This article was co-authored by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.
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Almost every pre-teen has a crush but won't admit it to the crush. They may want to go out with their crush or they may try to communicate. Sometimes, they do communicate feeling scared, excited, or both but not showing it. Here's how to get your crush to go out with you!
Steps
Getting to know your crush
Get to know each other. Talk to each other. Take it easy if your crush is shy. Talk about each other's interests, favorite movies, video games, music, etc.[1]
Start doing stuff together. Once you've become friends, start partnering up in science class, trying to be on the same team in gym, playing sports together at recess, or just hanging out at the park to do some studying or skateboarding. It's always important to do something your crush likes to do, without making it seem like a date. Do not try to give hugs or affectionately touch each other in any way. You guys are just friends at this stage.
Take it one step further. Make sure your crush is single. Once you think your crush likes you, start doing more activities together. When going to a field trip, go to interesting spots together. When you think you want to be more than friends, and you are ready, try asking the other to go out. Don't tell your friends what you're trying to do no matter how trustworthy they may be. They will find a way to embarrass you in front of your crush. Keep what you are doing together a secret; it's your personal business.[2]
Play it cool. You really need to let your special someone know that you're cool. Don't be up in their face or act weird. They'll start to like you.[3]Advertisement
Getting a date
Ask them out. Once you guys are real good friends, go in for the big step. Ask them out. Make it simple. Don't go all crazy with the drama and flowers and all that crap. Just make it sound like your asking what the day's home work was.[4]- Say something like: Would you mind going ____________with me on Friday?
- Or: Do you want to go to __________ with me next weekend?
- Keep it really simple. If you make it too sudden or harsh, they may take it the wrong way.
Deal with their response. If they say yes, good for you, you have a date. If they say no, don't go all big with the cold shoulder and drama. Maybe your crush just wanted to be friends. Treat that as a compliment––you don't know the future, so stay good friends instead.[5]
Avoid pestering your crush. They will get the wrong message.[6] Keep your secret a secret until you know both of you want the whole school knowing. Once you tell one person, it just zooms like lightning everywhere.Advertisement
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
- Take it slow. Don't rush it, it'll be obvious that you're desperate for him/her. Also, don't try to be a show-off or be loud around them.Thanks
- Don't get your friend to ask them for you, unless you want them to like your friend instead.Thanks
- Be kind.Thanks
Warnings
- Don't fall into the trap of getting too comfortable as friends, or else your crush may begin to think of you as a close friend rather than a potential romantic partner. You've got to keep your intentions clear.Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about youth dating, check out our in-depth interview with Joshua Pompey.
References
- ↑ https://hackspirit.com/questions-to-ask-your-crush/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201605/4-ways-you-can-turn-crush-relationship
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/a19340/how-to-act-around-a-crush/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-ask-someone-out/
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/crushes.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201303/6-ways-stop-being-annoying
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