How to Deal with Rude Customer Service Representatives

It’s never acceptable for customer service representatives to be rude. However, if you do get a rude rep, what do you do? Your best strategy is to maintain your calm and try to win the person over. If that fails, ask to escalate the issue to a supervisor or manager. Once you have exhausted all possibilities, you should write a letter to company management and complain about the rude service you have received.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Handling a Rude Customer Service Rep

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1
Stay calm. You don’t know why the customer service representative is being so rude. For example, they might have had a bad day. Don’t assume they are being rude because they don’t like you. In fact, they don’t even know you. Stay calm, no matter how unreasonable the rep is being.^{[1]XResearch source}
- You can calm yourself by taking a couple of deep breaths. Breathe in using your diaphragm and exhale through your mouth.
- If you are dealing with a representative in person (as opposed to over the phone), then it is particularly important to remain calm. People pick up all sorts of visual cues based on your gestures. Keep your arms to your side and your hands still.
- One way to calm down is to smile. Even if you are on the phone, smiling can lift your spirits and make you calmer.
2
Speak politely. You might think being rude in return will get results. Unfortunately, you are wrong. Instead, polite customers tend to get better service.^{[2]XResearch source} You want the customer service rep to like you.
- Remember to add a “please” to every request. For example, “Can you please help me figure out why my bill is so high?”
- Also remember to say “thank you” no matter how little the representative has helped you. For example, if they patch you through to someone else, say “thank you” before the transfer goes through.
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Praise the representative. Customer Service reps usually feel underappreciated—by their bosses as well as by other customers. Find any opportunity to tell them what a good job they are doing.^{[3]XResearch source}
- For example, you can say, “You’ve been so patient with me, I know you’re a great employee.”
- If you find it hard to praise the rude rep, then try to empathize with them. Say, “I imagine you must be swamped with calls right now.”^{[4]XResearch source}
4
Be brief. You are more likely to get helpful service if you can quickly explain why you need help. If you need to write an email, don’t write a long one. In fact, the shorter the email the better.^{[5]XResearch source} Also keep your phone calls as brief as possible. No one needs a long, drawn-out story.
- Customer service reps are often judged based on the average length of their phone calls, so they will appreciate the brevity as well.
- One way to keep your request brief is to outline what you want to say before picking up the phone. This is a good habit to get into before calling customer service.
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Repeat your request. If you are trying to cancel a service, you may be sent to a “retention specialist.” This person is trained to make it as difficult as possible to cancel your service. One technique they use is to get you sidetracked by asking endless questions. Ignore the questions and remember to repeat what you want.
- For example, if you want to cancel a newspaper, the rep might ask, “Don’t you want to keep up with domestic politics?” You don’t have to answer.
- Instead, repeat your request: “I’d like to cancel my delivery, please.”^{[6]XResearch source}
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Ask to escalate the call. Escalating a call means that you want to talk with a supervisor or a manager. Often, simply asking to escalate the issue will get you what you want.^{[7]XResearch source}
- Remember to remain polite as you ask. You can say, “I’d like to escalate this to a supervisor, please.”
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Keep detailed notes of the conversation. Get the names of everyone you speak to. Also write down detailed notes about what each person said.^{[8]XResearch source} You’ll want this information when you write a letter of complaint to the business.
- Alternately, you should think about recording the rude customer service representative. Make sure to tell the rep that you are recording them, so that they know.^{[9]XResearch source} This alone might calm them down.
- If you aren’t immediately transferred, repeat your request.
8
Call back later. You might not make any headway at all with a rude customer service rep. If not, you might be better off simply hanging up and calling back at a later time.^{[10]XResearch source} With luck, you’ll get a different rep.
- If you get the same customer service representative, you can ask to be transferred to someone else.
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Tweet about your problem. Sometimes, tweeting about a negative experience will get better results than calling. Many companies put their best people online to track what is being said about the company. Remember to maintain a calm, even tone in your tweet. Don’t be rude.^{[11]XTrustworthy SourceFederal Trade CommissionWebsite with up-to-date information for consumers from the Federal Trade CommissonGo to source}
- Often, the company will tweet back that they are looking into the issue.
- However, tweeting isn’t a surefire way to get help. You may need to write a letter of complaint to the company’s management.

Part 2

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Writing a Letter of Complaint

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1
Find sample letters. If you’ve never written a letter of complaint, then you can find many samples online. The Federal Trade Commission has a sample letter you can use here: https://consumer.ftc.gov/consumer-alerts/2015/09/how-write-effective-complaint-letter. Remember to revise it to suit your purposes.
- You might hesitate to write a letter. However, realize that it is important to put a complaint in writing. The company’s management might not be aware that their customer service reps are so rude.
2
State your complaint. Set up the letter like a standard business letter. In the first paragraph, identify the product you bought and when.^{[12]XTrustworthy SourceFederal Trade CommissionWebsite with up-to-date information for consumers from the Federal Trade CommissonGo to source} You can also explain why you needed to call customer service in the same paragraph.
- For example, you can write, “On April 1, 2016, I bought high-speed Internet service from you. Unfortunately, the Internet speeds are no faster than dial-up, and I want to cancel my service. When I called your help line, the customer service representative was completely unable to help me.”
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Identify what you want done. If the rep wouldn’t give you what you want (e.g., a refund, cancel your service, etc.), then also mention what you want the company to do for you. Be explicit. For example, you might want a refund, replacement, or cancellation.
- You can write, “To resolve this issue, I would appreciate a full refund of the purchase price. The warranty gave me 60 days to cancel if I was unhappy with your service for any reason. I will send back any equipment requested, so long as you provide me with a box. I have provided a copy of my contract and my warranty for your convenience.”^{[13]XTrustworthy SourceFederal Trade CommissionWebsite with up-to-date information for consumers from the Federal Trade CommissonGo to source}
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Complain about the customer service. After explaining what you want, you can include a paragraph about the rude customer service you received. Include as much detail as possible. Rely on your notes.
- For example, you might write, “I also need to complain about the rude customer service I received. I first spoke to Melissa Smith, who repeatedly told me that I could not cancel my policy. When I brought the warranty to her attention, she snapped, ‘We don’t offer a money-back guarantee!’ Although I tried to escalate the issue, she refused to patch me through to a manager or supervisor and repeated that I needed to pay a $300 cancellation fee.”
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End the letter. Finish with a deadline for the company to respond to you. Also provide contact information, such as your phone number or email. Remember to sign the letter.
- For example, you can write, “I anxiously await your response. If I don’t hear back from you by May 12, 2016, I will seek the help of a local consumer protection agency. Please email me at [email protected] or call my home number at 555-5555.”^{[14]XTrustworthy SourceFederal Trade CommissionWebsite with up-to-date information for consumers from the Federal Trade CommissonGo to source}
- Remember to include “Sincerely” and then your name.
- You can write your account number under the name.
- Also identify your enclosures. For example, you might write “Enclosures (2): warranty, contract.”
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Revise the letter. To make your letter as professional as possible, set it aside for a day or two. When you take it back out, revise the letter according to the following:^{[15]XTrustworthy SourceFederal Trade CommissionWebsite with up-to-date information for consumers from the Federal Trade CommissonGo to source}
- Eliminate sarcasm and rudeness. There’s no point complaining that a customer service representative was rude when you are rude in your own letter.
- Try to condense the letter as much as possible. It should be no longer than a page.
- Check for typos and missing words.
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Gather supporting documents. Include a copy of your notes. If you recorded the person, provide a copy of the recording. Also include any other relevant document, such as a copy of a contract or the copy of a warranty.^{[16]XTrustworthy SourceFederal Trade CommissionWebsite with up-to-date information for consumers from the Federal Trade CommissonGo to source}
- Only send copies of supporting documents, never originals. The company might lose them, so you want to be safe.
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Mail the letter certified mail. You’ll want to know when the company receives the letter, so mail it certified mail, return receipt requested. Whoever receives the letter will sign for it, and the receipt will be sent back to you.
- Remember to keep a copy of the letter for your own records. You can staple the return receipt to your copy.