How to Help a Homesick College Freshman

Do you know a young adult who is struggling to make the transition to college? There are many ways that you can help them overcome their homesickness. For most, this is their first time living away from home and being truly independent. This first year student might not only be struggling with trying to navigate the new college experience, but with how to manage their lives with mom so far away and how to cope with missing friends and family. However, you can help a homesick freshman by connecting them to campus resources, helping them reduce their anxiety and stay connected to home.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Helping Them Get Involved

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Connect them with a club or organization. Oftentimes, freshman students feel homesick because they have not yet developed a support system on campus that is similar to theirs at home. College, however, offers tons of ways to connect with others, with many schools offering more than 100 clubs or organizations to join. Go through the list of orgs at their school and encourage the student to pick two or three to find more about.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Encourage them to attend a club meeting or two and to try to make friends there.
- This is a great way for the student to make friends while fostering their own interests.
2
Take them on a tour of campus. When a student transitions away from home and to college, everything may seem foreign to them. Most experiences they will have during their first few days will be completely new and unfamiliar. Encourage them to explore this newness whilst simultaneously creating familiarity with the campus.^{[2]XResearch source}
- This will help the student begin thinking of the campus as home.
- They might also find some cool monument, site, or even study area for them to utilize.
- Help them find a fun place on or near campus where they’d like to get coffee, soda, or snacks regularly. Identifying a special place can help them feel more at home in their new surroundings.
3
Help them find friends. This student may also want to find some friends outside of the scope of a club or organization. Colleges provide several different avenues to make connections with new people. Suggest that they hang out with their roommate more or participate in events sponsored by their dorm. Encourage them to connect with classmates or with people they are in group assignments with.^{[3]XResearch source}
- Finding a campus job can also be a great way to make friends.
- If you are a staff person on campus, consider connecting them to other students who you know have similar backgrounds or interests. You can also enroll them in a peer mentoring program if your college has one.
4
Connect them to on-campus departments. There are several different departments and offices on campus tasked with helping students make an easier transition into college life. Offices such as Multicultural Affairs, GLBT Centers, Women’s Center, or Student Involvement can provide unique opportunities for students to engage with their peers as well as faculty and staff.
- Counseling offices or student centers sometimes offer group sessions or activities for new students.
- Many of these offices are open for students during the work day and even provide study spaces for them.
- Parents can research these different departments on campus and inform their students about them. They should encourage students to stop by or set up an appointment.
5
Encourage them to keep busy. One of the main causes for homesickness in students is a poor use of free time. When the student was in high school, nearly all of their day was likely mapped out for them, but college is drastically different. Encourage the student to use a planner or Google calendar to have a better understanding of their schedule. Encourage them to fill in any gaps with either homework, studying, or something fun.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Tell them to also list their class schedule and to be sure not to miss any of those.
6
Tell them to reach out the RA. The RA, or Resident Advisor, is an upper class student who is tasked with providing activities for the dorm or hall. This person is typically someone who has been successful thus far on campus and can help guide the student towards similar success. Encourage them to reach out to this person when they are feeling homesick or alone.^{[5]XResearch source}
- The RA’s often have drop-in or on-call hours throughout the week. Encourage the student to use those when needed.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Remaining Connected to Home

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Plan times to call. Though you do want to encourage the student to make a life while at college, you do not want to teach them that they should disconnect from home. But rather than calling home constantly, encourage the freshman student to plan times to call home and to honor that unless an emergency arises.^{[6]XResearch source}
- For instance, maybe they will call every other day at around 7PM. This will give the student and family something to look forward to while not feeding their dependency too much.
- If you are the parent, try to abide by this schedule as much as possible. As a rule of thumb, parents should let the student call them, rather than calling the student. This will help set boundaries and give the student a sense of independence.
Just as students should plan times to call, they should also plan times to visit home, as well. If you are their parent, try not to allow your child to come home every weekend. Sit down and plan these visits weeks ahead and allow them to come perhaps once or twice a month at a maximum.^{[7]XResearch source}
On a similar note, if you are their parent, try not to visit your child too often either, especially during the first year of college. You want the student to begin developing a healthy level of independence and autonomy so that they can step into adulthood. Limit your visits to once or twice a semester.^{[8]XResearch source}
4
Have them bring items from home to campus. Another way to allow the student to remain connected to home is to have them bring items of sentimental value or importance to them to be kept in their dorm. On their next visit home, encourage them to bring back a blanket, stuffed animal, book or any other item that they connect with home.^{[9]XResearch source}
- If you are their parent, consider giving them something of yours to keep with them while at school.
- Suggest that they do not bring items of great value to school with them, especially if they have roommates. It could get knocked over or damaged.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Establishing a Positive Mindset

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Refer them to the counseling center on campus. Sometimes, homesickness can be so debilitating that it impairs a person’s ability to function normally. Other times, it is just enough to affect their quality of life in a significant way. In any matter, refer the student to the counseling center so they can talk and work through these issues with a trained counselor.^{[10]XResearch source}
- At some universities, staff have a formal reporting mechanism to inform the counseling center about students with difficulties. Utilize this if you feel overly concerned about the student.
- Remind them that most students feel homesick and many utilize the counseling center to help cope with it.
2
Discourage them from looking at social media accounts of friends from home. Sometimes, homesickness can be augmented by continuously harping on what was left behind. Tell the student to lay off the social media accounts of family and friends for a while until they start to enjoy college more.^{[11]XResearch source}
- Suggest that they even deactivate their accounts for a bit.
3
Encourage them to reflect on the fun of their environment. Students are often so caught up in missing home that they are blind to the fun and excitement that surrounds them. Encourage them to think about all of the fun activities and people and classes that they have encountered while being at college. If you are a staff person, inform them of any upcoming fun events.^{[12]XResearch source}
- You can even suggest that they make a list.
4
Help them avoid rash decisions. During this time of transition, the student might be considering making rash decisions like breaking up a longterm relationship, cutting off their hair, or getting a tattoo. Encourage them to wait to make such decisions until they are in a more positive frame of mind so that they won’t have any regrets.^{[13]XResearch source}
- For instance, you might say something like “Mary, I know you said you wanted to get a tattoo covering your back, but it sounds like you haven’t really been thinking about it that long. Why don’t you wait until next semester to decide?”
5
Decorate their room. Encourage the student to create a space that they can identify with that feels like home to them. Tell them to hang posters, buy books, get a cool tapestry, or make a piece of artwork to make their room aesthetically pleasing.^{[14]XResearch source}
- As their parent, you can help brighten up their room with things that they like. Buy them some colorful pillows or a poster of their favorite band.
Tell them to schedule one thing each day to look forward to. It can be something as small as watching a show or getting some ice cream, but make sure they are creating moments of happiness for themselves daily. Encourage them to also continue self care by taking care of their hygiene.^{[15]XResearch source}
Another way to boost their mood and ensure that they are active and healthy is through exercising. Encourage them to get active by joining their school gym, which is often free of charge, taking some fitness classes, or going for a run. Encourage them to also eat healthy, as well.^{[16]XResearch source}
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