The Truth About Happiness: Separating Myth from Fact

Being happy is a common goal that a lot of us strive toward. But happiness can be hard to define, and it often looks different for everyone. While there’s no exact formula for being happy, there are a few misconceptions about happiness that may be doing you more harm than good. Read through a few common myths to see why they aren’t true and what you can do to feel happier.

1

Myth: You need a relationship to feel happy.

You can be happy no matter what your relationship status is. Single, married, divorced, long-distance, it’s complicated: you name it! Your happiness doesn’t depend on who you’re dating. Spending time with friends and loved ones doing things you enjoy can make you just as happy on your own.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Hanging all of your happiness on whether or not you’re in a relationship can be a little scary. It often leads to settling for partners who aren’t the best just because you’re unhappy being alone.
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2

Myth: Money can’t buy happiness.

Up to a certain extent, it actually can. Studies show that people usually max out their happiness when they make about $75,000 per year. When your bills are paid and you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from, you’re going to feel happier and less stressed.^{[2]XResearch source}
- It’s true that happiness can’t be bought with fancy gadgets or expensive clothes (that’s where the phrase “money can’t buy happiness” comes from).

3

Myth: Happiness declines as you get older.

People actually tend to get happier as they age. Studies show that older adults and seniors experience more positive emotions and fewer negative emotions over time. They’re also usually more emotionally stable and are better equipped to deal with stressful situations.^{[3]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Even with the losses that older adults tend to experience, they’re still happier than younger adults.
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4

Myth: Landing your dream job will make you happy for life.

Dream jobs are exciting, but they can’t make you happy forever. Even if you’re super happy about your new career opportunity, there may come a time when your excitement levels stabilize. It’s great to work toward a goal, but don’t expect it to make you happy forever.^{[4]XResearch source}
- There’s a lot of danger in expecting yourself to be happy because of one specific thing. If it doesn’t live up to your expectations, you could be in for some disappointment.

5

Myth: Happiness just happens, you can’t work toward it.

There are tons of small ways you can work toward being happier. Eating well, exercising, living in the moment, meditating, and practicing mindfulness are all ways you can improve your overall mood.^{[5]XExpert SourceSandra Possing
Life CoachExpert Interview. 15 July 2020.} Even if things aren’t perfect in your life right now, you can focus on the things you can control.^{[6]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Try writing down one thing you’re happy for every single day. Keeping a gratitude journal has been shown to greatly improve happiness and overall mood.
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6

Myth: You must be self-sufficient to be happy.

Leaning on your support network can actually make you happier. Independence is a great thing, but you can’t expect to never need anyone at all. Keeping up your relationships with friends and family members will make you a happier and more well-rounded person.^{[7]XExpert SourceSandra Possing
Life CoachExpert Interview. 15 July 2020.}^{[8]XResearch source}
- Having a quality support network can also lower your stress levels, leading to increased happiness over time.

7

Myth: Certain adversities destroy your chances for happiness.

Human beings can bounce back from a lot. Even if it seems like you’ll never be happy again, don’t lose hope. Time is the best medicine, and you’ll see improvements every single day.
- People often think they’ll never be happy again after a harsh breakup. While it definitely hurts in the moment, if you give yourself enough time to heal, you’ll eventually feel better.
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8

Myth: Happiness is a destination.

Happiness is a constantly moving target that changes over time. What made you happy 10 years ago probably isn’t the same as what makes you happy now. If you view happiness as your end goal, you’re never going to get there! Take each day one step at a time, and focus on feeling good in the moment, not in the distant future.^{[9]XExpert SourceSandra Possing
Life CoachExpert Interview. 15 July 2020.}^{[10]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source}