How to Have a Rebound Relationship

Going through a break-up can be really tough. A new relationship can help make the process more bearable. A rebound relationship can be a healthy way to learn to have fun again and regain some of your confidence. Just use caution and make sure that you are emotionally ready to date again. There are several steps that you can take to have an enjoyable rebound relationship.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Finding the Right Relationship For You

1
Take a self-assessment.^{[1]XExpert SourceErika Kaplan
Relationship AdvisorExpert Interview. 1 October 2020.} Starting a new relationship is a big step. It can be especially daunting if you are recently single. Take some time to think about your needs and wants before you jump in.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Make a list of your relationship priorities. Are you looking for someone who shares your interests? For example, do you want someone to go hiking with? Write it down.
- You can also write down your relationship expectations. Ask yourself whether you want to keep things casual or if you want someone who is interested in a long-term commitment.
- Reflect on your emotional status. Are you feeling fragile? Do you still feel unsure of yourself? You might want to take some more time to be on your own before you start a new relationship.^{[3]XExpert SourceErika Kaplan
  Relationship AdvisorExpert Interview. 1 October 2020.}
2
Start dating. The first step towards having a successful rebound relationship is to reenter the world of dating. If someone you are interested in asks you on a date, go for it. Don't feel like you have to go on a date with someone you are not interested in.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Initiate a date. Do you always flirt with the same person after yoga class? Find out if they are interested in you.
- Try saying, "I was wondering if you would like to have dinner on Saturday evening." Be specific and clear.
- Go on a date. Find an activity that you are comfortable with for your first date.
- If you're nervous, try doing something active. A fun activity like bowling can be a great ice breaker.
3
Look for a good partner. While you are dating, start actively trying to find the right person for your rebound relationship. Ideally, you will find someone who is looking for the same level of commitment that you are.^{[5]XExpert SourceErika Kaplan
Relationship AdvisorExpert Interview. 1 October 2020.} When you are on your dates, think about whether this person is right for you.^{[6]XResearch source}
- There are several questions that you can ask yourself. First consider whether you find the person attractive.
- Physical attraction is an important part of any relationship. Ask yourself whether you can imagine being intimate with the person.
- Look for someone you can trust. Does the person seem honest? Does he or she openly discuss their work and family life? That's a good sign.
4
Communicate openly.^{[7]XExpert SourceErika Kaplan
Relationship AdvisorExpert Interview. 1 October 2020.} New relationships are fun and exciting. Once you have started dating again, you might find yourself swept up in the thrill of the newness. Just don't forget that communication is an important part of any relationship.^{[8]XResearch source}
- Be honest about your background. Don't try to hide the fact that you were recently in another relationship.
- Have an open conversation about where you want the relationship to go. Try saying something like, "I really like you. I'm not sure exactly where this is headed, but I do know I'd like for us to be exclusive."
- Listen carefully. Take time to acknowledge your partner's feelings and respect any differences of opinion.
5
Find a new routine. One of the comforting things about long relationships is that you have mutual habits and routines. One of the benefits of a new relationship is that you don't yet have rituals as a couple. That means you can enjoy being spontaneous and keeping things fresh.
- Make it a goal to explore new places. Pledge to try a new type of cuisine together once a week.
- Mix it up a little. Try having a date night on a Monday instead of the traditional weekend outing.
- Be willing to go with the flow. Your new partner likely has a pretty established routine. Don't be afraid to do things on a different schedule than you are used to.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Meeting Your Emotional Needs

1
Acknowledge your feelings. Ending a relationship means that you have to deal with a lot of emotions. Many of those feelings are unpleasant. After a breakup, you may have experienced loneliness, disappointment, or sadness.^{[9]XResearch source}
- Before you begin a rebound relationship, face up to your feelings. Your new relationship will suffer if you allow your past to impact negatively.^{[10]XExpert SourceErika Kaplan
  Relationship AdvisorExpert Interview. 1 October 2020.}
- It's normal to feel lingering emotions. Just make sure to acknowledge them as you move on.
- For example, you can face your feelings of loneliness. You can say to yourself, "I've been feeling lonely lately. I will feel better if I start dating and have companionship." You are giving yourself a healthy motivation for your rebound relationship.
2
Heal from your last relationship. You will have a healthier rebound relationship if you can effectively move on from your ex.^{[11]XExpert SourceErika Kaplan
Relationship AdvisorExpert Interview. 1 October 2020.} Spend some time allowing yourself to emotionally heal. Once you are feeling ready, you can start dating.^{[12]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Make a list. Write down all of the things that you won't miss about your prior relationship.
- For example, you could say, "I will not miss living with someone who would not share in household chores. I was sick of doing laundry for two." Even if the things will small, listing the negatives will help you to focus on the positive.
- Give yourself a break. Take the pressure off of yourself to feel a certain way.
- Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions. This will help expedite the healing process.
3
Boost your confidence. Breakups can be damaging to your self- esteem. A rebound relationship can help you to restore your confidence. Seek a relationship that makes you feel good about yourself.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Try dating someone who compliments you. It is nice to hear something like, "Wow, you look fantastic! I'm lucky to be going to dinner with you!"
- Look for a relationship that makes you feel good about yourself. A rebound relationship should make you feel worthwhile.
- Seek a partner that builds you up. For example, date someone who admires your work ethic and career choice.
4
Use a support system. In order to meet your emotional needs, you need to have a support system. As you are transitioning to a new relationship, turn to your friends and family. They can help offer you emotional support. ^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Ask your friends to listen. Try saying, "I am really excited about my new relationship, but also nervous. Do you have some time to talk?"
- Tell your family you might need some extra understanding. For example, you can tell your sister, "I really want to have fun and explore this new relationship. I won't be able to make the picnic with the extended family this weekend."
- Be honest about your emotions. Communicate your needs to friends and family so that they can more effectively help you.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Enjoying Yourself

1
Try new things. A rebound relationship should be fun. You want to feel free to enjoy yourself. Don't hesitate to try new things while you are enjoying this new experience.^{[15]XResearch source}
- Go on a weekend trip. Try traveling somewhere new together.
- New experiences can be exhilarating. Going somewhere new together as a couple can help you and your new partner bond.
- Be physically active. Take advantage of the energy you'll feel in a new relationship to try some new activities such as hiking or bike riding.
2
Relax. A rebound relationship should feel like a fresh start. In order to enjoy the experience, take some of the pressure off of yourself. Try to avoid putting too many expectations on your new relationship.
- You don't have to have a long-term plan for your rebound relationship. Give yourself permission to take it day by day or week by week.
- Don't worry if you are not interested in "normal" relationship milestones. For example, don't feel like you have to immediately introduce your new partner to your parents.
- Be kind to yourself. The key to enjoying your relationship is to give yourself permission to relax and enjoy.
3
Have great sex. One of the pleasures of a rebound relationship should be sex. Sex in a new relationship can be exciting and different. Make sure to enjoy this component of the relationship.^{[16]XResearch source}
- Don't be afraid to try new things. Give yourself permission to experiment sexually.
- Communicate your needs. Tell your partner, "I love it when you do that do me when we are in bed."
- Make sex a priority. When your relationship is new, make sure to have frequent sex. The intimacy will help you bond with your new partner.
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Expert Q&A

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Question
How do you know if you're in a rebound relationship?
Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
Erika Kaplan
Matchmaker
Expert Answer
If someone is referring to their ex a lot or comparing and contrasting your relationship with their past relationship, you might be in a rebound relationship. If someone is being a bit avoidant in becoming vulnerable with you, that could be a sign that they're not emotionally available.
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How do I handle a reboundee who gets angry and wants to physically or verbally confront my ex about interferring in our reltiinship?
Community Answer
Make it clear that your past relationship is in the past. You can also firmly explain that you can handle your ex on your own.
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Tips

Give yourself time to get over your past relationship.
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Avoid comparing your new partner to your ex.
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