How to Get Someone's Phone Number

You've got a crush, how exciting! But how exactly can you score their digits? From texting about your days to making plans for a date, having someone's phone number can be a game changer. This way, you two can keep building up your rapport, and you can do it all without being in the same place. Plus, getting your crush's phone number is probably easier than you'd think. We're walking you through all of the top tips below.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Preparing to Ask

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Build up your confidence. A person with confidence is very attractive to the opposite gender.^{[1]XResearch source}
- Feel your best by putting on your favorite outfit, styling your hair, and listening to your favorite music. Of course, you can only do this if you know in advance that you plan on asking someone for their number.
- Even if you don’t feel that confident, act with confidence. It will appear the same to onlookers, and eventually the act will transition to the real deal.
If you practice a scene over and over in your head about asking for someone’s number, it will either 1) look equally rehearsed in person, or 2) work out differently in real life, making the practice unnecessary.
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Are you asking this persons number to call them up for fun? To meet them the next day? For a date in a week? Have an idea of what you plan on doing with their number before you ask.^{[2]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
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Be prepared for conversation. Although nerves can get in the way and make real talking seem like the most frightening thing in the world, it is unfortunately necessary for you to sell your charming self in exchange for a number.^{[3]XExpert SourceImad Jbara
Dating CoachExpert Interview. 22 September 2021.}
- Don’t expect to just walk up, ask for a number, and leave. You will have to do a little talking before and after the number-taking goes down.
- Be open and honest. They may ask you questions, in which case your best solution is to be brief and truthful.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Don’t monopolize the conversation. Although it is easy to talk about ourselves, ask your potential partner questions and give them time to respond. Be a good listener, it is very attractive.
- Know when to end the conversation. Although a little discussion is good, drawing it out for too long becomes boring. Make sure that you aren’t being too time-consuming in your conversations.^{[5]XResearch source}
Although you may know in advance that you want a person’s phone number, never stalk them to get it. Being caught in the act of creeping on them will definitely not put you on their good side.^{[6]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}^{[7]XResearch source}

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Asking for the Number

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1
Try being direct. The most simple option is being very direct. Approach the person, start a conversation, and make a comment along the lines of “you know, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you. Do you think I could have your phone number and we could do it again sometime?”^{[8]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}^{[9]XResearch source}
- If you are asking a stranger, don’t worry about having a lengthy conversation. The person likely knows that you are approaching them out of romantic interest.
- If you know this person before asking for their number, make sure your intentions are clear. You don’t want to come across as a platonic friend looking for support when you are really romantically interested in them.
Say that you need to borrow something, for example a pen, and then ask if you can have their phone number so you can call them to meet and give whatever the item was back to them. This is simultaneously flirty and straightforward, a perfect combination.
Instead of asking a yes-or-no “can I have your number?” question, offer two choices. “Could I have your phone number or email?” This way, they are more likely to give you a definite means of contacting them.
Although business cards are less commonly held by today's youth, swapping business cards is a great way to get someone’s contact. It also verifies that their number is real, not a fake one given because they aren’t interested.^{[10]XResearch source}

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

What to Do Next

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Once you’ve gotten their phone number, don’t linger. Instead, walk away calmly and either leave the scene or hang out in a different area.
Although you have their number now, don’t take that as a sign to call them immediately. Wait at least 24 hours before making a move and giving them a call.
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Call, don’t text. Although texting offers an emotional shield, it is distancing and impersonal. For a much more personal conversation, call them. This goes for the first or the fortieth time you get a hold of them; calling is almost always preferable to texting.
- Try to set up a meeting in person when you call them so you can build a stronger bond with them.^{[11]XExpert SourcePatti Novak Williams
  Professional Matchmaker & Dating CoachExpert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
This is just another person, right? So don’t become anxious and worried the first time you actually use their number. Keep calm and collected and it will show, making you even that much more attractive to them.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Getting Someone's Phone Number Without Asking

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1
Take their phone. If you are with the person, try taking their phone. Note that it's best to be open and flirty about it since you could get into trouble if you take their phone secretly or against their wishes.
- Send yourself a text message from their phone, and add your contact to their list.
- Look up their number in their phone settings.
If you have a mutual friend, simply ask them for the person's number instead. This way, you get the number without having to be so up-front about it.
If you have a phone book, school directory, or archive of coworker phone numbers, look up their number. Use whatever method you have available to find their number.

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Comprehension Quiz

Why is it important to know your intentions before asking for someone's phone number?

So you can be prepared for conversation.

So you can come across as honest and open.

So you can have an idea of what you plan on doing with their number.

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Tips

Don't try to be too obvious about the fact that you are trying to hold a conversation with someone just so you can get your number.
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Don't keep begging the person for their number.
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Be mindful of your relationship with the person whose number you are trying to obtain. Rushing some of these steps with a person you hardly know will make them uncomfortable.
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