How to Deal with Your BFF Bringing in a Lesbian Girl Into the Group

No matter how many individuals you've met, there are always those who are a little unsettling to be around. This can be along the lines of ethnicity, religion, or even sexuality in some cases. This article should be able to help you figure out how to 'deal' with your BFF bringing a lesbian into your group of friends.

Method 1
Method 1 of 1:

Be Accepting

  1. How.com.vn English: Step 1 Make an effort to be open.
    Nobody expects you to be open and accepting on the first date. However, you must recognize that anyone in the LGBT community is still a human being. If at all possible, you should try to get to know them. Even if you disagree with the LGBT community or same-sex couples, they are still people who deserve to be respected. Your opinion is valid, even if they do not agree with everything you do; however, keep in mind that theirs is as well. Simply be respectful!
  2. How.com.vn English: Step 2 Take a breath.
    Lesbians and other LGBT+ individuals aren't looking for just anyone. They are ordinary people—k eep in mind that humans are supposed to be respected and treated fairly. Keep in mind the golden rule: "Treat others as you would like to be treated." 
  3. How.com.vn English: Step 3 If you feel uneasy, take a step back.
    It's as simple as that; all you have to do is put up with a little bit of conversation before never speaking to this person again. It may be awkward, but being nice to the person is all that is required. Don't pass judgment. Hate that person for being who they are; they can't help themselves.
  4. How.com.vn English: Step 4 Talk to your friend and have a private conversation if you need to.
     If your friend is also a closeted lesbian, being open about uncomfortable and 'bigotry' will only cause chaos and may end two friendships at once.
    • Instead of this, support them by being a good listener. Listen to them without judgement.[1]
    • Make sure they feel safe and know they can be themselves.[2]
    • Let them know that you want to support them. Ask what you can do for them as a good friend.[3]
  5. How.com.vn English: Step 5 Accept that some people may have friends who aren't your friends, and that you can't change other people's minds about them.
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      Tips

      • If you can't accept the lesbian girl, or don't want to be in the group with an LGBTQ individual, then leave the friendship circle.
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      Warnings

      • Not everyone can accept everyone, but remember that they are still human. You should still treat a human being the way they should be treated.
      • Avoid making crude remarks about LGBTQ people, rights, or marriage. This can end friendships and make people feel really hurt.
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      About this article

      How.com.vn English: Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC
      Co-authored by:
      Licensed Clinical Social Worker
      This article was co-authored by Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC. Deb Schneider is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Oakland, CA, and a Program Manager for the Weiland Health Initiative at Stanford University. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in creating safe spaces, respectful of marginalized identities, at the high school and college levels. Deb holds a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and Women's Studies from Clark University and a Master of Social Work (MSW) with Health Concentration from the University of California, Berkeley School of Social Welfare. This article has been viewed 2,203 times.
      1 votes - 0%
      Co-authors: 18
      Updated: June 24, 2022
      Views: 2,203
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 2,203 times.

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