How to Keep the Passion in a Long Distance Relationship

Explore this Article

methods

1Increasing the Sexual Tension

2Spending Time Together

3Including Your Partner in Your Life

Other Sections

Expert Q&A

Related Articles

References

Long distance relationships are tough, but technology has made them much easier to maintain. You can text, call, send photos, play games, and chat with each other daily. However, maintaining passion can be difficult when you are not physically together. To help keep the passion in your long distance relationship, work to keep the sexual tension by flirting through text and creating intimacy through video chatting. You should also go out of your way to include your partner in your life and make time devoted to spending time together and virtual dates.

Steps

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Increasing the Sexual Tension

1. 
   1
   Send flirty texts. The lack of physical intimacy can be difficult to deal with when in a long distance relationship. Try sending each other flirty messages during the day. These texts should be light, playful, and fun. You may even send sexual innuendos or suggestive comments to intrigue your partner.

   • For example, you may say, “I’m wearing your t-shirt, and it smells like you” or “I can still smell your perfume on my pillow.” Try, “I miss waking up next to you” or “I’m imagining you cuddling with me on this cold night.”
   • Choose a time when you know your partner can fully enjoy the text. For example, don’t send them a flirty text when you know they’re in an important meeting.
   • You might send them flirty texts when they’re having a bad day to make them feel better.
   • You can also attach pictures to the text to add a more personal touch to the flirty text.
2. 
   2
   Engage in phone or video sex. You can spice up your long distance relationship and have a passionate night by sexting or having phone or video sex. This allows you both to engage in sexual activities together, despite the distance between you.

   • Try engaging in sexual activity in different ways. Sexting can help both of you anticipate being together later, while phone sex and sex via video chatting can help you both feel closer.
   • Talk to one another during the act, and consider using toys to enhance both of your pleasure.
   • Be very careful about sending intimate pictures and videos. You never know where the pictures and videos might end up. Make sure that you only send pictures or videos to someone you trust completely and know very well. Do not send pictures to someone who you have only known for a short time or who you are not completely sure you can trust.
3. 
   3
   Write out fantasies for each other. One way to drum up some passion between the two of you is to exchange fantasies. Since you’re not together, make it even more special by writing them down. Try texting each other sexy ideas that you’d like to try together. Spend some time writing out your fantasies in as much detail as possible in a letter.

   • Be creative and make it a story featuring the two of you.
   • Include things you can do on the phone or video chatting while apart. This can make the fantasies more immediate and fulfilling.
4. 
   4
   Leave sexy notes around their house. When you visit, take some time to hide some sexy and flirty notes around their house before you leave. Put them in places they will find, but not right away. This is a way to surprise your partner with something flirty, romantic, or sexy.

   • You can place notes in books, drawers, under pillows, in the bathroom, in cabinets, or anywhere else they may see it.
   • If your partner shares living space with someone, make sure to put the notes in places only they will see.
5. 
   5
   Talk about what you are going to do when you see each other. Anticipating seeing each other can help create passion for your relationship. Instead of focusing on missing each other, focus on what you want to do to each other, but romantically and sexually. This can create some excitement for your next visit.

   • This can help create some sexual tension in the relationship. Talk about things you think about doing to each other, new ideas you have to try, and what you miss the most about the other person.
   Advertisement

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Spending Time Together

1. 
   1
   Make video chatting a priority. Many people use text messaging as a primary source of communication. However, this is not the best way to keep the passion and intimacy strong in your relationship. Choose a few times throughout the week to get together and video chat.

   • Video chatting allows you both to see each other’s face, which is important when trying to maintain passion.
   • During video chat, you can have a smooth, immediate conversation, which you can’t do on text. Video chat allows you to watch each other’s facial expressions, unlike talking on the phone.
2. 
   2
   Go on a movie date. Being unable to have regular date night can be tough when you’re in a long distance relationship. To help, go on a movie date together. Choose a favorite movie or a movie you’ve both never seen. Curl up on the couch and watch the movie together.

   • You can do this while talking on the phone, texting, or video chatting. You can pause the movie to discuss it, or exchange little comments throughout the movie.
   • Make sure to choose a time where you both will have time to watch the movie and won’t be disturbed by others.
3. 
   3
   Schedule weekly meals together. Just because you are far apart doesn’t mean you still can’t do the same things you usually do. Technology allows you to do almost anything you’d normally do when apart. Set up video chat, cook a meal together, and then sit down to eat it together.

   • You can also get take out from the same type of restaurant and eat together as you catch up.
4. 
   4
   Make surprise visits to each other. You probably already schedule as many visits to see each other as possible. Consider making a surprise visit to give you both an unexpected, spontaneous romantic surprise. Schedule the visit at a time you know your partner won’t have something pressing to do.

   • You may casually ask your partner what their week looks like to make sure there are no meetings, big projects, or other commitments you’ll interfere with.
   • Think about letting them know about the surprise a few days ahead of time. This helps it stay a surprise, but allows your partner time to make arrangements.
   Advertisement

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Including Your Partner in Your Life

1. 
   1
   Send your partner texts when you go out. It’s easy to feel left out when your partner is somewhere else, living a life you can’t be part of. You and your partner will have friends and experiences the other can’t be part of. To help keep them feel included and connected, send them texts and photos throughout your night so they know you are thinking of them and can almost feel like they’re there.

   • This is especially important if you are posting photos to Instagram, Snapchat, or other social media. If you have time to update social media, you have time to send a text to your partner.
   • Send a special photo you haven’t posted on social media, and include a message like, “I miss you” or “Wish you were here with me!”
2. 
   2
   Keep your partner updated with your plans. Unless you tell your partner what you are doing, they won’t know. To help keep them in your life, let them know where you are going and who you are with. This helps keep the intimacy and passion between you because you both are including each other in your lives.

   • For example, you might text them and say, “Going out with my friends to this really cool bar. They have a band I know you’d love! We’ll go next time you visit.” You may consider calling them afterwards and telling them about your night. Or, if you are attending an event, such as a concert, then you might consider using services like Facebook or Skype to share live video with them.
   • Do not think about this as a way for your partner to keep tabs on you. You are sharing your lives with one another, just like you would be if you lived in the same area. This is a way to keep each other involved in both your lives.
3. 
   3
   Ask questions about their life. It can be easy to slip into the habit of just texting about your day and expecting your partner to do the same. Help keep the passion by asking questions about your partner’s life, being interested in their new experiences, and remembering things they have going on.

   • For example, you may text, “How is your job going?” or “Are you still liking your apartment?” You might say, “I remember you had a conflict with someone at work. How is that going?” or “Have you tried the new Indian restaurant you mentioned a few weeks ago?”
4. 
   4
   Communicate with them daily. Keeping in touch with your significant other is important because it show that you are thinking about them. When in a long distance relationship, you should text or call each other every day, even if it’s just to say hello and talk about your day. This helps you continue to feel close and connected.

   • Some days, you can send a text, other days you can call, and a few times each week you can video chat.
5. 
   5
   Send mail to each other. Love letters written by hand and care packages are a good way to keep the passion alive in your relationship. A handwritten love letter is an intimate and romantic gesture that can make your partner feel special. A package full of goodies you picked out just for them can also make them feel loved despite the distance.

   • You can include pictures or drawings with your letters. Try baking them their favorite cookies or cakes, and buy them special gifts you know they’ll love.
   • You can also send sexy or naughty gifts, with messages like, “Send me photos” or “For the next time we’re together.”
   Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

• Question

  How can I maintain a long-distance relationship?

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Expert Answer

  Be sure to make time to see or talk to each other so you can keep an open line of communication.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If How.com.vn has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support How.com.vn

  YesNo

  Not Helpful 0Helpful 0
• Question

  How can I keep my partner satisfied in a long-distance relationship?

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Expert Answer

  Try writing them notes or sending flirty messages so you can still have fun and connect with each other.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If How.com.vn has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support How.com.vn

  YesNo

  Not Helpful 0Helpful 0
• Question

  How can I surprise my long distance partner?

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

  

  Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

  Marriage & Family Therapist

  Expert Answer

  Send them something special through the mail. You might send a love note, a gift, or a care package. It's the perfect way to surprise them!

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If How.com.vn has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support How.com.vn

  YesNo

  Not Helpful 0Helpful 0

See more answers

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Advertisement