep in when you don't see yourself progressing. To build morale and keep your insecurities at bay, develop short-term goals that allow you to see more immediate results.[12]- For example, you might set a goal to double your income in a year. While this goal is motivating, it may help to create smaller goals, too. Try adding other goals like reaching a certain income within the next month. Or, strive to get five new clients in the next two weeks. Make them short-term, feasible, and exciting for best results.
- 2Find someone to hold you accountable. Find a person who can hold you accountable to do what you say you are planning on doing, despite how you feel or the doubt you have. Accountability can be as simple as just sending a text daily stating that you accomplished your goal for the day.[13]
Enhance your skills. Sometimes, self-doubt creeps in when you feel incompetent in a certain area. As you work to stop self-doubt, it can help to hone your abilities in key areas of your life. You might do this by joining a professional development organization, taking a certification course, or reading books relating to your industry.[14]
Seek feedback from others. Having an ongoing conversation with those around you about your talents and abilities can stop self-doubt in its tracks. Frequently, people avoid discussing areas in their lives in which they feel insecure. When you purposely bring these areas into focus, the self-doubt will gradually disappear. Plus, feedback helps you see both the positive and negative aspects of your abilities.[15]- The next time you catch yourself caught in a web of self-doubt, reach out to someone for feedback. For instance, you might say to your partner, “I feel like you are avoiding me. Have I done something wrong?”
See a therapist for chronic self-doubt. Whether your self-doubt is a recent issue or it stems from childhood insecurity, you must reach out for help if it's undermining your goals. A professional therapist will be able to help you see your situation from a different perspective and offer practical tips for overcoming negative thought patterns.[16]Advertisement
Expert Q&A
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- QuestionHow can I overcome self-doubt when I have ADHD?
George Sachs, PsyDGeorge Sachs is a Licensed Psychologist and the Owner of Sachs Center based in New York, New York. With over ten years of experience, Dr. Sachs specializes in treating ADD/ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders in children, teens, and adults. He holds a BS in Psychology from Emory University. Dr. Sachs earned his Doctorate of Psychology (PsyD) from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago. He completed his clinical training in Chicago at Cook County Hospital, Mt. Sinai Hospital, and the Child Study Center. Dr. Sachs completed his internship and postdoctoral work at the Children’s Institute in Los Angeles, where he supervised and trained therapists in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT). He has been trained as a Gestalt Therapist and certified by the Gestalt Associates Training Program of Los Angeles. Dr. Sachs is the author of The Adult ADD Solution, Helping the Traumatized Child, and Helping Your Husband with Adult ADD. He has appeared on the Huffington Post, NBC Nightly News, CBS, and WPIX discussing his holistic approach to ADD/ADHD treatment.
Licensed PsychologistDo small things to improve your self-esteem, like being early and meeting a deadline. In fact, just having a realistic idea of how long something's going to take and then actually doing it and following through is going to improve your self-esteem. - QuestionHow can I think more positively?
Sandra PossingSandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on mindset and leadership transformation. Sandra received her coaching training from The Coaches Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a BA in Anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
Life CoachStart a gratitude journal or log. Add two to three things that you appreciate about your day to the journal. - QuestionWhat is self doubt?
Sydney AxelrodSydney Axelrod is a certified life coach and the owner of Sydney Axelrod LLC, a life coaching business focused on professional and personal development. Through one-on-one coaching, digital courses, and group workshops, Sydney works with clients to discover their purpose, navigate life transitions, and set and accomplish goals. Sydney has over 1,000 hours of relevant coaching certifications and holds a BBA in Marketing and Finance from Emory University.
Certified Life CoachIt's a lack of faith in yourself. Often, this happens when we let negative emotions turn into negative thoughts. This is why it's so important to take care of yourself and keep your emotions and thoughts separate in your head.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/making-change/201212/stop-self-doubt-in-its-tracks-and-build-self-confidence
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/top-10-lesser-known-self-help-strategies-for-anxiety/
- ↑ Sydney Axelrod. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ Sydney Axelrod. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.
- ↑ http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/5-awesome-ios-apps-starting-keeping-gratitude-journal/
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-v-schroll-/10-things-you-can-do-today-to-overcome-self-doubt_b_9777824.html
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ http://www.positivityblog.com/overcome-self-doubt/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiVkYo7ci7g
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201507/why-we-feel-insecure-and-how-we-can-stop
- ↑ Sydney Axelrod. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.
- ↑ Sandra Possing. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-powerful-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/making-change/201212/stop-self-doubt-in-its-tracks-and-build-self-confidence
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-v-schroll-/10-things-you-can-do-today-to-overcome-self-doubt_b_9777824.html
About this article
George Sachs, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
This article was co-authored by George Sachs, PsyD. George Sachs is a Licensed Psychologist and the Owner of Sachs Center based in New York, New York. With over ten years of experience, Dr. Sachs specializes in treating ADD/ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders in children, teens, and adults. He holds a BS in Psychology from Emory University. Dr. Sachs earned his Doctorate of Psychology (PsyD) from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago. He completed his clinical training in Chicago at Cook County Hospital, Mt. Sinai Hospital, and the Child Study Center. Dr. Sachs completed his internship and postdoctoral work at the Children’s Institute in Los Angeles, where he supervised and trained therapists in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT). He has been trained as a Gestalt Therapist and certified by the Gestalt Associates Training Program of Los Angeles. Dr. Sachs is the author of The Adult ADD Solution, Helping the Traumatized Child, and Helping Your Husband with Adult ADD. He has appeared on the Huffington Post, NBC Nightly News, CBS, and WPIX discussing his holistic approach to ADD/ADHD treatment. This article has been viewed 19,375 times.
Co-authors: 8
Updated: July 6, 2021
Views: 19,375
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 19,375 times.
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