How to Have the Best Date Ever

You've met someone great--now it's time for some fun! Dating can be a thrilling experience, especially in the beginning. A great date is usually well planned and both people are happy to be there. Whether you are planning a date, or just getting ready to go out, remember to be kind, confident, and considerate!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Planning the Date

1
Choose an activity that you both enjoy. If you are in charge of the planning, you should have some suggestions in mind before giving them a call. Whether it’s a first date or your fifth date, talk to the other person about the things they would like to do (and eat!).
- Remember that you are going out together. Think of activities that you not only enjoy, but that you would like to do with your date.
- If you are still getting to know each other, be sure to plan something that allows you to talk. Have dinner at a quiet restaurant or go to an outdoor exhibit.
- Once the date is planned, ensure that you both know what you’ll be doing so that you can plan your outfit accordingly.
2
Pick a good date and time. If you are planning an epic date, you’ll need to have good timing. Don’t plan at the last minute and offer some scheduling options.
- Don’t assume that your date is free on Friday evening. Offer a few days and times that work for you. ^{[1]XResearch source}
- If it’s a first date, have a clear start and end time. That way you won’t get stuck in an uncomfortable situation for too long if things don’t go well.^{[2]XResearch source}
3
Get creative. Once you know your date’s interests, you can plan something unconventional that will set you apart in a nice way. Remember that you may need some extra time to plan if you’re doing something special.
- Go for a hike or go to the beach if you like outdoor activities.
- See an art show or explore a new coffee shop if you are more low-key.^{[3]XResearch source}
4
Plan back-up activities. Going out to brunch may be enough for a great date. If you are having a good time, however, you may not want to part ways too soon. Plan a secondary activity near by in case the fun hasn’t ended. ^{[4]XResearch source}
- Look up bars or coffee shops in the area. Suggest going for a drink to keep the conversation going. ^{[5]XResearch source}
5
Make the necessary reservations. You don’t want to find a great restaurant, only to learn that there are no tables when you arrive. If you plan an activity like rock climbing, call in advance and let them know when you are coming. Find out if you’ll need to bring anything extra. ^{[6]XResearch source}
- If you do get to your spot and find that you can’t get in, it’s good to have a plan B. Do your research beforehand, and have something else in mind.
Despite your planning, things don’t always work out as you’d imagined. Hopefully you and your date will read each other well and things will flow nicely. If things are going well, something unplanned may arise spontaneously. Don’t be afraid to step out of the box if you both agree that a change of plans would be fun.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Behaving Appropriately on Your Date

1
Be considerate. Be polite to your date and the people around you. This means using respectful language, giving them your undivided attention, and arriving on time.
- Pay attention to your date. Don’t use your cell phone unless you absolutely have to.
- Be punctual. Being late shows that you don’t respect your date’s time. If you are running late, give him or her a call to say when you will arrive.
2
Read social cues. Pay close attention to your date as you interact. Notice his or her tone of voice and body language. These cues can let you know if they are having a good time.^{[7]XResearch source}
- If your date looks uncomfortable for any reason, try changing the subject or suggesting a change of activity.
3
Dress appropriately. The activity you choose to do will dictate what is appropriate. Try to dress on the nicer side no matter what you do. There is no need to go overboard, but looking nice shows that you care.^{[8]XResearch source}
- For men, wear a button down instead of a T-shirt.
- For women, spend a little time on your hair or wear a cute blouse.
- No matter what, it is important to feel comfortable. Don’t wear something that doesn’t fit your personal style or makes it hard for you to move around.^{[9]XResearch source}
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making it the Best Date Ever

1
Be yourself. A good date means that both of you are having a nice time. Be true to who you are and your needs along the way.^{[10]XResearch source}
- Remember that you want to put your best foot forward, but that doesn’t mean changing your personality. If you want to start a meaningful relationship, you’ll have to show your true colors eventually!
2
Relax and be present. Dating can cause anxiety, but you have to relax to have a good time. Smile and enjoy the moment. Be fully present and aware of how you are both feeling. Let the chemistry arise organically. If it doesn’t happen, it’s okay to part ways.
- Ending a date early can be awkward. Some people are comfortable making up excuses about meeting friends or running an errand. If you really aren’t having a good time, you can also try saying something like, “I’m not feeling so great, I think I’m going to head out soon.”
3
Have good conversations. To have a good flow of conversation, ensure that you both have equal talking time. Don’t ask too many questions back to back, and don’t only talk about yourself! Think of things you would like to know about your date. Ask questions about his or her hobbies, goals, or experiences. Strike a balance and share your stories as well. ^{[11]XResearch source}
- For example, you might ask an open ended question like, “What are your favorite things about playing soccer?” This may lead you to more questions or things you would like to share about yourself. For example, “I also love running. I hope to join the track team later this year.”
4
Listen actively. Actively listening is a great life skill. Show that you are listening to your date by facing him or her and looking him or her in the eye. Do not check your phone while the other person is speaking. Verbally confirm that you are listening by repeating what was said or pausing before you respond. ^{[12]XResearch source}
- For example, your date might say, “My cousin went to the World Cup a few years ago.” If this is impressive to you, turn your body toward them and say, “Wow! The World Cup!” Then let them continue with the story.
5
Be romantic. Do something flirty like touching the person’s arm or shoulder. Share a dessert or snack as a way to show intimacy and interest.
- Use body language to let them know if you want a kiss. Step closer to them, or linger when you say goodbye. Note that the other person will reciprocate if they also want to kiss.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Don’t get between the sheets too soon. Sleeping together before you get to know each other can cloud your judgement and cause you to miss any red flags.
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Expert Q&A

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What are some perfect date ideas?
Elvina Lui, MFT
Relationship Expert
Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model.
Elvina Lui, MFT
Relationship Expert
Expert Answer
Try some new things together! For example, if you two love food, instead of eating at nice restaurants, you could cook together, even try challenging recipes together.
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Tips

Laugh! When you remember not to take the date too seriously, your butterflies will fade away and you will have more fun.
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If they get close, it’s probably a sign that they like you. Stay close if you like them too!
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Purses and bags can get in the way on active dates (like at an arcade). Stick money and your ID in your pocket instead.
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