How to Nonverbally Flirt with a Girl

Explore this Article

parts

1Flirting Subtly

2Initiating Physical Contact

3Making Nonverbal Flirting Enjoyable

Other Sections

Expert Q&A

Tips and Warnings

Related Articles

References

While you might think flirting is all in what you say, you can capture someone's interest largely by your actions. Start by smiling and making great eye contact with her. If she appears comfortable with you, gently touch her arm or shoulder. Keep the flirting light and fun and don't forget to look for her cues.

Steps

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Flirting Subtly

1. 
   1
   Smile at her. Smiling can be very flirty and let her know that you're interested. Smiling is a way to appear open. If you smile, she's more likely to mirror you and smile back.

   • A flirtatious smile might make eye contact or look at the girl, then look away while still smiling.
2. 
   2
   Let your gaze linger. If you're interacting with a girl, make sure she sees your eyes. Even if you're across the room, locking eyes with a girl can show her you're interested. Make eye contact slightly longer than you would with someone else. If she returns your gaze, it's likely that she's interested.

   • Just don't make eye contact for too long. She might start to feel threatened. Aim for 1 to 2 seconds.
   Advertisement
3. 
   3
   Draw attention to your own body. Once you've shown interest by smiling and making eye contact, draw attention to your own body. Bring attention to your lips by licking them. If you have long hair, touch your hair or flip it.

   • You can follow these actions up by making eye contact once again or smiling flirtatiously.
4. 
   4
   Say less and gesture more. Let your words take a backseat and focus on saying what you can with your body. Instead of saying, “Hello!” or, “How are you?” try waving or motioning her over and greeting her with a smile when she comes. Think about when you can use a gesture to replace your words.

   • For example, instead of saying, “Come sit with me,” motion for her to come sit next to you.
5. 
   5
   Appear open with your posture. Uncross your arms, legs, ankles, or any other part of your body. When you cross your body, it appears as if you're closed off. When you're flirting with a girl, you want to appear open and maybe even playful. Stand close to her and lean in while she speaks.

   • If you're not sure how to sit or stand, try to mirror her posture to make her feel more comfortable.
6. 
   6
   Be courteous. Don't forget to do small gestures for her. Get the door for her and pull out her chair when she sits down. If it's raining, offer your umbrella or jacket. These small gestures show caring and will alert her that you're thinking about her and her comfort. She will likely be impressed by your thoughtfulness.

   • If you're at a restaurant or the movies, be courteous to those around you. Treat the wait staff kindly at restaurants and offer your bus seat to an older person. This will show her that you're kind and considerate to those around you, too.
   Advertisement

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Initiating Physical Contact

1. 
   1
   Gently touch her. A small or gentle touch can show connection. Lay your hand briefly on her shoulder, touch her arm, or feel her hair. If you want to get her attention, lightly brush your hand against her arm. Touch her arm first, as this is less threatening than touching her hand or leg.

   • Read her cues and don't touch her if she appears uncomfortable.
2. 
   2
   Give her a great hug. Whether you're greeting hello or saying goodbye, give her a hug. Make sure you're hugging for the right amount of time. Too long and she might feel uncomfortable, too short and she might feel put-off. Hug for more than one second, but don't exceed five seconds.

   • Ask her, “Can I hug you?”
   • Give her a real hug, not a side hug.
   • Avoid patting her back. You pat a friend's back, not the girl you're interested in.
3. 
   3
   Encourage physical contact. Encourage situations that allow for mutual touching. For example, initiate a thumb war. This is playful and allows you both to touch each other. Get creative in ways to make contact do that she wants to touch you, too.

   • Give her the opportunity to touch you, too. For example, give her your hand if she's walking down the stairs.
   Advertisement

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making Nonverbal Flirting Enjoyable

1. 
   1
   Be playful. Playfulness is fun and flirty. Do things that are silly and make both of you laugh. Play fight, dance or sing to music, and make silly faces at each other. Playfulness can show her that you're lighthearted and can also be flirty to show her you're interested.

   • Be playful in potentially conflicting or uncomfortable situations. Your playfulness can help put her at ease and make her laugh.
2. 
   2
   Play off of each other. If she's flirting with you, flirt back. If she touches you, touch her gently. If she's being silly, be silly with her. Take opportunities for fun and flirting and make them even more enjoyable.

   • For example, if you're eating and she drops some food on her lap, drop some on yourself and be silly about it.
3. 
   3
   Flirt in the right context. The more social the surroundings, the better luck you will have. If you're looking to flirt with a girl, aim to be in a social place, like a birthday party or barbeque where it's easy to talk to people. It may be more difficult to flirt at a more formal event (like an awards dinner).

   • Find someone you have things in common with and bond over this similarity.
4. 
   4
   Have fun. Flirting should be fun, not strenuous or difficult. While it can take time to build your skills, be patient and do the best you can. If you're not having fun with flirting, try something different. Ideally, the fun will increase if she flirts back with you.

   • If you're trying hard and she's not reciprocating, she may not be into you.
   Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

• Question

  How can I impress a girl I like?

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Expert Answer

  Use your body language to get her attention. To impress a woman without saying anything, keep your back straight and your shoulders squared to indicate dominance, confidence, and approachability. Smile at her to show her you're interested, and gaze into her eyes briefly. Speak at a regular pace in an assured, deep tone, and be confident and patient, rather than desperate.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If How.com.vn has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support How.com.vn

  YesNo

  Not Helpful 0Helpful 0

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Advertisement

Tips

• Be cautious in who you interact and flirt with. Some people don't appreciate being touched, looked at, or hugged, so use some discretion.
  Thanks

  Helpful0Not Helpful0

Advertisement