How to Ignore Naysayers

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methods

1Interacting with the Person

2Connecting with Other People

3Practicing Positivity

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Expert Q&A

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It’s great to get feedback from other people, but some people just don’t know how to be helpful. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who won’t support you. It can be difficult to deal with these people, but keep your head up. Focus on what you’re doing and not what other people are saying. Surround yourself with other positive people and, if need be, confront the person about their behavior.

Steps

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Interacting with the Person

1. 
   1
   Change the topic. If someone is being negative toward you or your work, change the topic of conversation. Steer the conversation in a different direction and talk about different topics. The person may not purposefully be trying to get you down, so changing the topic is a soft way of ignoring their comments. This may be easier with someone you know.

   • Remark about something happening in the present moment. Point out what somebody is doing, the weather, or anything that can transition the topic at hand.
2. 2
   Thank them for their feedback. Even if you don’t find what they say helpful, let them know that you’ve heard them. Some people want to feel useful, whether they actually are or not. A simple acknowledgement will do. There’s no need to tell them you disagree or won’t do things their way.

   • For example, say, “Ok. Thanks for your feedback.”
   • You can also say, “I’ll take that into consideration” and end the conversation with that.
3. 
   3
   Stop justifying yourself. If you feel like you have to justify yourself, your work, or what you do (or want to do), don’t let those comments get to you. If people are getting you down, don't feel like you have to justify anything to them or say why you’re doing what you do. Stand by your work and let it speak for itself. Remember, some people may not know all of the details of your life but may still make comments.

   • If you believe strongly enough in what you do, then you will not have to justify anything to others.
   • Say, “That’s your opinion, and I feel differently,” or "You don't know all of the details, so you shouldn't be making a judgement about me."
4. 
   4
   Give a positive comment back. If someone says something negative to you, try responding with a positive comment directed to them. Don’t try to be biting or ironic. Instead, find something positive to comment on. This will help you maintain a positive attitude and share that positivity with the other person.

   • For example, if someone says, “You’ll never get into college,” respond back by saying, “I’m glad you’re happy at your job.”
5. 
   5
   Walk away. If someone is putting you down in a purposefully negative way, there’s no reason for you to stick around and hear what they have to say. Especially if they’re rude or condescending, walk away. They might be taking their own insecurities or problems out on you.

   • While some people think their comments are helpful, others may be trying to take a jab at you. If you feel like someone is being malicious, step away.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Connecting with Other People

1. 
   1
   Get support from someone you trust. Have a trustworthy and experienced colleague you can talk to who supports you and encourages you toward your goals. Turn to someone who has experience and can guide you toward making positive changes. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and have been down the same road.

   • Talk to a supportive friend or an expert who will give you comprehensive feedback, not just negative feedback.
2. 
   2
   Surround yourself with positive family and friends. Don’t spend time with people who get you down. Make your friendship circle full of people who love and support you. If certain friends aren’t supportive of you or what you do, spend less time with them.

   • Being around other positive people can help you feel good and keep moving forward.
3. 
   3
   Include positive professionals in your life. Be around professionals who are striving toward success or have already attained it. Find coworkers and mentors who support you and encourage you in your work. Connect with other people who share a similar drive and vision as you do. Encourage them and let them encourage you to keep going.

   • Join an entrepreneur group or other professional organization to meet other like-minded people.
   • Meetup.com is a great place to start looking for like-minded people.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Practicing Positivity

1. 1
   Read success stories from others who've accomplished their goals. Seeing the challenges that others have overcome on their way to success can help you stay motivated in the face of your own challenges. Nothing comes easily, and seeing that others have struggled can remind you to keep working toward your goal.

   • If you use social media, follow accounts that feature people who've accomplished their goals or who offer inspiration to keep going.
2. 
   2
   Affirm your efforts. Stand behind the work you’ve done. Whether you’re living a dream or working on getting there, remember the work you’ve put in to reach this goal. You don’t need other people’s approval, but you do need your own. Affirm yourself of your hard work.

   • Affirm for the future, too. For example, say to yourself, “I am successful and happy in what I do” even if you’re not quite there yet.
   • Don't give yourself a hard time for not accomplishing your goals yet. Instead, focus on the positive steps you've taken and the progress you've made. Try to put things in perspective so that you can see the glass half full.
3. 
   3
   Focus on your goals. Consider naysayers a distraction from reaching your goals. Stay focused on what you’re working on without getting sidetracked by other people’s opinions. If you’re not clear on how to set goals, try setting specific and intentional goals to get you where you want to be.

   • Write down your goals and reference them regularly. If necessary, update them so that they reflect what you want for the present and the future.
4. 
   4
   Acknowledge your small victories. Whether you’re trying to lose weight or start a business, take note of the small victories you make. Celebrate your victories, even if they’re not a big deal to other people.

   • Maybe you’re not at your goal quite yet, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate your successes. Make a special meal, put a sticker on your planner, or do something else to help you celebrate a small win.
   • Keep a journal to track your successes so that you can see your progress, even if it's slow.
5. 
   5
   Calm down if you notice yourself getting upset. If you notice yourself reacting to someone’s harsh words, do your best to remain calm. One of the simplest ways to calm down is to take a couple deep breaths. Take a big inhale so that your belly fills with air. Hold your breath for a moment before taking a long exhale.

   • You can also take a walk or distract yourself with something.
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Expert Q&A

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• Question

  How can I deal with naysayers?

  

  Rahti Gorfien, PCC
  Life Coach

  Rahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018.

  

  Rahti Gorfien, PCC

  Life Coach

  Expert Answer

  It's usually best just to avoid negative comments. Remember that you don't have to make anyone happy except yourself.

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