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If you have a new baby girl, you probably want to start developing a strong mother-daughter bond from the very beginning. Follow these steps to help construct a loving, close-knit relationship with your daughter from infancy.
Steps
Breastfeed Your Daughter
Research indicates that women who breastfeed their infants release a chemical called oxytocin that produces loving emotions and helps women develop a strong bond with their babies. The chemical is released during birth and during skin contact with your baby, particularly during the act of nursing. If you cannot or choose not to breastfeed, try to spend plenty of time with skin-to-skin contact to get many of the same bonding benefits as you would by breastfeeding.
Begin nursing your daughter in the hospital. Women have the most success with breastfeeding when they try to start exclusively breastfeeding in the hospital.- If you would like assistance or tips to make it more comfortable and to make sure you are producing enough milk, ask for help from a nurse or breastfeeding counselor while you are in the hospital.
- Try to breastfeed for at least 6 months. The bonding benefits of breastfeeding continue as long as you keep nursing your baby.
- Consider nursing through her entire first year to maintain a routine of cuddling and holding your baby so that she associates you with food, comfort, safety, and love.
Advertisement - Consider nursing through her entire first year to maintain a routine of cuddling and holding your baby so that she associates you with food, comfort, safety, and love.
Develop a Mother-Daughter Routine
Most families fall into routines for sharing chores, childcare duties, and even extracurricular activities. If you are able, try carving out a few activities that you do with your daughter every day or every week, so that she grows accustomed to spending time with you for certain events.
Make grooming a mother-daughter experience. Share the bathing, hair combing, tooth brushing, dressing, and other grooming routines with your daughter.- Showing her how to care for herself and establishing a routine during which she can count on your personal attention teaches her from a young age that you are there to take care of her.
Let your daughter try to be like you. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, and it also indicates that your daughter is trying to learn her cues for behavior from you. If your daughter tries to mimic your body language, activities, or routines, invite her to participate and to learn from you. However, keep in mind that she is an individual. Encourage her to participate in activities with you, but let her explore her own interests.- Set good examples. If you have negative feelings toward your looks or body shape, you risk passing on these same issues to your daughter. Learn to embrace your size and your imperfections and teach her to love herself regardless of the often unrealistic media images presented on the "perfect body".
- Always talk to your daughter openly about body image issues. Be honest about your own feelings and avoid being judgmental of how she looks. If you find it hard to talk about, there are excellent resources available in books and online for helping you approach body image and related issues with your daughter.
Bring your daughter along for your favorite activities. If you love to jog, bring your daughter with you in a jogging stroller; if you love to shop, people-watch, garden, cook, or read, find ways to bring your daughter with you or help her to be a part of the action at your side.- Involve your daughter in chores early on, as a way to develop personal responsibility rather than enforcing an "expected role." If you have sons, include them as well, doing the same amount of chores, so that your daughter and sons learn that chores are the shared responsibility of all householder, to ensure the smooth running of a household.
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Show Your Daughter Affection
Part of building a strong mother-daughter bond is offering regular displays of affection. Making displays of love and affection a routine for your daughter helps promote love, loyalty, and a sense of safety and appreciation in your child. Incorporate small displays of affection into everything you do with your daughter.
Tell your daughter you love her often. Raising a daughter who is in no doubt of the fact that you love her accustoms her to a loving, supportive relationship with you; if she gets used to hearing and saying the words “I love you” from a young age, she will know that your love is one thing she never has to worry about losing.
Give your daughter physical tokens of affection. Especially while your daughter is an infant, cover her with kisses, embrace her on a regular basis, and incorporate cuddle time into your regular nap time routine. As she grows older, never stop hugging her, in both the good times and the bad. The power of touch remains important throughout your lives together.- These physical expressions of love not only teach your daughter how to show and accept affection, but they also accustom her to a relationship with her mother that values regular hugs and kisses.
- As a bonus, physical affection will release more oxytocin, cementing your mother-daughter bond with chemical reinforcement.
Listen and stay engaged. Your daughter will know the difference between attentive listening and making a pretense at listening. If you cannot set aside time to listen to something she has to say at a certain moment, suggest making a time when you will be free to sit down and talk, and then make good on that. Let her know that what she has to say is valued and that you will always make the time for her.Advertisement
One of the most crucial things you can do to develop a strong mother-daughter bond with your baby girl is to take time out to focus on her alone. As an infant, this could mean just spending time holding her on the back porch or reading her a story. As she grows, you can take the opportunity to take her out as an individual for mother-daughter days to the park, library, mall, theater, or for other special events.
Make your daughter feel special. Even if you have other children, it is essential to spend alone time with each child on a regular basis so that they know how much you value them as an individual.- Carve out time to play one-on-one with your baby girl however she likes, as often as possible, and treat her to little surprise kisses or signs of affection.
- As your daughter ages, take her on mother-daughter shopping days, haircut days, or other activities that allow the 2 of you to spend time in just each other’s company on a regular basis.
Share your life with her. When something good happens at work, dance with your daughter to celebrate. If someone passes away in the family, talk to your daughter and grieve with her.- Sharing your emotions and experiences with your daughter teachers her that you value her in good times and in bad, and shows her that your mother-daughter bond is strong enough to share in triumphs as well as in sorrows.
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Expert Q&A
Tips
- When you try something new with your daughter, try to show her that you value her opinion and let her know that you care about whether she is enjoying herself.Thanks
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