How to Improve Your Perspective on Women

Even very caring and well intentioned people can develop a warped perspective of women. Indeed, even women can become biased against other women.^{[1]XResearch source} In order to improve your view of women, you will have to learn how to communicate effectively and respectfully, recognize and overcome your biases, and learn how to appreciate the contributions women have made to your life and to the world at large.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Communicating Effectively with Women

It is important that you not view women as one singular group and instead recognize their differences. Remember that there is as much variation within the category of "women" as there is within the category of "men." This will help you to you avoid creating stereotypes and generalizations based upon an isolated negative experience. You may have had a bad experience with one woman or even several, but that does not mean that every woman will behave the same way towards you.
Many people believe that men and women communicate in fundamentally different ways. However, studies generally show that men and women communicate in very similar ways, using similar words and cues.^{[2]XResearch source} Tell yourself that women are not speaking another language: they are speaking the very same language that you speak. Talk to women in exactly the same way you would wish to be spoken to.
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3
Recognize that some women are silenced because of social conditioning. Even though men and women communicate in very similar ways, there are some power dynamics that do lead to some noticeable differences in how women and men communicate. For example, there has been some evidence that men might be more likely to interrupt than women and that women are less likely to speak up at work.^{[3]XResearch source} In order to resist this conditioning, try the following:
- Do not talk over women when they are speaking.
- Invite women to contribute to the conversation.
- Appoint just as many women as men to lead meetings and make presentations.
4
Cultivate active listening skills. Active listening is a difficult but important task in communication. While active listening is a tool to use when speaking with members of any gender, it can be a particularly effective means of communicating with women, who sometimes are silenced and spoken over. Active listening requires that you do the following:
- Prioritize understanding others over being understood yourself^{[4]XTrustworthy SourceUS Department of StateOfficial website of the U.S. Department of StateGo to source}
- Restate another person's point to ensure that you understood them correctly
- Avoid distractions such as the phone or television^{[5]XResearch source}
- Ask open-ended questions instead of leading questions^{[6]XResearch source}
- Make eye contact^{[7]XResearch source}
- Legitimize the other person's feelings and concerns^{[8]XResearch source}
- Suspend your judgments^{[9]XResearch source}
- Show curiosity about the other person's interests and passions^{[10]XResearch source}
Many people are suspicious of friendships between men and women.^{[11]XResearch source} However, having friendships with members of the opposite sex can help you learn how to broaden your perspectives on life and introduce you to new ways of thinking.^{[12]XResearch source} Resolve to become friends with more women without expectations of romance or sex: this will help you view women more sympathetically in the future.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Overcoming Gender Stereotypes

1
Identify your hidden biases. Recent studies have found that even very caring teachers can exhibit sexist and racist behaviors in the classroom, such as listening more carefully to boys than to girls.^{[13]XResearch source} These unconscious biases can be harder to identify and remedy than more blatant sexist actions (such as sexual harassment).^{[14]XResearch source} Tell yourself that even though you are a very caring and good person, there are structures at play that might make you view women in a sexist way. Some of the more common stereotypes people have about women include the following:
- Women are small or weak
- Women are passive
- Women are supposed to pay more attention to their appearance than men
- Women care more about domestic duties than "hard" skills such as science, math, or engineering
- Women are flirtatious and manipulative
As many as 15% of women report experiencing bias in the workplace. Improve your perspective on women--and improve women's experiences in the office--by supporting zero-tolerance policies in your workplace. Such policies help ensure that women are paid equitably and are not harassed because of their gender. If your office has a positive view of women, you will likely follow suit.
Whether consciously or not, some men automatically believe men more readily than they believe women. This can lead to women feeling singled out or misunderstood.^{[15]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Bar AssociationLeading professional organization of lawyers and law studentsGo to source} To improve your perspective on women, try to listen carefully whenever a woman speaks her mind. Before dismissing her opinion as silly or inconsequential, ask yourself whether you would believe what she was saying if she were a man. Confront your own biases head-on in order to treat women respectfully.
4
Support women leaders. Studies show that people--even other women--are more suspicious of women leaders than leaders who are men. This effect can be seen even among children and teenagers.^{[16]XResearch source} Be supportive of women and girls who display excellent leadership qualities such as forthrightness, intelligence, and effective problem-solving abilities. Encourage your children to do the same in order to build an entire generation with an improved perspective on women.^{[17]XResearch source}
- Encouraging the women and girls in your life to attend leadership conferences and activities is another great way to support women in leadership positions.^{[18]XResearch source}
5
Be on the lookout for sexist language or insults. Unfortunately, women are often demeaned through biased language. Pay attention to the words used around you: do you notice any sexist insults or patronizing language used toward women? Watch your own language, and encourage those around you to watch their language as well.^{[19]XResearch source} Some unconsciously sexist language that might enter your vocabulary includes the following words and phrases:
- Universalized male subjects--such as assuming all persons of consequence are a "he"^{[20]XResearch source}
- Specifying "women's" issues as a fringe subcategory. For example, some people might refer to a "women's" sports team, which implies that "real" sports do not include women.^{[21]XResearch source} Be wary of terms like "women's literature," "chick flicks," and the like.
- Patronizing pet names used for women who are coworkers, acquaintances, or strangers. These include things like "sweetie," "sweetheart," "honey," or "darling."
- Commenting about a woman's appearance in an inappropriate situation^{[22]XResearch source}
- Referring to women by their first names when you refer to men by their last names or titles^{[23]XResearch source}
- Calling adult women "girls"
Many mainstream movies depict the lives of men more than the lives of women.^{[24]XResearch source} Moreover, many movies and shows that portray women do so in a sexist way, where women are valued for their appearance more so than for their bravery, intelligence, or morality.^{[25]XResearch source} Be on the lookout for stereotypes against women in the media. By spotting them, you can help resist their implications.
While diversity training is not a sufficient tool for improving your perspective on women, it can raise awareness about gender bias and stereotyping.^{[26]XTrustworthy SourceHarvard Business ReviewOnline and print journal covering topics related to business management practicesGo to source} Perhaps your work requires diversity training, or perhaps there are optional workshops you can attend through your professional organization. Attend these programs and pay careful attention to the specific suggestions the diversity training provides. For example, the diversity training workshop might let you know about how to improve sexist language, how to encourage women to succeed in the workplace, and how to respect all women you encounter through work.
8
Improve your perspective on yourself. Studies show that men are more likely to exhibit sexist behaviors when they are feeling anxious or insecure about themselves. Try to find ways to bolster your own self-confidence without relying on women to be either a damsel in distress (for you to rescue) or to be a villain (for you to compete with). Instead, work on improving your job skills, pursue your creative pursuits, and view yourself positively.
- If you find yourself in a negative pattern where you treat women badly during your lowest periods--such as when you have gone through a breakup or have a stressful day at work--consider talking to a therapist. A therapist can provide you with better ways to improve your self-confidence.
Your past negative experiences with women do not apply to all women in all situations. To put your past behind you, you should express your anger but take care not to dwell on it.^{[27]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source} Get out and be social to start creating new memories and experiences. Most importantly, avoid inflating a single bad experience into more than it really was. Be rational, and avoid hyperbolic language such as the words "never" and "always."^{[28]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Understanding Women's Contributions

1
Consume art made by women. Many people assume that the best art is created by white men. For example, many book reviewers publicize novels written by men over those written by women.^{[29]XResearch source} This can hurt the public's ability to understand women's stories and perspectives. Resolve to consume just as much art created by women as that created by men. Go to the library and check out books written by female writers, seek out female journalists, and pay attention to the works of female sculptors, visual artists, musicians, and filmmakers. You might find that new worlds open up to you.
- Try to look at this art as true art made for the world: not as niche art made solely for women. Resist the idea that men are the only ones capable of speaking to all of humanity through their art.
Try to focus on the women who have helped you in any circumstance, no matter how small or large. Such positive female influences may include your mother, grandmother, school teachers, college professors, and co-workers. By making this list, you will begin to see the positive contributions women have made to your life. Express your gratitude to these women who have made a positive impact.
3
Learn about women's history. Read a book about women's role in society throughout history, or take a course on women's history at a local college or university. This will help you to embrace and recognize how women have been treated over the centuries. It will help you recognize and sympathize with the difficulties women have faced in the past. If you have a negative or misogynistic perspective on women, you can overcome this attitude by learning about how far women's rights have come and the benefits this has brought to society.
- Be aware that much of women's history takes on the perspective of white women instead of women of color. Try to seek out women's history that focuses on minority perspectives to ensure that your sense of history is balanced.^{[30]XResearch source}
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Tips

This article focuses on treating women better. Keep in mind that gender is not a binary system but is rather a spectrum. Try to be expansive in your views on gender.^{[31]XResearch source}
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In general, simply treat women with respect and treat them how you would like to be treated. Do not treat women as lesser, suspicious, or manipulative: they are people, just like you.
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Look at how gender stereotypes affect media and art, the way you communicate, and how you categorize women. Try to spot these stereotypes in all aspects of life so that you can begin to debunk them.
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Warnings

You will not get along with every woman in much the same way as you will not get along with every man. Do not beat yourself up if a friendship doesn't work out or if you find a woman uncongenial. You do not have to be friends with everybody. Just concentrate on making a good-faith effort to be respectful to others.
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