How to Know What Your Lesbian Label Is

Are you someone who just discovered that they are lesbian? If you are, and you did some research, you might've heard of these confusing things called labels--you probably even want know what label to categorize yourself as (if you wish to do so). This article will give some advice and show you different types of labels.

Section 1 of 2:

Understanding Labels

  1. How.com.vn English: Step 1 Understand the many labels that exist in parts of the greater lesbian community.
    Labels include: butch, stud, femme, stem, and so on. Note that some lesbians might find labels offensive, arguing that someone cannot only fit into one category, but labels are an easy way to identify yourself and potentially find others like you.
    • Remember you can label yourself whatever you like, but other's may describe you differently or, apply the same label to themselves that you use, and be nothing like you. It's all open to individual interpretation.
  2. How.com.vn English: Step 2 Be aware that labels are usually categorized by outer appearance.
    Before you choose your label, think of your sense of fashion. If your style is traditionally a boy's style, you're probably androgynous. Whereas if you have the fashion sense of the traditional female, you're most likely feminine. If you're feminine sometimes and androgynous the rest of the time,  you could be mixed.
  3. How.com.vn English: Step 3 Consider how you see yourself.
    Labels aren't only for appearance, but how you view yourself as a person. Your mentality and appearance could be total opposites, such as an androgynous of someone that was feminine, a person like this would be a soft stud. There are many labels that blend appearances and mentalities, such as: soft stud snd aggressive femme. These labels mean that an androgynous could act feminine or a feminine female act masculine.
  4. How.com.vn English: Step 4 Expect that no matter what label you identify as, there will always be criticism.
    Femmes are often told "you're too pretty to be gay," whereas studs might be asked "you're a girl, why are you dressing like a guy?" and studs might be mistaken as black men.
  5. How.com.vn English: Step 5 Identify with whatever suits you.
    Lastly, some might say labels are overrated, whereas some might disagree. Labels are meant to be determined by you and only you. You are your own label: androgynous, feminine, mixed, or no label--you are you. Society, nor a label can create who you are, so be yourself.
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Section 2 of 2:

Different Types of Lesbian Labels

  1. How.com.vn English: Step 1 Butch lesbian.
    Butch lesbian is one of the most common stereotypes of lesbians, however, many lesbians still identify as butch in the modern day. A butch lesbian:
    • Wears masculine clothing
    • Typically has short hair (which can be dyed)
    • Exhibits masculine mannerisms
    • "Tops" during sex
    • Some butches identify as nonbinary
  2. How.com.vn English: Nonbinary Lesbian.png
    2
    Nonbinary lesbian. This label pretty much speaks for itself. It's widely believed that lesbians are women who like women, however, a lesbian can be genderfluid, nonbinary, or another trans identity. A nonbinary lesbian can have any traits.
  3. How.com.vn English: Step 3 Femme/lipstick lesbian.
    On the start of the lesbian spectrum, there is the femme lesbian. A femme lesbian:
    • Typically has long hair or a feminine hairstyle
    • Uses makeup often
    • Wears traditionally feminine clothing
    • "Bottoms" during sex; some femmes are a top
  4. How.com.vn English: Step 4 Dyke lesbian.
    This is a controversial term, since the word "dyke" is more commonly used as a slur towards lesbians. However, many lesbians have reclaimed the word and wear it with pride. A dyke lesbian is pretty much the same as a butch lesbian, with traits including:
    • Wearing masculine clothing
    • Typically having short hair
    • Exhibiting masculine mannerisms
    • "Topping" during sex
    • Some butches identify as nonbinary
  5. How.com.vn English: Step 5 Boi lesbian.
    A boi lesbian is a lesser known type of lesbian with these traits:[1]
    • Being young (typically under 25)
    • Wearing masculine clothing
    • Exhibiting masculine mannerisms
    • Boi lesbian is typically used among people of color since it originates from African American/Black culture.
  6. How.com.vn English: Step 6 Stem lesbian.
    A lesbian who is a femme and a stud, who is either nonbinary or cisgender. This is a term for lesbians of color, and shouldn't be used by white folks. A stem is a Black or Latinx lesbian who:[2]
    • Leans towards a feminine clothing style
    • Likes self-care and is hygienic
    • Enjoys wearing makeup
    • Typically has short hair but a feminine hairstyle
    • Is a "switch" during sex
    • Can be nonbinary or cisgender
  7. How.com.vn English: Stud Lesbian.png
    7
    Stud lesbian. A stud lesbian is a butch lesbian who is Black, Latinx, or a person of color. This is a term for lesbians of color, and shouldn't be used by white folks. A stud lesbian:[3]
    • Wears masculine clothing
    • Typically has short hair
    • Exhibits masculine mannerisms
    • "Tops" during sex
    • Can be nonbinary or cisgender
  8. How.com.vn English: Chapstick Lesbian.png
    8
    Chapstick lesbian. A chapstick lesbian is a lesbian that doesn't identify as a butch lesbian or a femme lesbian--a lesbian who is somewhere in-between the two. A chapstick, or futch lesbian:[4]
    • Has a masculine leaning or androgynous clothing style
    • Typically has short hair
    • Rarely wears makeup
    • Hygienic and cleanly
    • Is sporty
  9. How.com.vn English: Step 9 Androgynous lesbian.
    Some lesbians are very feminine, and some are very masculine. Some are a mix of both, also known as androgynous. An androgynous style and lesbian identity combined makes an androgynous lesbian. An androgynous lesbian can have any traits, as long as they have androgynous clothing style.[5]
  10. How.com.vn English: Step 10 Fish lesbian.
    A lesbian, feminine, Black or Latinx person. A fish lesbian is the opposite of a stud lesbian. This is a term for lesbians of color, and shouldn't be used by white folks. A fish lesbian:
    • Exhibits feminine mannerisms
    • Typically has long hair or a feminine hairstyle
    • Uses makeup often
    • Wears traditionally feminine clothing
    • Likely "bottoms" during sex; but some fishes are a top
    • Can be nonbinary or cisgender
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What's the definition of a kiki lesbian?
    How.com.vn English: Community Answer
    Community Answer
    This is 1940s slang for a lesbian comfortable with either a passive or aggressive partner.
  • Question
    I want to be butch, but I like my boobs. What should I do?
    How.com.vn English: Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Butch is more about how you act rather than how you look. You can keep your boobs and still be a strong, butch woman.
  • Question
    What does it mean to a be a futch lesbian? I've never heard of that before.
    How.com.vn English: Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Futch is a term that means mostly butch, but a little feminine (f+utch).
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      Tips

      • A no label is a lesbian that doesn't define themselves with a label. No labels commonly feel as if labels are meant to have things as "black and white", therefore they choose not to be categorized.
      • Don't change who you are, you should never force yourself to fit a label, because your label should fit you.
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      Warnings

      • Labels are not specifically one thing, every label can be interpreted as something different by different people.
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      How.com.vn is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 15 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 16,256 times.
      27 votes - 81%
      Co-authors: 15
      Updated: August 6, 2022
      Views: 16,256
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