How to Get Closer to God

Growing your relationship to the god you believe in takes work and dedication. If you need a change in your life, you can learn how to get started talking to God more effectively, deepening your connection and your relationship, and leading a fulfilling spiritual life.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Talking With God

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1
Make time for daily prayer. Simply put: To grow your relationship with God, you need to pray. Whether you're a devoted believer, or are looking to make a change in your life, taking time out of your busy schedule to sit and speak with the god you believe in is the single most important way to get closer and focus on your faith.
- Prayer doesn't need to be an hours-long commitment, unless you want it to be. Take a five minute break at work to pray. Pray before a meal. Pray while you're stuck in traffic.
- If you struggle to find the time, or to remember to pray, set a phone alarm, or find some other way to remind yourself to pray at a consistent time. Make it a routine, part of your daily schedule.
- Many people will distract themselves with busyness, filling up with other seemingly "necessary" activities to avoid prayer or devotion. Sometimes, praying and focusing on your relationship with God can be emotionally draining, or difficult, as much as it can be uplifting and joyous. Make the time for it more regularly, to make it less of a chore.
2
Just bring yourself. God doesn't expect everyone to be a saint. Nobody's perfect, and just acknowledging that you're not is one of the easiest ways to grow your relationship with faith and your belief in the god you come to. If you're not sure what you're supposed to say, or how you're supposed to act, that's fine. Talking to God doesn't require you to become someone you're not, at least at first.
- If you've never prayed before, or weren't raised with any kind of understanding of a god, check out this article to get started with some of the basics.
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3
Pray in a way that feels most natural to you. Some people pray by fully prostrating themselves on the ground, and bowing. Some people pray by closing their eyes, clasping their hands, and bowing their heads. Some people chant. Some people just sit quietly and introspectively. There's no one, correct way to pray.
- Try to find a quiet space, somewhere you'll be able to really focus on your faith and what you're trying to say. Close the door, take a few deep breaths, light a candle, and sit quietly for a few minutes.
- It's not "better" to pray loudly, or to adopt practices you see others engaging in. That doesn't mean someone is closer to God than you are. It's important to develop a personal relationship, not one based on observations of others.
4
Open up to God. What do you say to God? Largely, that will depend on your unique condition and circumstance. What do you want to say to God? What needs to be heard? Sometimes it can be hard to know exactly how to get started, but focusing on open-ended questions, both about concerns and devotional joys, is common way of praying. Ask questions that focus on:
- Your struggles, personally and spiritually
- Your joys, personally and spiritually
- Your family, their trials and their successes
- Injustice and suffering in the world at large
5
Confess sins and ask for forgiveness. One of the most common things to do in a prayer session is to confess your sins and your guilt, helping to alleviate the burden. Being up front about your failures and your shortcomings helps you to become a better person, and to bring yourself closer with God. Be honest and forthright with your assessment of yourself.
- What do you feel guilty for doing in the past week?
- What do you want to change about yourself?
- How can you lead a better life?
6
Listen as you speak. Prayer is a funny thing. The way that God chooses to answer prayers varies from person to person, from theologian to theologian. Whatever you believe, though, and however you choose to pray, part of getting closer to God is in learning how to listen, and what to listen to.
- Look for signs to interpret. Pay attention to things that seem heavy with meaning. Many people believe "chance" encounters are anything but. Did you get a phone call from an unexpected source? Take "random" things as a sign.
- Listen to your intuition. What your gut tells you is important. Many people believe that voice inside yourself isn't necessarily yours in the first place, but is influenced by the god in whom you trust. What do you instincts tell you? Trust them as you trust God.
- Be willing to work for an answer. Answers to prayers won't come as shouts, they'll come as whispers. Five minutes after praying about unemployment, it's unlikely that a knock will come at the door offering you a new job. Hit the bricks, scan the classifieds, and do the work of finding your answer.
7
Have a conversation, don't make demands. Prayer isn't about calling up to the heavens and asking that it rain cash money. If you go into prayer expecting the clouds to part and a briefcase full of tens to come down on a lightning bolt, you'll be disappointed. That's not how prayer works, and whether or not you're close to God will have nothing to do with it.
- Think of prayer as a conversation with a trusted friend and advisor, someone who cares for you like nobody else, and who has your best interest at heart. There may be no answer to your queries, but there's an ear that's always there.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Growing Your Faith

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1
Spend time with like-minded believers. As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another, is how the Bible puts it. While prayer is essential to whatever religion you practice, it's difficult to grow your faith and your relationship with God all by yourself. Fellowship with other believers is one of the most important ways to build a relationship and to find peace.
- If you want to become a member of a church, check out this article for a good introduction.
- If you're not able to connect with people in your area, check out online venues and message boards for members of the religion you're a part of. This can be a great way to connect if you're feeling isolated from other believers.
2
Spend time studying the central religious texts. Whatever religion you're a part of, it's important to head to the source and study the big books at the center of it, instead of relying on the words of preachers and supplementary books. Most religions believe the central texts, the Bible, The Quran, the Mahabharata, the Torah, and countless other texts, are all divinely inspired, if not the actual words of God. Reading them is a great way to get closer.
- Try organizing your own prayer group, or a religious book club. These can be great ways to get together and get closer to God as a group, as well as struggle through what can be difficult reading together.
3
Ask big questions. Growing your faith in God requires that you relentlessly explore the intricacies of your faith and your relationship to your belief system. Don't shy away from the big questions, in your prayer practice. Try to embrace the questions that might scare you, or keep you up at night, to move yourself closer to God. Consider things like:
- Why are we here?
- Is this a good life that I'm leading?
- What is my purpose?
- What can I do for God?
- What happens when I die?
- Why does suffering exist?
4
Confront your doubts. Doubt is a part of faith, just as death is a part of life. You're going to confront it, and the way you choose to confront it has the potential of bringing you even closer to God. It's important to anticipate doubts about your faith and learn to deal with them.
- Talk to others, when you have doubts. Many believers fear being "outed" as doubters, when they should take the opportunity to have deep discussions about matters of faith with other believers. Look at doubt as an opportunity to deepen your faith.
- Always pray about your doubts. Take your concerns and your worries to the source. Even just talking to God can help some people assuage their doubts.
5
Keep your mind open. For many believers, a growing relationship with God can come with a (literally) "holier than thou" attitude. Believing that yours is the one true god, and that your relationship is great can make it hard to deal with non-believers in a more simplified way. As you become more and more confident that your relationship with God is deep, it's important to learn how to discuss your faith with others, and keep an open mind.
- Keeping an open mind doesn't mean opening yourself up to doubts, necessarily, just that you don't need to condescend to others when matters of faith are at stake.
6
Go on a spiritual retreat. Sometimes, getting away from the hustle of your daily life and devoting some time to reflection and contemplation is an excellent way to get closer to God. Lots of religions make retreats or pilgrimages a formalized ritual, but there is also an opportunity to do one yourself, just to grow your relationship personally.
- Try visiting holy places, or spending a week at a monastery, or at a nature retreat to pull away from your responsibilities for a break from the concerns of the mortal coil.
- Retreats can cost big money, but they don't have to break the bank with a little creativity. Worship in your own way, on a camping trip, or by just taking a long weekend to read quietly and pray. If you're a hunter, you can get closer to God while you're sitting in a blind at 5 am, watching the stars hide.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Living Well

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1
Don't try to be perfect. For one thing, perfection is an impossibility. It's important to recognize your imperfections and your shortcomings. People who are close to religion believe that God is all-knowing, meaning that God recognizes your shortcomings as well. There's no sense in becoming someone that you're not. There is no lying in prayer.
- At the same time, it's important to recognize the things that you're able to change about yourself and try to work on them. Self-improvement doesn't require you to be perfect, but it does require honesty and diligence.
- Keep a list of things you'd like to work on, spiritually and just in your general life. How do you want to live? What do you struggle with? What would make you a stronger believer? Establish clear goals.
2
Let God affect your actions. It's not enough to be close to God when you're at church and become someone else when you're in public. When you take action, let those actions be influenced by your spirituality. Would one course of action serve your relationship with God better than another? Is your behavior at work in line with the religious text you believe in? Your personal relationships? Keep all things pointing back to God.
- You don't have to prove this to anyone but yourself and to God. Acting extremely pious by connecting even the most basic actions to your god might just come across as fake. You don't have to dedicate every bowl of cereal to the glory of the creator to be close with God.
What choices in your life will give you the biggest opportunity to grow spiritually, to live happily, and to live well? The best way to approach these questions is to hand the reigns over to the god that you believe in. Imagine God were making your decisions for you.
4
Avoid material worship. Like the secular world, some religions come with lots of trappings. Bringing yourself closer to God doesn't necessarily involve having more statues, crucifixes, or prayer candles than your neighbor. It has to do with the personal spiritual journey that you're on.
- Judaism, Christianity, and many other religions practice some form of tithing, or donating a certain sum of money (often 10% of your income) to the church to which they belong.^{[1]XResearch source} While tithing is celebrated by some as good practice, it is derided by others, or at least complicated.^{[2]XResearch source}
- Spending more doesn't make you a better servant to God, though it helps to give back to the church, which helps to spread the ability of others to worship, which brings you closer to God in turn. There are lots of ways to look at the issue, so it's important to pray on it yourself and make your own decision.
5
Consider taking the next step. In many religions, the closest one may become to God is to devote your life to monasticism, priesthood, or ministry. While this is a big step that may involve leaving your family and your way of life behind, this in itself is a major rite of passage to the most devoted believers. Explore the options your religion has to offer.
- If you're interested, visit a monastery or talk with a church leader at the church you attend. Express your interest and try to find out what it takes.
- If you aren't able to devote yourself to God full-time, there are still many ways to volunteer what free time you have to service. Mission trips, leading youth groups, and forming prayer groups are all common ways of bringing yourself closer to God and donating your time.

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Question
I want to get closer to God. I'm only 15 but I need help. I do confess my sins but I don't go to church. Please help me. I do want salvation.
Community Answer
If you confess your sins to God He will forgive you. It is that simple. You will have salvation. If you can't go to church, try to find a Bible and read it every day. Also, talk to God every day. You will find yourself getting closer to God.
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How do I deal with the frustration I feel when God won't answer my prayers?
Community Answer
Don't get frustrated because God's reaction to your prayers isn't instant. Practice patience and have faith that your prayers are heard and will be answered at the right time.
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How can I listen to God's voice? How can I know that God heard my prayer if His answer is wait? How will I get to know about it?
Fikayo Bunmi
Community Answer
Sometimes God doesn't speak to you verbally. He can speak to you through bible verses he inspires to you. Other times, somebody might even be used by God to answer it. You just need to wait patiently while praying to hear God's voice. And also be sensitive.
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