How to Leave the Mormon Church Gracefully

Leaving a church that has played a large role in your life is no small thing. If you are married or have a family that still attends, it may be extremely difficult for you to resign. In the end, the decision is yours. Use this article to help you make the right decision.

Steps

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If you're certain that you'll never want to re-join the church, write a letter to your ward or branch's bishop and request to have your name removed from church records.^{[1]XResearch source} If you think you might want to come back, or if you don't feel like contacting your bishop, you can simply disassociate from the church without any paperwork.
Make sure you want to do this permanently. Some find it helpful to consider why they joined the church in the first place, and to think about whether the initial promises (community, joy, refuge, etc.) were fulfilled for them.
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Many people find answers to questions or doubts, but many more people find additional questions and doubts through research. Read the Book of Mormon if you haven't. That will give you huge insights into the core beliefs of the church. If you have a concern with the church, you could search for a resolving answer and see if there is one.
They can support you as you try to figure things out. Many find it helpful to have a support network as they make big decisions.
However, if you would like to, simply mention one of the reasons you listed earlier. There is no need to create an argument or hostile atmosphere. Those who care about you can hold a polite conversation about it, and those who don't care about you aren't worth talking to. ^{[2]XResearch source}
The church hosts a wide variety of activities. You should not feel pressured to continue going to these even if you have friends who do. If it is something you enjoy and want to attend, go. If not, don't.
Tell those who ask about you that you appreciate their concern and that you are searching your heart to make decisions that are right for you. Be friendly, but firm about what's in your heart.^{[3]XResearch source}
Talk to friends about your feelings if you're feeling guilty, betrayed, or otherwise upset. Ask yourself why you feel that way. Search for ways to enhance and grow your life.^{[4]XResearch source}
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If you made a final decision, write a letter to Church Records. Make sure to include your full name, your date of birth, your current address, and today’s date. Address your letter to: Member Records Division, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 50 E North Temple Room 1372, Salt Lake City UT 84150-5310. Or, you can just e-mail the records division here: [email protected]. You do not need to address it to the Bishop of your ward, no matter what church headquarters says. Salt Lake may well refer you back to your bishop, but you can ignore that. They will try to get you to jump through their hoops, but there is no legal requirement that you do so. An example letter is written below:^{[5]XResearch source}
- This letter is my formal resignation, effective immediately, from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs, and 'discipline'. As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently removed from the membership rolls of the church.
  I have given this matter considerable thought. I understand the 'seriousness' and 'consequences of my actions. I am aware that the church handbook says that my resignation "cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings". I also understand that I will be "readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview". (Church Handbook of Instructions)
  My resignation should be processed immediately, without any 'waiting periods'. I have made up my mind and cannot be dissuaded. I expect my request to be handled promptly, respectfully, and with confidentiality.
  Sincerely, your signature followed by your printed name.

Community Q&A

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Question
They pressured me into admitting that the reason I was leaving the church was due to my devoted love for Jesus. Now all my friends from the church who had no problem with me leaving now hate me. How do I fix it?
Community Answer
If you believe so strongly about Jesus, it doesn't matter about what other people think! It may be hard trying to explain to your friends, but if they where your real friends, they will accept you for whatever religion you are a part of. Be strong in the Lord.
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Is it better to write or type the letter?
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I think it would be better to write the letter yourself, but either method would be fine.
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I sent the letter you refer to above. In response, I received a letter from the Membership Records Division telling me it was an ecclesiastical matter and that I had to contact the local Branch President/Bishop, what do I do?
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Community Answer
That is a standard response to your resignation. Your bishop or stake presidents will probably try to contact you to make sure that you want to resign. You don't have to meet with them to have your resignation go through. In 1-2 months, you should get a final letter telling you that your names have been removed from the records of the church. If you don't get a final letter, you might want to resign again with quitmormon.com. That site is run by a lawyer who helps people resign for free.
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Tips

If making a permanent change sounds daunting, that's okay! You can stop attending church and following the doctrine without formally resigning.
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Warnings

People from church may occasionally try to reestablish contact with you over the years. If they do, be polite but express your disinterest. They are doing it with good intentions. You can be firm while not being rude. Friendships may certainly continue even if you are not of the same faith anymore.
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Make sure your decision is just that, yours. You shouldn't let your family or friends make this decision for you. Your family should have more love for you (the person). And even if they don't love you or respect your decision, it is ultimately nobody's decision but yours.
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Mormons often say that people leave the church due to being offended by members although the doctrine is sound. A common phrase is "The church may be true, even though the people are not." Be prepared to hear this.
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