How to Feel Gratitude when You Have Depression

The benefits of gratitude have been highly recognized in research, including improved physical health, better psychological health, more empathy, help with coping with stress and overcoming trauma, and improved self-esteem.^{[1]XResearch source} Many people with depression struggle to get restful sleep, and gratitude can even help you sleep better.^{[2]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} Yet, it's terribly difficult to feel happy and grateful when you're in an episode of depression. Even when you're at your lowest, remind yourself that you can practice being grateful and improve your state.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Changing Your Attitude

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Recognize that now is the most important time to feel grateful. While gratitude magnifies the goodness during good times, it is essential to be grateful when you face difficult times. Gratitude can help you cope with challenges by filling you with hope and healing.^{[3]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source}
- While feeling grateful may be difficult because feelings come and go, being grateful is a choice. Remind yourself that you have the choice to choose gratefulness.
2
Identify benefits of gratitude against depression. Aside from the many physical and psychological benefits of gratitude, there are specific links to gratitude lifting depressive symptoms. Gratitude helps shift thoughts from negative outcomes to positive outcomes. Being grateful boosts “feel good” hormones in your brain such as serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, which can help buffer against depression.^{[4]XResearch source}
- Instead of focusing on what you lack, focus your attention on what you have.^{[5]XTrustworthy SourceHarvard Medical SchoolHarvard Medical School's Educational Site for the PublicGo to source}
- If you are reluctant to practice gratitude, remember the benefits of it against depression. Say to yourself, “I want to practice gratitude as a way to overcome depression.”
3
Counteract your negative feelings. Resentment, envy, regret, and symptoms of depression can be alleviated through gratefulness.^{[6]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} The reason for this is because gratitude and feelings like envy are incompatible; you cannot feel both grateful and in lack at the same time.
- If you're engaging in negative thoughts about the past, present, or future, start thinking of what you are grateful for in this moment.
- Notice the negative feelings when they start to appear. As soon as you notice them, say, “I am feeling regret, and it doesn't feel good. Instead, I am choosing to feel grateful for one thing right now.”
- Even if it's hard to change how you feel, you can always change your attitude. For more information, check out How to Change Your Attitude.
4
Practice, practice, practice. Although doing a gratitude practice may feel contrived at first, keep at it. Your mental state will grow in strength as you keep practicing.^{[7]XTrustworthy SourceHarvard Medical SchoolHarvard Medical School's Educational Site for the PublicGo to source} Remind yourself that there is good in this world and that you are the recipient of many good things.^{[8]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source}
- It may take considerable effort at first, but with consistent practice, you can begin to see and feel the benefits of your practice.
- Make a habit of practicing gratitude. For instance, start each day by thinking of one thing you're grateful for.
- Notice the way you feel when you give gratitude. As your practice grows, see how your feelings change. Do you feel more hopeful? More positive? How do you relate to symptoms of depression when you're in gratitude?
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Cultivating Internal Gratitude

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Write a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is useful for cultivating gratitude on a daily basis. Write in your journal each day, either morning or night (or both!). Start with 5 things that you are grateful for each day. The activity of using a journal makes the practice of gratitude intentional and conscious each day.^{[9]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} It's also a great way to look back on your life and see where you were at during different points in your life.
- Waking up in the morning and writing in your gratitude journal can jumpstart your day and keep you in joyful anticipation, or combat feelings of dread.
- Journaling at the end of the day can close out your day with feelings of contentment as you go to bed.
- For more information, check out How to Start a Gratitude Journal.
2
Count your blessings. Maybe keeping a journal sounds like too much work or effort. Instead, you can find time throughout the day to acknowledge the things you are grateful for. Silently acknowledge the big and little things in your life daily.^{[10]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source}
- For example, think of one thing in the morning, another at lunch, and one at bedtime.
- Wear a bracelet every day and remind yourself that each time you see it, you think of something you are grateful for.
3
Remember challenging moments. While this sounds counter-intuitive, think back to a difficult period in your life. Perhaps you went through a difficult breakup, a traumatic event, or the death of a loved one. Now reflect on the fact there here you are, able to look back on that as a memory.^{[11]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} You successfully overcame that difficult period of life and you have what it takes to get through dark moments.
- Write in your journal about a challenging time you went through. Recall what it felt like, and what got you through the difficult time. Note the strengths and personal attributes you utilized to get through it.
- Perhaps you're going through another even darker time now. By looking back on difficult situations, you can reflect that you found your way out of the dark then, and you can do it again.
4
List three good things. While depression can make you feel like everything is in a negative light, expressing gratitude can help you see the silver lining. Think about three good things that have happened in the last week.^{[12]XResearch source} Then, explain why those things happened. This practice can help you change that negative fog into a more positive approach.
- For example, one good thing could be, “My dog greeted me at the door every day this week.” For the explanation, you can say, “My dog loves me and he is excited to see me every day when I get home. This fills me with happiness, even when I feel down.”
- Another example: “I was nervous about making my deadline, but I made it on time. I put in a lot of work and even though I felt stressed, I finished on time. This made me feel good and accomplished.”
5
Meditate. Mindfulness meditation often involves focusing your attention on one thing (such as “peace” or “calm”). While practicing meditation, tune your focus onto gratitude. Let any thoughts you have float out of your awareness and bring your attention back to gratitude.
- Choose one thing that you feel grateful for and meditate on it.^{[13]XTrustworthy SourceHarvard Medical SchoolHarvard Medical School's Educational Site for the PublicGo to source} This can be a warm sunny day, a delicious meal, a hug from a child, or a beautiful painting.
- Practice feeling gratitude for your relationships. Focus on one person at a time, like your mother, father, grandparent, partner or spouse, or child. Focus on the feeling of gratitude you have for this person being in your life.
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Expressing Gratitude Outwardly

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Write a personal letter. Address a letter to someone you are grateful for and hand deliver it.^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} Write a letter to someone who has inspired you or pushed you to pursue a goal. Or, write a letter to someone who has been supportive of you or very helpful to you.
- Choose one person who you feel grateful for yet you haven't told them your gratitude. Write a letter and give it to this person, no matter how much time has elapsed.
- Express why their actions were meaningful to you and how much you appreciate the gesture and the person. You can say, “Thank you for the support you gave me during a difficult time. It meant a lot to me that you were willing to be there for me at my worst. I won't forget the time you came over, cooked me dinner, and brought a movie. It really cheered me up. Thank you.”
2
Practice mental subtraction of relationships. Learn to appreciate the people in your life by imagining life without them.^{[15]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} This is especially good to practice in consideration of your partner, spouse, children, and close friends. Think of one person in your life and imagine life without this individual.
- For example, think about your best friend and what he or she adds to your life. Now, think what it would be like without that person. How many years would your life be affected? What choices would you have made or not made?
- Once you've done this exercise, share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with this person and let him or her know how much you appreciate them.
- For more information, check out How to Write a Letter of Appreciation.
3
Savor experiences and things. Start to savor the things that come into your life that are positive. It can be easy to gloss over things that pass in and out of your day, yet stop and savor feel-good moments, wonderful people, and the beauty around you.^{[16]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} If you hear beautiful music, stop and enjoy the sounds. If you see a beautiful flower, stop and admire it.
- If you notice a beautiful sunset, stop and admire it. Think about how beautiful it is and how much you enjoy it.
- If you smell an enticing aroma, follow it and see where it takes you. You may find a new favorite restaurant!
- Fully awaken your senses to begin savoring your surroundings. Share in the experience by inviting someone to come along and enjoy the experience with you.
4
Pay it forward. Gratitude encourages you to appreciate what you have, but also to pay it forward. As one sociologist refers to gratitude as “the moral memory of mankind.”^{[17]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source} If you're feeling grateful for something or someone, act on your gratitude and pay it forward. When a thoughtful stranger helps you out, the memory and the feelings last a long time and make you feel good.
- Give someone you love something to be grateful for, such as a home-cooked meal, a card, a warm hug, or something else thoughtful.
- If you notice a stranger in need, stop and help. Perhaps this person doesn't have enough money at the check-out counter. Offer to pay the remaining balance. Or you can pay for a stranger's food at a restaurant. These small acts can make a large impact on someone's day.
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