How to Help Your Teen Deal With the Loss of a Loved One

Whether your teen has had a close friend or family member pass away or may have just lost connection with someone they saw as a loved one, it can be difficult to know how to help them cope. As a parent or guardian, you may be unsure of your position in the situation or how to help your teen let out their feelings. Losing somebody is always a rough situation, and it can be tough to know how to help. However, there are a few things you can do in order to help your teen cope with their loss.

Steps

Regardless of whether the situation directly affects you or simply affects you through your teen, use some time to take a closer look at the situation. No situation is more "serious" than another, so analyzing the situation can help to put things in perspective as to how your teen feels. It can also help to put yourself back into the shoes of your teenage self. How did you feel when something serious happened in your teenage life, such as a particularly rough split with a close friend, or the death of a family member?
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Let your child have time away from school and work. Allow your teen to spend time home from school (and work, if they have a job), but make sure they're not simply trying to avoid their problems. Staying home for a day or two because they're grieving the death of a friend or family member is fine, but if they refuse to go to school for a week because they broke apart from a formerly close friend, that should raise a red flag that they're trying to run from the situation. It is highly recommended to keep an eye on your teen during times of great distress but be sure not to be invasive.
- Remind them that isolating themselves is just going to make the loss hurt more, and try to get them back into a normal routine as soon as possible. Make sure they understand that you're not trying to invalidate what they feel while still trying to help them resume their daily routine.
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Encourage them to talk about their feelings. When your teen has lost someone close to them, emotions are guaranteed to be running high and your teen may be reluctant to discuss them. However, this causes more problems in the long run. Encourage your teen to talk about the loss with you or someone they trust. It's also possible to seek a therapist for your teen.
- Your teen will probably feel like they are the cause of the loved one's death, so you will need to make sure that they stop feeling that way. Help your teen understand that angry feelings or wishes of hate never, ever cause people to die. Do not make them feel pressured into telling you about their feelings or your teen might push you away.
Allow your teen to share in the family grief process, but encourage your teenager to return to their normal routines, such as eating three healthy meals a day, going to school and exercising. You should also encourage your teen to participate in hobbies that they used to love. If your teen participates in energizing, joyful hobbies, this will definitely help them to enjoy life again, even if it brings them just a little happiness.
Allow your teen to talk about the loss with others who are also grieving. Expect your teen to say things that can be very difficult. In addition, accept your teenager's feelings about the loss. If your teen cries, screams, or hits a pillow, learn to accept this. Do not scold your teen for feeling sad or angry, and especially avoid telling them to "cheer up", "stay positive", or "look on the bright side". This will only make them feel worse, and you want to avoid making your teen feel worse.
You can do this through showing them pictures, mementos or even playing old videos. Only do this if this makes them feel better, though. If your teen has had a particularly rough breakup with a friend, then this may not be the best course of action.
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Keep an eye on any preexisting conditions your teen had. Not every teenager behaves the same way, and sometimes, a sudden loss can cause your teen to start acting out. If your teen is autistic, suffers from a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder, or struggles with suicidal thoughts, it's important to keep a close eye on how your teen is reacting. If your teen begins showing signs of depression, withdrawing excessively, stimming in harmful manners, or even self-injuring or suicidal behavior, get professional help immediately; at this point, it is most likely beyond your ability to help your teen on your own.
- Even if your teen is perfectly fine when the loss occurs and does not have any emotional problems or disabilities that could cause trouble with their emotions, they can easily develop. Keep a very close eye on your child after a loss occurs, especially if it involves the death or suicide of someone close to them.
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Tips

Your teen may need to see a therapist to help them cope with the loss, particularly if the loved one was someone extremely close to them. Not all therapists will click with your child, so don't be afraid to look around for multiple therapists to try and find one that fits.
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Warnings

Seek professional help for your teenager if they withdraw for an extended period of time. If your teen experience problems with others and their school performance changes drastically, for example, these can be warning signs of something underlying the loss.
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