How to Handle LGBT+ People

The world is full of many different kinds of people. If you don't have much experience, you may be unsure how to react to people who are different from you. When it comes to LGBT+ people, it helps to know that they aren't very different from you at all.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Understanding LGBT+ People

1
Recognize that anyone could be LGBT+. While some people are very open about their identities, others are less talkative about it. Your friend, your coworker, your sibling, the person in front of you in the line at a coffee shop, all could be LGBT+. Whatever your personal beliefs may be, always be respectful, because they can hear you.
- You may think that you may have never met an LGBT+ person, but the truth is, you almost certainly have already met several of them. Their identity just didn't come up.
2
Keep in mind that LGBT+ people are normal. They have feelings, dreams, hobbies, friends, likes, and dislikes just like you do. They aren't very different from you at all.
- Same gender love isn't particularly different. They hold hands, kiss, talk, flirt, and support each other just like other couples do.
- Transgender people aren't that different. It's just that some people don't know what their correct gender is, because they were assigned the wrong one at birth. But their real gender is the one that they tell you they are.
- Asexual and aromantic people might not feel the same attraction that you do, but they still love their families, hobbies, and friends. Some of them want and find happy romantic relationships.
- Intersex people may have a different combination of sex characteristics than most people, but they are not so different from others in other ways. Being intersex is also more common than most people think.
- Some LGBT+ people might have a lot in common with you. Others might have less in common. Either way, they're regular people who deserve empathy and respect.
3
Don't believe in stereotypes. Most stereotypes about LGBT+ people come from people who are afraid of what's different. But your average LGBT+ person isn't scary at all. Here are some examples of important things to understand:^{[1]XResearch source}^{[2]XResearch source}^{[3]XResearch source}
- Gay people don't want to date straight people. They'd rather date someone who can actually like them back.
- Trans people aren't trying to trick anyone. They just want to live authentically, and be who they are inside.
- Nobody wants to "convert" you to being LGBT. They just want the same rights and respect as anyone else. Bigots want to turn other people into bigots, but LGBT+ people don't want to turn other people LGBT+.
- "Creepy" is not a letter in the acronym.^{[4]XResearch source} Creeps and pedophiles exist of all genders and sexual orientations.^{[5]XResearch source} Your average LGBT+ person is disgusted by predators too.
- LGBT+ people aren't inherently promiscuous. The average LGBT+ person isn't any more promiscuous than the average straight, cis, perisex person. Most of them are around average.^{[6]XResearch source}^{[7]XResearch source}
- Being LGBT+ is natural and healthy. Abuse or bad parenting doesn't turn someone LGBT+, nor can a person choose to stop being a certain identity.^{[8]XResearch source} They're just fine the way they are.
- Lack of acceptance, not LGBT+ identity, causes mental health issues. Being LGBT+ doesn't inherently cause mental health problems. But rejection by a community can lead to a person feeling isolated, betrayed, and unloved, and this can cause issues like depression and anxiety.^{[9]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source} If you want to protect an LGBT+ loved one from this, give them support.
4
Try doing a little research online. This can help you learn the basics of what life is like for LGBT+ people. It can also help if you have questions that might not be polite to ask a specific person (like questions about sex or private parts), so that you don't embarrass anyone. The internet is full of websites that can teach you more about LGBT+ people.
- Articles in How.com.vn's LGBT category can be a good starting point.
- Avoid biased sources. For example, the American Psychological Association is a better source than an anti-LGBT blog.
5
Check out media about LGBT+ people to help you understand better. Look for fictional stories about people who are LGBT+. See characters fall in love, face struggles, and find self acceptance. This can help you visualize what life is like for real LGBT+ people, and maybe understand others a little better.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Talking to Someone

1
Be positive if they tell you they're LGBT+. People can feel nervous about coming out, because they aren't sure if you'll be kind to them. Say something like "Thanks for telling me" or "Oh, that's cool!" Smile, and offer a hug if you want. This lets them know that they can trust you.
- Even if it clashes with your beliefs, just think of their positive traits as a person.
- It's usually not a good idea to make a big deal of things. Be positive but not overly positive. If someone just casually mentions that they're LGBT+ it might even be best to not say anything.
2
Ask questions if you are unsure. Most LGBT+ people are okay with respectful, well-meaning questions like "How can I help and be a good friend to you?" or "What does that word mean? I'm not familiar with it." As long as you're respectful and kind, it's almost always okay.
- Avoid slurs (even if you think the person uses it themselves or has "reclaimed" it) to avoid offending anyone.
- Avoid asking them for private information, such as what is in their pants. If you wouldn't ask it to a non-LGBT+ person, don't ask it to an LGBT+ person. The internet is your friend.
3
Help them if they're being bullied or harassed. Walk up to the LGBT+ person, and invite them to hang out with you (so you can take them away from the bullies). Or, if you don't feel safe doing so, get an authority figure.
4
Help create an accepting environment. Self-acceptance and acceptance from others makes a big difference. It helps with self-esteem, mental health, and overall health.^{[10]XResearch source}^{[11]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source} Helping them feel welcomed and appreciated as they are makes their lives better.
- Help protect them from people who don't accept them.
5
Be a good friend. You don't have to have everything figured out, or understand everything about the person's identity. Just keep doing your best to be kind, empathetic, and supportive. If you're trying to be a good friend, it's hard to go wrong.
- Use the name and pronouns they tell you.^{[12]XResearch source}
- Don't pry about personal information regarding medical procedures or family matters. Do not gossip about these matters if you know them.^{[13]XResearch source}
- Take their lead if they give information about themselves and their transgender identity. Then you can discuss the topic respectfully.^{[14]XResearch source}
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What is the term for someone who supports the LGBTQ community?
Nico
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This is called an ally (pronounced al-i). An ally is a heterosexual and cisgender person who supports and/or accepts equal civil rights, gender equality, and LGBTQ social movements, thereby opposing homophobia and transphobia.
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