How to Forget About Someone Important

Forgetting about someone is hard, especially if they’re important to you. You’re probably hurting a lot right now, so you likely want to feel better as soon as possible. While it takes time to truly forget, you can help yourself get through the process faster. First, give yourself the time you need to grieve the loss of this person, whether your relationship ended or they passed away. As you do this, remove items that trigger your memory of them. Finally, work on moving on by focusing on the present and doing things you love.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Allowing Yourself to Grieve

1
Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way. When you lose someone from your life, it’s natural to grieve that loss. Take as much time as you need to work through these feelings.^{[1]XExpert SourceKirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified PsychiatristExpert Interview. 18 August 2021.} Additionally, don’t try to make yourself feel a certain way because there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.^{[2]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- For instance, you might feel really mad if the person hurt your feelings or broke up with you.
- Similarly, you might feel really sad that someone you loved passed away or that you lost the future you thought you had with an ex.
2
Release your emotions in a way that feels natural to you. You might feel really overwhelmed by your emotions right now, and that’s okay. To help yourself feel better, express your emotions in a healthy way. This can help you start to feel better. Here are some ways you might deal with your grief:^{[3]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Cry.
- Scream into your pillow.
- Write in a journal.
- Write a letter telling the person goodbye, then burn it.
- Draw or paint something.
- Take an exercise class.
3
Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Venting is a great way to help yourself move on. Tell your friend what happened and how it made you feel. Then, explain that you’re trying to forget the person. Let them know if you want advice or not.^{[4]XResearch source}
- You might say, “I’m not looking for advice, but I need to vent a little. A friend of mine stole from me, and I’m having trouble dealing with it. I’m really sad that she did this, and I feel mad at myself for trusting her. I’ve decided to stop being friends with her, but forgetting about her is hard.”
4
Reach out to friends and family so you have support. You might feel really alone right now, but there are people who care about you. Ask the people closest to you to spend more time with you as you go through this loss. Invite them over to your home, join them for social outings, or call them on the phone. Spending time with others will help you feel better.^{[5]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- If you can’t see people in real life, try texting or video calls.
- You can also interact with people in online forums.
5
Use distractions to help you cope with your pain. While it’s important that you work through your feelings, sometimes you just need a break from the pain. Distract yourself from your pain with fun activities, funny movies, and hanging out with your friends. Immerse yourself in what you’re doing so that the thoughts of the person you’re forgetting fade to the background.^{[6]XExpert SourceKirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified PsychiatristExpert Interview. 18 August 2021.}^{[7]XResearch source}
- For instance, go bowling, walk your dog, get coffee with a friend, read a book, watch a funny movie, go to an improv class, or paint mugs with a friend.
- This is especially helpful if you find yourself ruminating on the loss or certain moments in the relationship.^{[8]XExpert SourceKirsten Thompson, MD
  Board Certified PsychiatristExpert Interview. 18 August 2021.}
6
Practice self care so you’re meeting your physical and emotional needs. When you’re coping with a loss, remembering to take care of yourself is hard. At the same time, eating healthy meals, exercising, and being kind to yourself will help you feel better faster. Create a routine to make sure you’re meeting your needs.^{[9]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- For example, create a morning routine of brushing your teeth, showering, getting dressed, and eating greek yogurt. Your evening routine might be to eat a healthy dinner, indulge in a hobby, and get ready for bed.
- Do nice things for yourself like soaking in a bath, coloring in an adult coloring book, giving yourself a massage, or buying yourself a small present.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Removing Reminders of the Person

1
Unfollow them on social media and block their phone number. If you’re seeing their updates, you won’t be able to stop thinking about them. Similarly, you don’t want them contacting you, which will trigger your memories. Make sure you delete all of your digital links to them so you won’t be tempted.^{[10]XExpert SourceKirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified PsychiatristExpert Interview. 18 August 2021.}^{[11]XResearch source}
- If the person you want to forget has died, you may not want to unfollow them completely. In this case, try taking a break from social media.
Tip: If you have mutual friends who might post pictures of them, consider unfollowing them until you’ve gotten this person off of your mind. Otherwise, you may have trouble forgetting about them.
2
Donate or throw out items that trigger your memories. Seeing gifts, mementos, and photos can keep you locked in a cycle of thinking about them. To avoid this, go through the things you own and pull out anything that reminds you of them. Then, donate items that are in good condition and throw out things no one can use.^{[12]XResearch source}
- You might have an item that reminds you of them even though they didn’t give it to you. For instance, you might have used an old blanket for picnics with your ex. If the item triggers you, consider getting rid of it.
3
Place items you want to keep in a box for safekeeping. Don’t feel like you need to purge every reminder of them if that’s not what you want. For instance, they might be in photos from special events, or you might want to remember a lost loved one after your pain lessens. If this is the case, put the items in a box that you can save for later. Then, put the box in a safe place.^{[13]XResearch source}
- It’s okay if you decide to get rid of the box later. Do what feels right to you.
Variation: If you have digital photos or messages you want to keep, save them to a special folder on your computer. As another option, put them on a flash drive that you can keep in the box.
4
Stay away from places they frequent while the pain is fresh. At first, it may be hard for you to go to places they frequent without thinking of them. This is especially true if they might be there! Do your best to stay away from these places until you feel comfortable going there.^{[14]XResearch source}
- For example, stay away from their workplace if possible. Additionally, avoid their favorite coffee shop and lunch spot.
Variation: If you can’t avoid the person, create a buffer for yourself. Ask friends to support and distract you, carry a book or notebook to use as a distraction, or use your phone to occupy your thoughts.
5
Replace your memories of the person you’re forgetting with new ones. You likely made a lot of memories with this person, and it may be hard to stop thinking about them. Replacing unwanted memories is a great way to help yourself forget them. There are 2 ways to do this:^{[15]XResearch source}
- Ask your friends to recreate situations with you, like dinner at a certain restaurant, playing a board game at a coffee shop, or walking on the beach. Then, turn your thoughts to this new memory anytime the old memory surfaces.
- Redirect your thoughts to a different memory when the unwanted memory comes up. For instance, if you start thinking about the last day you saw the person you’re forgetting, shift your thoughts the day you met a new friend.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Moving on with Your Life

1
Express your gratitude for the positive things in your life. Right now, you might be focused on the loss of this person, and that’s okay. However, thinking about everything good in your life can help you start to feel better. Make a list of the things you’re grateful for, like your friends, home, and talents. Then, re-read your list anytime you’re feeling down.^{[16]XResearch source}
- You might also write down the positives you got from the person you’re forgetting. For instance, you might be grateful for the time you had with someone who passed away, or you might be grateful for the new experiences you had with an ex.
2
Use mindfulness to help you focus on the present. Being in the present can help you stop dwelling on the past so you can forget. Ground yourself in the present by engaging your 5 senses. Notice what you can see, hear, smell, feel, and taste in your environment.^{[17]XResearch source}
- For instance, you might see the leaves on a tree, hear the wind blowing around you, smell the scent of honeysuckle, feel the warmth of the sun, and taste your lip balm.
- Meditation and Yoga can also help you ground yourself in the present.
3
Forgive the person if they hurt you so you won’t be weighed down. If someone hurts you, it’s hard to release that pain. You have every right to feel like you do. At the same time, holding onto a grudge will only hurt you more. To help yourself move on, forgive them for what they did to you with an expression of forgiveness.^{[18]XTrustworthy SourceMayo ClinicEducational website from one of the world's leading hospitalsGo to source}
- Express your forgiveness out loud to yourself or in a letter that you can destroy. You don’t need to tell the other person they’re forgiven unless that’s what you want.
- You might say, “I forgive Alex for cheating on me. I realize that people make mistakes, and it wasn’t done to hurt me. I’m going to let go of my hurt and anger now.”
4
Pursue your interests and build the life you want. You deserve to be happy! Doing the things you love will help you find happiness, and it will also help you forget about the past. Make a list of your personal goals and what you like to do. Then, do 1 thing every day from your list.^{[19]XResearch source}
- For instance, take a class, learn to play an instrument, train for a marathon, paint, or get a pet.
5
Make connections with new people. Meeting new people and making new friends will help you move on. Attend clubs, meetups, and local events to meet more people. Just try to talk to people and get to know them. Over time, you’ll start to build friendships with some of the people you meet.^{[20]XResearch source}
- Check meetup.com and Facebook groups and event for activities in your area. This will help you connect with people who share your interests.
- If you’re in school, look for an after-school club.
- If you’re religious or spiritual, attend events related to your faith to meet more people.
6
See a therapist if you’re struggling to find peace. You might find that it’s really hard for you to move on, and that’s okay. You may need additional support from a therapist. They can help you understand your feelings and learn new ways to cope. Additionally, they’ll help you take your first steps toward moving on.^{[21]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Your therapy appointments may be covered by your insurance, so check your benefits before you go.
- Ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist or look for 1 online.
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Expert Q&A

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Question
How can I forget someone fast?
Kirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Dr. Kirsten Thompson is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Clinical Instructor at UCLA, and the Founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in helping patients with mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson holds a BS in Operations Research Industrial Engineering from Cornell University and an MD from The State University of New York, Downstate College of Medicine.
Kirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Expert Answer
Forgetting someone quickly isn't actually a great idea! You should give yourself time to grieve the loss of a relationship, since avoiding the experience of sadness won't help you process your emotions.
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Question
How do I force myself to move on?
Kirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Dr. Kirsten Thompson is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Clinical Instructor at UCLA, and the Founder of Remedy Psychiatry. She specializes in helping patients with mental health conditions such as major depressive disorder, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson holds a BS in Operations Research Industrial Engineering from Cornell University and an MD from The State University of New York, Downstate College of Medicine.
Kirsten Thompson, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Expert Answer
Cut off communication as much as possible! Occasional check-up calls, texts, and social media visits won't help your mind or body adapt to a life without this person.
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Tips

It takes time to forget about someone, so be patient with yourself. You will feel better in time.
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Warnings

If you’re feeling depressed or having thoughts of self harm, talk to someone you trust immediately or see your doctor. As another option, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available at 988 in the United States and Canada. You will feel better, so please don’t give up.
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