How to Know if You Talk About Your Relationship Too Much

When you are in a relationship, it is natural that you will talk about it with others and that you will share stories that contain your partner. However, there is a limit to how much you should share and how often you should talk about your partner. To know if you are talking about your partner too much, you should think about how others react to your stories, evaluate your stories and social media posts, talk to your partner, and ask yourself honestly how often you are talking about your relationship.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Evaluating Your Interactions With Others

1
Ask others if you talk about your relationship too much. If you honestly don’t know if you talk about your relationship too much, ask those closest to you. Ask your friends, family, coworkers, or partner. If they answer yes, then you will know if you talk about the relationship too much.
- You may say to others, “Please be honest. I want to know if I talk about my relationship too much. Do you think I do that?”
- Don’t get defensive if they answer yes. Remember, you are trying to figure out if you do this.
2
Pay attention to how others react when you talk about the relationship. If you talk too much about your relationship, the people in your life will let you know. They will make comments about how much you talk about the relationship or share, or they will act bored or leave if you start talking about it.
- Watch how people react when you start talking about your relationship. If they seem less than interested, you may talk about it too much.
3
Evaluate your social media posts. One way you can find out if you talk about your relationship too much is to take a look at your social media accounts. Read your recent posts on Facebook or Twitter, and look at your recent photos on Instagram and Snapchat. If most of your posts are about your relationship and your significant other, you probably talk about it too much.
- There isn’t anything wrong with sharing photos of you and your partner or making an update about them. However, if your entire social media account is about your relationship, you are talking about it too much.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Assessing Your Behavior

1
Evaluate the content of what you say. There are some things that are acceptable to talk about regarding your relationship. However, there are some things you shouldn’t talk about. Personal details about your partner, intimate details, and information about conflicts are things that should not be discussed with anyone but a few close, trusted friends - if at all.
- Sharing too many details of your relationship can cause problems with you and your partner. It can also make others uncomfortable and reflect badly on you.
2
Decide if you talk about your relationship for attention. Talking about your relationship isn’t a bad thing, and talking to your friends or family during a hard time is fine. However, sometimes people talk about their relationship just to get attention. Honestly look at your reasons for talking about your relationship.
- Are you sharing things about your relationship as a funny story, to feel better about yourself, or to get people to sympathize with you? These may be indications that you talk about your relationship too much and for the wrong reasons.
3
Ask yourself if you should share what you do. Another way to decide if you talk about your relationship too much is to evaluate everything you say about it. Are you sharing interesting and important details, or are you just talking about your relationship for no reason? Are you sharing personal or intimate details you shouldn’t? Be honest as you assess what you say.
- Remember, just because you think it’s interesting doesn’t mean everyone will. Are you sharing things that deserve to be talked about?
- Try making a list of topics you think are OK to talk about with others, and those you should only address with your significant other. Continue to add to this over time.
4
Assess how often you talk about your relationship. Figure out how often you talk about your relationship. Do you do it every day? Do you find a way to bring your relationship into each conversation? Taking an honest assessment of how often you bring it up can help get a clear picture.
- If you can’t remember how often you talk about it, you can start paying attention to how often you bring it up or want to bring it up.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Considering Your Partner’s Boundaries

1
Ask your partner if they are comfortable with how much you talk about the relationship. Your partner can be a good gauge for how much you talk about your relationship. Find out if your partner is uncomfortable with how much you talk about the relationship and how much information you share. If they want you to hold back more, you probably are sharing too much.
- If your partner is a private person, talking about the relationship with people can make them uncomfortable. They may think that anything you say about the relationship is talking too much about it.
2
Discuss how much is appropriate to share with your partner. If you talk too much about your relationship, you should talk with your partner about it. Together, set boundaries about what is acceptable to talk about and how much is acceptable.
- Tell your partner, “I think I have been talking too much about our relationship. I want to set boundaries about what we feel comfortable sharing and how often we feel comfortable talking about our relationship.”
3
Admit if you are sharing things said in confidence. Even if you are sharing with your closest friends, telling them something that your partner told you in confidence is not right. This is considered talking too much about your relationship because you are sharing things that should remain private between you and your partner.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Trust is key to your relationship. By telling others things that were told to you in private, you are violating your partner’s trust. All problem solving should also happen between you and your partner, not between you and your friends or family.
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Expert Q&A

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Question
What is an unhealthy relationship?
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Expert Answer
An unhealthy relationship is one in which your needs are repeatedly not met, your opinions are not taken into account or valued, or you are mistreated or berated. A solid relationship should consist of a lot of give and take.
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Question
How long does a long distance relationship last?
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Expert Answer
A long distance relationship can last as long as both parties are willing to work on it and make the necessary accommodations to see one another with a regular frequency. Often it is a temporary circumstance like serving in the military, attending college, or having a short-term out of state assignment for work.
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Question
What is the difference between dating and in a relationship?
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Expert Answer
Dating is usually more casual than being in a relationship. Dating often can consist of just spending a few hours at a time together. When dating, both parties often also see others as well. When in a relationship, there is a certain level of commitment, and a regularity and predictability to seeing one another. Often a relationship is monogamous.
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