How to Find Peers Who Are Positive Influences

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1Searching for Positive People

2Meeting People

3Being a Positive Person

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Finding people who are positive influences is important. However, it is not always easy to find positive peers to be around. Working on being a positive person yourself can help you attract other positive people. When looking for positive peers, look for people who have characteristics you admire, who are motivated, and who have similar interests.

Steps

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Searching for Positive People

1. 
   1
   Determine what you value. Before you can find positive peers, you should figure out what you value. This helps you determine what you are looking for in other positive people. Ask yourself what your values are, what you are interested in, and what you look for in positive interactions.

   • For example, you may want to write down your top five values, along with your top five characteristics you look for in other people.
   • Values may include family, getting good grades, being honest, making positive career choices, integrity, or helping others.
   • You can also write down what you don't want in people so you know what separates a positive from a negative person.
2. 
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   Look for people with characteristics you admire. When you are looking for peers that can be positive influences, try to find people who you admire. Determine what characteristics you respect and strive for, like honesty, integrity, good sportsmanship, kindness, or determination. Look for people with those qualities.

   • You may not always be able to tell if people have the characteristics you seek. Watch what people do and listen to what they say. You should be able to tell if people are kind, positive, or motivated.
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3. 
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   Search for people who have similar interests. People who share interests with you can be a positive and motivating influence for you. Not only will you have something you both are interested in, but people who share interests with you are less likely to encourage you to do something you do not want to do.

   • You can try to join clubs or organizations to meet people interested in the same things. You can try social meet ups for activities, or take a class or lessons.
   • If you meet someone who is better at an activity that you, that person can be a positive motivation to encourage you to improve. You may even be able to work with the person and ask them to help you.
4. 
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   Find people who are motivated. Surrounding yourself with people who are negative and unmotivated can cause you to underachieve and be apathetic. If you surround yourself with people who are motivated and have goals, this can encourage you to achieve your own goals and succeed. When you are choosing people to hang around, go for the ones who are focused on their goals.

   • If you see others working hard towards their goals, it can be a positive influence for you. For example, if your friends are studying hard and paying attention in class, this can influence you to stay focused on school. If you see your peers training hard for the season, you may feel inspired to train and do better, too.
5. 
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   Keep track of how others make you feel. You can find positive influences by tracking how other people make you feel. When you are around someone, pinpoint what your mood is during the interaction and afterwards. It won't take you long to figure out who makes you happy and energized, and who brings you down.

   • After you interact with someone, write down their name and your mood. If someone brings you down, try interacting with them once or twice more just to make sure the person wasn't having a bad day.
   • If someone criticizes you, makes you feel bad, or is harmful towards you, the person is not worth pursuing.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Meeting People

1. 
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   Join a team or organization. Being part of a positive group can do a lot to motivate and inspire you. Consider joining a sports team, a drama group, a band or chorus, or an organization for a cause you believe in. Being surrounded by people who are positive and work together for a common purpose can help you stay positive and motivated.

   • For example, if you enjoy sports, consider joining the soccer, track, or basketball team. Go out for community theater, join your church choir, or join the school band. Get involved in a local animal shelter or recycling organization.
2. 
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   Volunteer. A good way to find positive people is through positive actions, such as volunteering. Volunteering not only allows you to be positive by giving back to your community, but it also puts you around like-minded people. You may be able to surround yourself with other people who care about your community and others.

   • Look into volunteer organizations in your area. Find a cause you are really passionate about, like animals, autism, or the environment, and volunteer for those organizations in your area.
3. 
   3
   Go to events. Another great way to meet people is to go to events. School, community, or group events put you around a lot of other people who may have similar interests to you. This can include school sports games, campus events, or community festivals.

   • You can try local professional sports games or music concerts.
   • Many communities have events in the park, like movies or plays in the park.
4. 
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   Visit local establishments. You may meet people who have similar interests to you by visiting local establishments. You can go to museums, coffee shops, or libraries. Try a music shop or comic book shop. These places can put you around people who like the same things you do.

   • Some of these places may hold get togethers or events you can attend. Libraries often host events, coffee shops may have music, poetry, or game nights, museums have open houses and mixers and comic book shops have game nights.
5. 
   5
   Smile and speak to others. If you are looking for positive peers, be proactive about it. Smile at someone you think is a positive person. Speak to them or try to start a conversation. If they are as positive as you think, they will probably welcome the interaction and respond to you.

   • For example, smile at the person you always see in the library or speak to the person who is always in your gym class.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being a Positive Person

1. 
   1
   Highlight your best self. One way to find positive peers is to be a positive person yourself. Put forth your strengths and your best characteristics. You may need to remind yourself of your positive attributes if you feel unsure. Try not to focus on your perceived faults.

   • For example, if you believe your compassion for others, intelligence, and sense of humor are your best attributes, you should focus on those. When you talk to others, remind yourself of these features and let them show through.
   • Push all negative thoughts about yourself and self-doubt out of your mind. Instead, repeat to yourself, “I am not my shortcomings. I am a positive person with many great things to contribute to others.”
   • If you find yourself getting stuck in destructive habits, try keeping a trigger log. Once you become more aware of your patterns, you can work on reframing your beliefs and breaking bad habits.
2. 
   2
   Listen to others. A good way to be a good, positive person that other positive person is drawn to is to be a good listener. Pay attention to people and be genuinely interested in what they say and do. If someone talks to you, put your attention on them instead of a cell phone or someone else.

   • Ask questions to show that you are interested in the other person.
   • Gauge how interested the other person is in you. Are they just talking about themselves or are they also asking you questions and encouraging you to talk?
3. 
   3
   Work on healing your negativity. Everyone, even positive people, have negative characteristics and negativity in their mind. The difference between positive and negative people is that positive people are aware of their negativity and work on healing it while negative people let the negativity grow. To find other positive people, you should work on becoming more positive by healing your negativity.

   • You can try meditation, yoga, or stress-relieving exercises like tai chi to try to lessen any negativity in your life.
   • Schedule short breaks during the mid-morning and mid-afternoon to practice mindfulness. You might stretch, listen to music, get some fresh air, or focus on your breathing.
   • Some people benefit from talking to a therapist or undergoing psychotherapy, especially if their negativity is rooted in mental illnesses, such as anxiety or depression.
   • Ultimately, focus on developing your own self-esteem and cultivating your core values. This way, you naturally begin to let go of anything that doesn't benefit you.
4. 
   4
   Be authentic. When you are trying to find positive influences, you should also focus on yourself. Positive people are authentic and not phony. This means you should put forth your true self instead of pretending or acting how you think everyone else wants you to be. Listen openly to others and don't pretend to like things they do just to try to connect.

   • Being authentic means that you are true to your beliefs, present your true self to others, and are honest with others.
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Expert Q&A

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• Question

  What are the influences of peer group?

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
  Professional Counselor

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

  Professional Counselor

  Expert Answer

  Peer groups can influence how we feel about ourselves and the world, the values we hold, and the choices we make.

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• Question

  What is positive peer influence?

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
  Professional Counselor

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

  Professional Counselor

  Expert Answer

  Positive peer influence is when people support and encourage each other. Positive peers look for strengths in each other and feel good about spending time together. They see each other as a source of strength and support.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If How.com.vn has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support How.com.vn

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• Question

  How can your peers affect your health?

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
  Professional Counselor

  Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

  

  Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

  Professional Counselor

  Expert Answer

  Research suggests that positive social support can impact longevity, self-esteem, sense of belonging, all which contribute to overall wellbeing.

  Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
  Thank you for your feedback.
  If How.com.vn has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support How.com.vn

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