How to Obviously Flirt with a Girl

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1Making Boldly Flirtatious Comments

2Using Flirtatious Body Language

3Avoiding Common Mistakes

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Sometimes, you don't want to be subtle when expressing interest. If you're really into a girl, you can send this message very clearly with big, bold flirtatious gestures. Make your interest apparent by using comments and body language that convey your attraction. However, remember not to be too pushy. Some people may dislike bold flirtatious gestures. With a little courage and grace, however, you can let someone know you're interested via obvious flirting.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation. Check out the full interview here.

Steps

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Boldly Flirtatious Comments

1. 
   1
   Ask if she's single. One surefire way to show you're not just talking to her as a friend is to establish she's available. After striking up a conversation, ask her if she's single. If you want to be bold about it, just put the question out there by saying something like, "So, are you single?"

   • If you don't want to ask outright, try something like, "So, you definitely already have a boyfriend or girlfriend, right?"
2. 
   2
   Ask how she's still single. If you establish she's single, make it clear you think she's a catch. After she responds with a "Yes," say something like, "Really? How does someone like you stay single?"

   • You can also say something like, "Wow, it's my lucky day!" if she says she's single.
3. 
   3
   Compliment her appearance. Compliments, when dished out boldly enough, are bound to come off as flirty. A good way to start a flirtatious compliment is to start with, "Has anyone ever told you..." and then say something nice about how the girl looks.

   • For example, you can say something like, "Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?" or "Has anyone ever told you that your smile is intoxicating?"
4. 
   4
   Ask for a phone number. If you're asking for someone's phone number, this generally makes it clear you're interested. Do not beat around the bush if you want to flirt obviously. After paying her a few compliments, simply say, "Hey, could I get your number?"
5. 
   5
   Send flirty text messages. Once you have her number, you can use text messages to continue your obvious flirtation. Send her text messages with an obvious flirtatious tone throughout the day. For example, text something like, "Hey, I was just thinking about you, so I thought I'd text." You can also add a suggestive emoji, like a winking face, to make it clear that was meant flirtatiously.

   • When she texts you, respond in a flirty fashion. For example, if she sends you a picture of herself at the beach, say something like, "Wow! That's a hot swimsuit on you."
   • If she texts saying she's considering buying a red dress, say something like, "You would look hot in red..."
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Flirtatious Body Language

1. 
   1
   Maintain eye contact. Eye contact is a well known means of flirting. You can make eye contact when you're talking or hold her gaze from across the room. When holding her gave, you can do something like wink or smile and then look away. This sends the message she's welcome to come over and talk.
2. 
   2
   Flash her a big smile. Smiling is a great way to show this person makes you happy. When coupled with other flirtatious gestures, it can be used as a bold flirting tactic. When she's talking, flash her a winning smile throughout the conversation.
3. 
   3
   Make the first move to get closer to her. If you want to be bold, you have to be the one to take things to the next level. If you're making eye contact from across the room, for example, get out of your chair and walk over to her. If you're seated next to her, move your chair a little closer to her or lean forward slightly.
4. 
   4
   Touch her flirtatiously. A little touch can make it extra clear you're flirting. If she seems to be responsive to you, do something like gently brush her arm or put your hand on her knee. Being a little adventurous and initiating touch can send the message this interaction is meant to be flirtatious.
5. 
   5
   Mirror her body language. While this tactic is slightly less obvious, it can make flirtation apparent when paired with bolder gestures. People often subtly mimic body language when flirting, so doing this on your end to convey interest. If she touches her hair, for example, wait a few minutes and touch your own hair. If she uses her hands to gesticulate in a particular way, use your hands in a similar fashion.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Avoiding Common Mistakes

1. 
   1
   Don't get pushy. While it's okay to be bold, women will not take well to you being pushy. Pay attention to how she's responding. If she seems curt or closed off, back off. Continuing to flirt at this point will only bother her.

   • If a woman is not returning your gaze or smile and doing things like crossing her arms during conversation, she's not receptive to your flirting.
2. 
   2
   Watch her reactions closely when touching her. While touch is a great means of flirting, it's also a delicate matter. Everyone has their own space bubble and some women don't like to be touched right away. If she recoils from your touch, or gets quiet or uncomfortable afterwards, you have invaded her personal space. Go back to other flirtatious tactics and refrain from touching her again.
3. 
   3
   Avoid being too overt when complimenting her physical appearance. It's great to compliment a woman in a respectful fashion, but steer clear from saying anything that could come off as sleazy. Stick to complimenting things like her smile, laugh, and eyes, and avoid overtly talking about her body.

   • This is especially important if you don't know a woman. A woman may feel very uncomfortable if a strange guy is talking overtly about her body.
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Expert Q&A

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• Question

  What should I say to a girl if I'm trying to flirt with them?

  

  Connell Barrett
  Dating Coach

  Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

  

  Connell Barrett

  Dating Coach

  Expert Answer

  Start off with a fun, casual question or comment to get the conversation rolling. Then try giving her compliments and asking for her number if she seems interested in you.

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