Download ArticleDownload Article

Nobody likes to see someone sad, but when it's your friend, you can't sit by and do nothing. The person may have had a fight with their spouse, lost a job promotion, had a loved one die, gotten diagnosed with a terminal disease, or any other heartbreaking event that could have caused them to be sad. They are lucky to have a friend like you to help them through this tough time. Here are some suggestions on how you can encourage your sad friend.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Listening to Them

Download Article
  1. How.com.vn English: Step 1 Ask them what's wrong.
    Ask them if they want to talk about it. You can say, "I can tell that you've been really upset lately. Is something wrong?" They may want to talk and has been waiting for the invitation. Therefore, listen to their answer.[1] Be silent and don't interrupt. You don't need to offer you words of advice unless they ask.
    • If they don't want to talk about it, respect their choice. They may be too hurt at the moment, feeling that they will break down if they talk about it. They may just need to process the situation and their feelings for a while. Give them some time, and let them know you're there when they feel like talking.
  2. How.com.vn English: Step 2 Support them emotionally.
    Remind them that they're a great person and how much they means to you. Acknowledge their feelings when they share her pain. You could say something like, "I know that's got to hurt. I'm sorry you're going through this."[2] Continue to show them kindness and encouragement. Continue to be a loyal friend. Now is not the time to abandon or avoid them.
    • Don't go around telling others about their problem.
    • If they ask for your advice, then give it.
    • If you don't know what to tell them, then suggest someone else who could, like another trusted friend, a family member, or a professional.
    Advertisement
  3. How.com.vn English: Step 3 Try to understand what your friend is going through.
    If you can't understand, then just listen. You can offer support without encouraging a situation with which you disagree. Don't condemn them and rub salt in their wound. For instance, if they're upset over a fight that they had with their spouse, don't say, "I told you that you should have never married him."
    • If you can't say anything in their favor, then simply tell them that you're here for them regardless.[3]
    • Don't minimize their feelings.
    • A hug and a squeeze of the hand speaks volumes.
  4. How.com.vn English: Step 4 Be patient.
    Your friend may be grumpy or short with you, and they may snap at you. Don't take it personally. Ignore it and realize they're not themself. They are under a lot of stress, and you know that they've seen better and happier days.
  5. Advertisement
Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Reminding Her to Smile

Download Article
  1. How.com.vn English: Step 1 Make them laugh.
    Get silly together. Play some music and silly dance. Rent a funny movie and watch it with them. Tell them some funny jokes. Reminisce about funny memories you share together.
  2. How.com.vn English: Step 2 Offer to take them somewhere fun.
    Offer to go shopping together. That can be a fun venture. Offer to take them to lunch to talk or to get her around other people. Consider your friend's personality and hobbies. Ask yourself, "What can I do to encourage my friend and distract them? What do they enjoy doing?"
    • Your friend may initially decline your invitation. They may tell you that they're not up to going anywhere. Encourage them and tell them that they don't need to be alone during this sad time, and that getting around other people would be good for them.[4]
  3. How.com.vn English: Step 3 Buy them a nice gift or card.
    The gift could be something as simple as a small box of candy, a bottle of scented lotions, or her favorite flowers. A sincere card that addresses their specific issue is appreciated as well. Any of those items will tell your friend that you appreciate them and that you're thinking of them in her time of need. This will also help them get her mind off of their problems, if only temporarily.
    • Your action gives your friend evidence that there are people in the world who care about her pain and want to help.
    • Your friend will remember what you did for them when they're alone and sad.
  4. Advertisement
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Being a True-Blue Friend

Download Article
  1. How.com.vn English: Step 1 Offer to help them with a job or task.
    Ask if there is anything you can do for them. Offer to watch their kids while they spend time alone working in order to through their sadness. Offer to go to the grocery store and/or cook a meal or meals for them. Offer to clean their house. If their parent is very ill, offer to go with them when they take them to the doctor.
  2. How.com.vn English: Step 2 Let her know that you're there for them.
    They may need some alone time right now. Comply with their wishes, but tell them to call you when they need you, regardless of the time. If they take you up on your offer and call you at two in the morning, make sure you answer your phone and listen to them. If they need to see you at three in the morning, climb out of bed and go to them.
    • Don't forget to call them to say, "Hi," and to ask how they're doing and how they're feeling.
  3. How.com.vn English: Step 3 Talk to mutual friends.
    Friends who you both share can provide extra support and duplicate the cheering-up efforts. You don't want to tell them anything that your friend has told you in confidence. Ask your friend beforehand if you can tell your friends about their sadness, and clarify what you can say.
  4. How.com.vn English: Step 4 Suggest professional help.
    If your friend's sadness continues, if their sadness is interfering with their life, and if you find that you can't cheer them up, then their problem may be more serious than being upset over a difficult situation. They may be clinically depressed.[5] Be honest with your concerns. Suggest they talk to someone about her problems. Offer to help them find a counselor or therapist, and drive them to the appointment if needed.
    • If you suspect that your friend may be suicidal, then seek help immediately. Contact the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting at 988.[6]
    • If your friend is in an immediate medical crisis, call 911.[7]
  5. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Reader Videos

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      Warnings

      • Don't smother your friend when encouraging them. That will make them feel overwhelmed and could cause them to push away from you.


      Advertisement

      About This Article

      How.com.vn English: Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
      Co-authored by:
      Professional Counselor
      This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 211,548 times.
      40 votes - 85%
      Co-authors: 20
      Updated: April 30, 2024
      Views: 211,548
      Categories: Supporting Friends
      Article SummaryX

      If your friend is feeling sad, you can help cheer them up by spending time with them and coming up with fun things to do together. Invite your friend to hang out and then rent a funny movie together. You could also offer to take them somewhere fun. For example, if your friend loves to shop, invite them to the mall and go to some stores you think they'd enjoy. Even if your friend isn't up for going out, you can still bring them a nice gift to cheer them up, like some candy or a good book. For advice on how to let your sad friend know that you’re there for them, keep reading!

      Did this summary help you?

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 211,548 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • How.com.vn English: Bree Gardner

        Bree Gardner

        Mar 29, 2017

        "One of my friends is going through a hard time at school and at our equestrian center. I care about her, so I..." more
        Rated this article:
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      ⚠️ Disclaimer:

      Content from Wiki How English language website. Text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License; additional terms may apply.
      Wiki How does not encourage the violation of any laws, and cannot be responsible for any violations of such laws, should you link to this domain, or use, reproduce, or republish the information contained herein.

      Notices:
      • - A few of these subjects are frequently censored by educational, governmental, corporate, parental and other filtering schemes.
      • - Some articles may contain names, images, artworks or descriptions of events that some cultures restrict access to
      • - Please note: Wiki How does not give you opinion about the law, or advice about medical. If you need specific advice (for example, medical, legal, financial or risk management), please seek a professional who is licensed or knowledgeable in that area.
      • - Readers should not judge the importance of topics based on their coverage on Wiki How, nor think a topic is important just because it is the subject of a Wiki article.

      Advertisement