This article was co-authored by Leslie Bosch, PhD. Dr. Leslie Bosch is a Developmental Psychologist, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and Owner of Bosch Integrative Wellness. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in providing stress relief coaching services to individuals and groups using a variety of scientifically proven methods for change including motivational interviewing, positive psychology, self-compassion, non-violent communication, social learning theory, and self-determination theory. Dr. Bosch received training from the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona and earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from The University of Arizona. She is also a member of the National Board of Health and Wellness Coaching Association. Dr. Bosch has published many papers and been featured in the media numerous times.
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It's hard to act natural around someone when you dream about getting romantically involved with them. If you want a shot at getting together with your crush, you'll need to take steps to get along well with him or her. Be friendly, mature and easy to talk to, just like you would with any other friend. Who knows, maybe your calm, cool demeanor will make your crush start seeing you in a different way.
Steps
Don't play hard to get! It is one of the biggest mistakes you could make and there is nothing more sickening than to see a girl trying to act tough in front of a guy when they're failing dismally. Plus, most guys don't go for that; they usually get the wrong impression, because if they like you back and you play hard to get, they may think you don't like them.
If you want to start a conversation with your crush, but you're scared of approaching him/her, you don't have to! Start a conversation with a friend about something you know the crush is interested in (if they're around) and speak louder than normal if necessary (not too loud). If he/she joins in, that's great! Listen to what he/she says and keep talking normally. If he/she doesn't, casually turn around and ask him/her, "Hey, don't you like [whatever it is you're talking about], too?"
Be nice to your crush. Treat him/her like a person, not just a crush. Treat him/her like one of your friends! If he/she needs a pen, offer to let him/her borrow one of yours. If he/she's looking tired or sick or sad, ask if he/she is okay or what's wrong. She'll/He'll appreciate your kindness.- The trick is to not put your crush on a pedestal in your head. Treat them like a normal person you’ll have a much easier time keeping your cool.
Try to be a mature person. Laugh if you hear something funny, but laugh like a normal person. If you hear something stupid, but sort of funny, smile, but sort of roll your eyes as if to say 'How stupid.' Don't act ditzy or as if you can't do anything. Be strong. Be smart. And never, ever act dumb.
If you don't have anything in common, find something! Do you have a band you like a lot (make sure it's not a boy band!)? Then mention the name of the group around your crush, talking about a great song they have or something. If she/he looks interested, ask if she/he wants to borrow the CD. Things like that. Be sure to look out for things that he/she likes; you might have something you both love that you can talk about.
Look nice. Don't go out of your way to look hot or sexy or stunningly beautiful just for him, but wear clothes that you like and that look good on you. Wash your hair. Take care of your skin. Exercise. Brush your teeth. Don't wear anything too revealing, as he might get the wrong idea. When you get a haircut, ask the hairdresser to recommend a style that she thinks will work well for you. He might notice and say so!
Conversation is incredibly important. Try as hard as you can to be yourself. Don't talk sweety-sweet or tough or anything. Don't talk too much; two sentences at a time unless you're telling a story or something that he looks very interested in hearing. Try to make him laugh, but don't go overboard with jokes. Let him talk. Listen to what he has to say and ask him about it later. Laugh at his jokes even if they're not funny if you do a bad fake laugh smile. Do not talk with your mouth full.
If you're in class talk to him about the lesson or something he would be interested in. Then after he replies you can give your opinion and you could get into a good conversation. If you're afraid of talking to her/him just do it most likely he/she will like it, if he/she is in a conversation just join in.
If he/she is interested in you, you might notice them looking at you a lot, or staring. If he makes a move that shows something, he likes you...
Treat him/her like you would treat a friend. Don't pretend he/she is an alien you can't talk to. They're a person just like everyone else. They will think you are friends and gradually like you more (If they don't already like you!).Advertisement
Expert Q&A
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Tips
- If you are really desperate, try not to think of him as your crush when you talk to him. You`ll become much more relaxed around him and have a better time.Thanks
- If he acts like he likes you then show him that you do care.Thanks
- To avoid getting nervous, always remember: it is just a little crush. You may have a massive crush on someone, but remember, it is only a crush. and if it's love remember they think of you like anyone so it's no big deal and if they don't think of you like just anyone then they will want you to talk to them.Thanks
Warnings
- If he's being mean to your friends, things could turn ugly. Your loyalties could become difficult to keep, and you might have to make some very difficult choices.Thanks
- Make sure the guy is single. You don't want to get a reputation as a boyfriend-snatcher, and you don't want to tick off his girlfriend.Thanks
- Also: Try not to flirt so much with his friends, that might make him think you don't have feelings for him.Thanks
About this article
Reader Success Stories
"You were right, this helped me get along with my crush and now we are very good friends (maybe something more). She was not talking to me at all in 6th class, but now, over a period of time in 7th, we are good friend. Thanks a lot."..." more
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