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This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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More and more people are living alone today--an estimated 1 in 4 people in the United States are making a home on their own.[1] There are lots of advantages to living alone--no one to fight for the remote, no one to judge you if you want to eat a baloney sandwich in your underwear in the middle of the night--but it can also get lonely when there's no one to come home to. Keep reading to learn how to make the most of living solo.
Steps
Part 1
Part 1 of 2:
Taking Care of Yourself
Engage with the world. It's too easy to isolate and let negative thoughts run wild, so you need to make the effort, no matter how small, not to cut yourself off from the outside world.[2] Say hello to your neighbors and learn their names. Open your windows and let the light in. Go outside and hang out at a park or a new coffee shop. Don't let your apartment become your entire world.- Make sure you are spending time with friends. Set up a book or dinner club so you know you'll have that weekly interaction with other people.[3]
- If you don't know anyone in your area, it is vital you make an effort to meet people. If you're into climbing, go to the climbing gym or join a meet up.
Get to know yourself. Living alone gives you plenty of time to explore what makes you tick. Meditate, journal, and experiment with what makes you happy.[4] Learning your unique strengths and applying them to something greater than yourself (using your amazing carpentry skills to help out Habitat for Humanity, for instance) is shown to improve happiness.[5]- Learn what triggers feelings of loneliness. Think about times when loneliness hits you hardest and then make a plan to counter it.[6] Do you feel really bummed when you return to an empty apartment after work or school? Schedule an activity, like going to a Zumba class, that gives you just enough time to get home, change, and head out the door again.
- Figure out the best parts of living alone, whether it's drinking straight from the carton, cleaning in your underwear, or peeing with the bathroom door wide open, and indulge.[7]
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Adopt a pet. Bringing a furry friend home can relieve the loneliness you may experience living alone. Pets fulfill our natural need for touch and companionship, which can help you manage stress.[8]- Studies show that people with pets are healthier and live longer lives. Having a pet can actually lower your blood pressure.[9]
- Pets can help give your day-to-day life structure: they must be fed on time, walked, and cared for. This can help you get out of your own head and think about the needs of your pet.[10]
- A pet that needs exercise, like a dog, can get you up and moving, improving your own physical health in the process.[11]
- Remember that a pet is a long-term commitment, so make sure you choose an animal that fits with your lifestyle. If you're gone most of the day, a dog might not be the best fit. A cat, rabbit, or reptile might be a better choice.
Practice self-discipline. Sure, one of the best things about living alone is that you can wear your sweatpants and ratty t-shirt all day without judgement. But if you slip into a state of apathy and don't practice self-care--if you stop showering, getting dressed, exercising, or eat too much or too little--you can quickly spiral into depression. It's up to you to hold yourself accountable for these things.[12]- Force yourself to get up and get dressed every day, even if you don't plan on going anywhere. Even minimal effort can make a difference when combatting loneliness.
- People who make their bed every morning are often more productive, self-disciplined, and feel better about themselves. It's a great way to start your day off on a good foot.[13]
- This also means you need to control your vices. If you know you can't buy a bottle of wine without drinking the entire thing, then maybe leave it on the shelf or buy something that comes in a small bottle.[14]
Have a plan for when you get sick. Coming down with the flu when there's not a roommate, spouse, or family member to help take care of you or run to the pharmacy can be a major downside to living alone.[15] Think ahead and keep your medicine cabinet well-stocked with a thermometer, fever and pain relievers (like ibuprofen), nasal decongestant, and cough syrup.[16]- Have first aid essentials on hand as well, like antibiotic ointment, gauze and band-aids, rubbing alcohol, and pain relievers.[17]
- This is another reason to get to know your neighbors--if you're really sick, you can reach out to them to pick up your medication or bring you fluids and chicken noodle soup.
Learn to cook for one. There are tons of cookbooks and websites devoted to learning how to make delicious, dynamic meals for a household of one. You don't need to live off the same meal for five days in a row, nor do you need to get takeout each and every night.[18]- Learn to use your leftovers in creative ways. Turn leftover steak into tacos with some lime, salsa and tortillas, or throw your leftover veggies in with some pasta for an entirely new dish.[19]
- Plan your meals at the beginning of the week to make shopping easier. Knowing how you are going to use your food and how much you need will cut down on waste.[20]
Know it's not forever. Just because you're alone now, or have been for a while, it doesn't mean that you always will be. Learning how to make yourself happy, to feel whole and fulfilled on your own, can make you more successful in making and maintaining friendships and relationships.[21]Advertisement
Part 2
Part 2 of 2:
Taking Care of Your Home
Schedule time to clean. It can be easy to let things go when you live alone, whether it's because you assume no one will see the mess or you don't have a partner with whom to split the chores. But a messy living space invites pests and could lead to damage that can become costly to fix later or even cause to you lose your deposit. Schedule small chores throughout the week so they don't build up and overwhelm your weekend. Picking up a little every day will also get you in the habit of maintaining a clean home.[22]- Start with the bathroom. When mold, toilet stains, and mildew build up, they become more difficult to remove with each passing day (not to mention, it's really gross). If you regularly use a little shower spray and toilet bowl cleaner, you will save yourself from a lot of hard work trying to scrub out that black grime between your tiles later.[23]
- Hire a cleaning company if you feel overwhelmed. Let the professionals do a deep-clean of your home. Then cleaning will be more an issue of maintaining your environment rather than tackling a huge project.[24]
- Clutter also has a detrimental affect on your mental well-being. It is an instant source of major stress and can compound the effects of depression and grief. It can even be linked to unhealthy weight-gain.[25] Keeping things clean will help keep you happy.
Decorate your home to your taste. Your environment has a direct impact on your wellbeing, so taking the time to make your home a place you truly enjoy and feel comfortable.[26]Go ahead and paint a purple accent wall, hang that weird painting, or make it ultra-mod. Whatever makes you feel good. Bonus: You don't have to compromise and accommodate someone else's creepy doll collection.- If you splurge on a heavy item or decide you want to move your massive dresser across the room, don't injure yourself trying to do it alone. Break down the furniture as much as you can (remove drawers and legs). Don't be afraid to ask for help if something is just too heavy, even if you need to hire some help.[27]
- Don't forget to personalize any outside areas you may have, too. Maintaining a yard, starting a garden, or even putting a pot of flowers out on a small patio can all help make the outside of your home feel as special to you as the inside.
Install a safety system. To take care of your valuable items as well as yourself (not just your physical well-being if someone were to break in, but your mental health so you don't worry about it a burglar), take precautions like investing in strong door and window locks. Consider installing a security system (check in with your landlord first if you live in an apartment) if you are really nervous about a break-in. Many wireless systems are even DIY and can be brought with you when you move.[28]- If you decide to get a dog for companionship, she can also provide a great service as a watch dog. You don't need a great-big dog, either--sometimes the smallest pups are the loudest. The noise can be enough to deter someone from breaking in.[29]
- Getting to know your neighbors will also help--if they see someone unfamiliar sniffing around your house, they can give you (or the police) a heads up. Or you can arrange to check in on each other if one of you is suspiciously quiet.[30]
Make a plan to deal with repairmen. If you have a plumbing issue and don't work from home, it might be a challenge to schedule a repair. Try to schedule an appointment for either the first or last slot of the day so you may not have to miss work. If you trust your landlord, he or she might be willing to meet the repairman on site, so you don't have to be at home.[31]- Ask people you trust including any local family and friends as well as your neighbors for recommendations and contact info for repairmen they have worked with in the past.
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Tips
- If you travel frequently or have friends and family far away, set up a plan for someone to watch your house. They can check your mail, water your plants, and help take care of things in your home while you are away.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/23/garden/the-freedom-and-perils-of-living-alone.html
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-live-alone-without-feeling-lonely-217427
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-live-alone-without-feeling-lonely-217427
- ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-be-single-2015-4
- ↑ http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/strengths-and-virtues/
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-live-alone-without-feeling-lonely-217427
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-live-alone-without-feeling-lonely-217427
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/the-health-benefits-of-pets.htm
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/the-health-benefits-of-pets.htm
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/the-health-benefits-of-pets.htm
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/the-health-benefits-of-pets.htm
- ↑ http://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/2012/03/29/how-to-live-alone-without-being-lonely
- ↑ http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/cleaning/tips/a25816/reasons-to-make-your-bed/
- ↑ http://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/2012/03/29/how-to-live-alone-without-being-lonely
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/5-problems-you-only-face-while-living-alone-and-how-to-deal-with-them-205760
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/features/flu-survival-kit
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/first-aid/first-aid-kits/basics/art-20056673
- ↑ http://www.thekitchn.com/more-tips-on-cooking-for-one-tips-from-the-kitchn-204968
- ↑ http://www.thekitchn.com/more-tips-on-cooking-for-one-tips-from-the-kitchn-204968
- ↑ http://www.thekitchn.com/more-tips-on-cooking-for-one-tips-from-the-kitchn-204968
- ↑ http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/bul/131/6/803/
- ↑ http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/apartment-cleaning.html
- ↑ http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/apartment-cleaning.html
- ↑ http://ohmyapt.apartmentratings.com/apartment-cleaning.html
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/01/health/01well.html?_r=0
- ↑ http://www.academia.edu/471564/The_effect_of_the_physical_environment_on_mental_wellbeing
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/5-problems-you-only-face-while-living-alone-and-how-to-deal-with-them-205760
- ↑ http://www.safewise.com/home-security-faq/security-for-renters
- ↑ http://www.safewise.com/blog/5-tips-discourage-burglars-targeting-home/
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/5-problems-you-only-face-while-living-alone-and-how-to-deal-with-them-205760
- ↑ http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/5-problems-you-only-face-while-living-alone-and-how-to-deal-with-them-205760
About this article
Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 599,020 times.
Co-authors: 28
Updated: May 5, 2021
Views: 599,020
Article SummaryX
To live alone happily, start meditating or writing a journal so you're more in tune with your feelings. You can also decorate your apartment with furniture and fittings to suit your personal taste. Additionally, try getting a pet for some company and to reduce stress. Once you've settled in, practice self-discipline so you stay productive, such as by forcing yourself to get dressed and making your bed, even if you're not going anywhere. Over the longer term, remember to spend time with your friends or family so you don't start feeling isolated. For tips on how to decorate your home to your taste and how to make a plan for when you're sick, read on!
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 599,020 times.
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"At 63 years old, I have never lived alone, and never desired to, however I am at a point when I am single, the children are grown and married and out on their own. I find myself living alone, and just happen to be 3 weeks recovering from cancer surgery with no help. The articles I read were useful, but have to be put into practice to work. Thank you for the insight. I think they will be very helpful. "..." more
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