How to Find a Social Support System When You Have Bipolar Disorder

An important part of coping with mental illness is a stable support system. Support can include emotional support, information and advice, and daily support, such as help with housework. Many people with bipolar disorder remain isolated and do not get adequate support from friends, family, and community.^{[1]XResearch source} Finding support close to you is an important part of coping with your bipolar disorder.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Taking Advantage of Existing Relationships

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Reach out to family and friends, if you feel you can. If you have family and friends who care about you and want to help support you, give them the chance to help you. Reaching out to them for support is a sign of strength. When you struggle with a mental illness, you need a strong support system, and if you can, start at home and with those close to you.^{[2]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- Let your family know your struggles and how they can help. Say, “I need help feeling like I can lead a productive life while having bipolar disorder. Can you help me look for jobs or make sure I get to therapy each week?”
- Write a list of people you’d like to keep in regular contact with, such as parents, siblings, or good friends, new friends or neighbors.^{[3]XResearch source}
- If you don't have family or friends, or anyone you can depend on, your therapist can be a good starting point. Your therapist can help you create a plan to develop your support system.
2
Identify supportive and unsupportive people in your life. It may be helpful to make a list of any close friends and family you consider positive and supportive — but it may be difficult to distinguish who in your life is a supportive influence and who is not.
- Some characteristics of supportive people include: being a good listener (someone who lets you express yourself without judgement, criticism, or interruption); having a positive attitude; following up with you to see how you're doing; encouraging or inspiring positive psychological states; providing motivation without being pushy or abusive; communicating clearly and assertively; walking the talk (says she will be there for you and actually shows up).^{[4]XResearch source}^{[5]XResearch source}
- Some characteristics of people who may not be supportive include: withdrawing from you or closing you out emotionally; causing you to feel stressed out when you interact; encouraging unhealthy behaviors; communicating aggressively or passive-aggressively; making a big deal about helping you (making you feel indebted); making promises but never following through.^{[6]XTrustworthy SourcePubMed CentralJournal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of HealthGo to source}^{[7]XResearch source}
- If you're unsure about a person, try this: Imagine yourself in a stressful or crisis situation. Do you feel that you could call on this person for help? Would she respond in a way that would be supportive and helpful? Do you consider her as someone you can generally count on?^{[8]XResearch source}
3
Have a caregiver and/or an advocate. A caregiver is someone who works on your behalf to keep you afloat with your mental health functioning. This person is your social support and liaison when you need someone to help you or stand up for you. Your caregiver can recognize any warning signs of bipolar and can help you manage your symptoms. An advocate can help you get outside professional assistance if necessary. You can request an advocate where you receive your behavioral health services.^{[9]XResearch source}
- Caregivers are usually family members who commit to your wellness. This can be a difficult role, so it’s important that a caregiver knows how to cope well with stressors.
4
Choose friends and support that encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle. Drugs and alcohol can negatively impact treatment for bipolar disorder. Some drugs can trigger mania while others, including alcohol, can trigger depression. It’s best to live a lifestyle devoid of these substances. This is especially important to remember if you are taking any prescribed medication.^{[10]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source} If you are prone to go out drinking or to engage in recreational drugs, find people in your life who do not engage in these activities.
- Be selective in who is allowed in your social circle and choose people who are willing to support your choice to live a healthy life.
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Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Finding Support in Groups

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Join a support group. A support group for people with bipolar disorder can be therapeutic in itself. A support group is a place to share experiences and advice with people who have “been there.” Through the good times and the bad times, a support group can be an excellent resource for giving and receiving support from other people who have bipolar disorder in your community.^{[11]XResearch source}
- Ask your therapist or advocate to find online resources to connect you with a local support group.
2
Attend group therapy. Group therapy can help you face your mental health challenges while engaging with other people who may struggle with similar problems. Group therapy can be rewarding in finding common bonds with others who are working through life’s challenges.^{[12]XTrustworthy SourceAmerican Psychological AssociationLeading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologistsGo to source} Choose a group that sounds interesting to you. There may be a group designed for people coping with bipolar disorder, or you may choose a group focusing on depression or social skills.
- Unlike support groups, group therapy is typically run by psychologists or therapists and may involve learning and practicing skills.
3
Take advantage of university behavioral health services. If you are a student, it’s likely there are services in place that you are eligible to use. Contact your school or university to discuss what services are available.^{[13]XTrustworthy SourceNational Alliance on Mental IllnessGrassroots mental health-focused organization providing resources, support, and education for those affected by mental illnessGo to source} Often, mental health services through colleges and universities are free of cost.
- Call the mental health center or make an appointment with a mental health therapist to discuss support options provided by the school.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Exploring New Relationships for Support

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Pick up a hobby. Find something that interests you and go do it. This can be going to a book club, a hiking meetup, a sewing class, or participating in community gardening. Choose a social hobby that allows you to connect with other individuals interested in similar activities.^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- This is a great way to meet people and build a network of like-minded people near you.
2
Engage in a physical activity.^{[15]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source} Part of living a healthy lifestyle includes engaging in physical activity. Look to your community to see what activities are offered: maybe you want to join the bowling league, co-ed sport teams, or start going to classes at a local gym. Engaging in exercise is healthy for your mind and body, and it’s a bonus to engage in social activities while doing it.
- Joining a sports league will help you connect with people with similar interests as you. Choose a sport or physical activity that appeals to you.
Doing scheduled activities can be as simple as walking your dog each day in a well-populated area, going to yoga or spinning classes every Tuesday, or even weekly walks with a friend. When you engage in social activities that are scheduled and planned, it’s likely that people will be there who are willing to talk and perhaps become friends.^{[16]XResearch source}
4
Volunteer. Volunteering is an effective way to make friends and do some good. Find a cause you feel you can contribute to, and then locate a place to volunteer. It’s likely you’ll meet other like-minded people also wanting to do good with their lives. You can develop and practice social skills while volunteering.^{[17]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- For more information on volunteering, check out How to Volunteer.
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Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Enhancing Your Social Skills

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Practice some basic social skills. It’s difficult to reach out for support if you doubt your ability to connect with others. If you fear you cannot connect well with others or struggle to initiate friendships, learn some basic social skills and practice them. Learn and practice some friendships skills such as being a good listener, giving space and not assigning roles or rules, and being forgiving. Don’t have expectations set onto other people and instead, let friendships evolve naturally.^{[18]XTrustworthy SourceHelpGuideNonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.Go to source}
- You can also join a social skills group, which joins people wishing to enhance their social skills together in a therapeutic setting.
- For more information, check out How to Improve Social Skills.
2
Improve your nonverbal communication. Without even knowing it, you may give people the impression that you are closed to interacting. Actions like crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or being physically distant can communicate disinterest.^{[19]XResearch source} Try looking people in the eyes when you are interacting and keep your body relaxed yet not slouching.
- Observe someone you consider to have good social skills interacting with others. Notice what this person does to draw people in, then practice these skills.
You are worthy of having quality relationships and caring people who love you. You do not deserve to suffer in silence or to be isolated because you fear being a burden to others. Trust that people care about you and want to support you.
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