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Creatively insulting someone is one way of delivering a quick comeback that settles a score or puts someone back in their place. Whether it's someone who uses insults constantly or is someone who doesn't know where to draw the line on making fun of you, a creative insult can stop the annoying behavior in its tracks.
Steps
Think before reacting. If you insult someone without taking a moment to gather your wits, you'll probably just be plain defensive or come across as confused.[1] When you insult them, take a small amount of time to think about it. Not too much or they'll catch on, but a long pause is just fine. If you're short on ideas use a previous insult and modify it. Chances are, they won't catch it.- Take a few deep breaths (draw your breath in noisily if it helps) concentrate on what needs to be said and draw on your pre-rehearsed comebacks (see step 2).
Create some insults in your free time. Think up appropriate ways to insult the different people who might insult you. If you have a starting point, the rest will come easier.Advertisement
Ignore the person(s). If you don't take their insults seriously, they won't be able to insult you seriously.
Don't react. Instead, just smile and laugh it off. It will make the person wonder what they're doing wrong.
Don't swear or resort to "Your mom!" or any other variants such as "That's what she said!" You can use "your mom" jokes to make them be quiet when they are coming up with a comeback to stop them, but they're not creative and people have become used to ignoring them.[2]
Revert the insult to the one insulting you. If you have a point of pride, and they tried to hit it, realize that it is because of their insecurities. If you then talk about how their insult would apply to them more than you, they are removed of this crucial power and you have pointed out that which is evident––they're projecting their insecurities onto you.
Don't get mad. Find their points of pride and insult them on it. If they come up with a comeback, chuckle a bit then say, "It's a bit too late for sarcasm, but thank you." You must remain grounded in your apparent idea that they were complimenting you, they won't believe it, but it will make it harder for them to insult you effectively.[3]
Interrupt them when they insult you. If you stop them from insulting you, they will get frustrated and try harder. If so, interrupt them and pick apart their insults.
Accept that you won. If they are frustrated, you have essentially won.[4] Frustration is the equivalent of an armbar in martial arts, you haven't won yet, but you're about to. This point is critical. You have the choice to either apologize at this point or continue and send them into a swearing or crying wreck. You need to feel when they're frustrated.
Community Q&A
- QuestionIf someone is irritating me with a rumor, what should I do?
Community AnswerLaugh at the rumor and add little more to it...add enough that people finally realize the whole story is fake. - QuestionMy grandson likes to eat pizza with ketchup on it, and his mean stepdad makes him feel horrible about it - what is a good comeback?Community Answer"No wonder my grandson doesn't like you. Stop focusing on the small things that don't matter and start acting like a father/fatherly figure/role model." People like what they like! It's petty and nasty to put them down for that.
- QuestionI have an enemy who used to be my good friend, but she betrayed me in front of our teacher. How do I insult her by which she gets to know that whatever she has done to me was seriously wrong?
Community AnswerIf she used to be your good friend, perhaps you know some of her deep dark secrets or something like that. Bring it up, and she'll realize that she can't act like your friendship never happened.
Tips
- Swearing is overused, it doesn't mean anything.Thanks
- Sit up straight, try to seem intimidating.Thanks
- Stand your ground. In Japanese martial arts, you are told to hold your center and take theirs, you must keep yours before you can take theirs.Thanks
Tips from our Readers 
- When they insult you, jump in partway through to interrupt them by breaking their insult down bit by bit. Not letting them complete their slam is frustrating for them, signaling you've got the upper hand.
- Laugh off their harsh comments, which helps diminish their impact, instead of getting upset yourself. Keeping a cool head prevents things from escalating further.
- If you notice holes in their insult logic, call that out to mock them over it. Poking fun at their weak argument diminishes their power while building up yours.
- Prepare some standard comebacks ahead of time you can use when someone insults you. Having them ready makes it much easier to snap back quickly at the moment.
- Politely ask for clarification if you need some quick extra time to think up a creative comeback insult. It buys you a few seconds without looking obvious.
- View it as a win when they get visibly annoyed because you've flustered them. Stay gracious at that point instead of piling on extra insults unnecessarily.
Warnings
- Don't swear!Thanks
- When they start swearing, gaping, or crying, stop and leave them alone until they insult you again.Thanks
Things You'll Need
- A quick wit that can be honed at most libraries.
- A firm center, which comes with self-knowing, and knowing where your insecurities lie. Come at the person with confidence.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/think-confident-be-confident/201106/think-you-react
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laughing-stock/201405/the-eternal-immature-joy-mother-jokes
- ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/dealing-with-verbal-attacks-6-ways-to-take-the-sting-out-of-an-insult/
- ↑ https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zfmkrj6
About This Article
Insulting somebody creatively is a great way to get some laughs and put someone in their place when they get cocky. Think about things that are important to the person. For example, if they’re always talking about their football team, say something like, “I know, Sam. I get it. I’d be sore too if my team lost 3 games in a row.” Or, if they insult you for being bad at a sport, turn it back on them by saying, “I could improve my game if I wanted to, but you’re stuck with your face for life.” You can also prepare some quick-fire comebacks that work in any situation like, “If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.” For more tips, including how to stay calm when trading insults, read on!
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