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This article was co-authored by Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC. Deb Schneider is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Oakland, CA, and a Program Manager for the Weiland Health Initiative at Stanford University. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in creating safe spaces, respectful of marginalized identities, at the high school and college levels. Deb holds a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and Women's Studies from Clark University and a Master of Social Work (MSW) with Health Concentration from the University of California, Berkeley School of Social Welfare.
This article has been viewed 11,508 times.
There's no denying that people on the internet can be bullies. These people run loose with insults they wouldn't dare to speak to your face since they have nothing but a screen and a made-up username to hide behind. Regardless, their comments have the ability to wound and crush your heart. Here's how to deal with homophobia on the internet.
Steps
Don't take it personally. Whatever their problem is, it is not your fault. They've constructed a false image in their head about who you are based on their own preconceived notions on LGBT+ issues and what it means to be gay, and they are acting that way towards you based on their false image.
Realize that they may be a troll. These people are only posting to get a rise out of the community, and aren't really serious about what they're posting. Don't let them get a rise out of you.Advertisement
Avoid debating with the homophobic user if no good will come of it. Sometimes, people are set in their ways, that they will just refuse to see your side of things. They refuse to see that you do not fit their image of what it means to be gay, and arguing with them won't do much but spur on more hateful remarks and make you angry or hurt.
Be patient with someone who is trying to change. If someone is trying to change their feelings of homophobia, try to be patient with them. Remind them when they're falling back onto their stereotypes, and if they're willing to listen and see your side, explain your side using calm language.- People will respond better if you approach this as a learning opportunity to bring them in rather than shaming or blaming them.
Block the user and report them to the administrators if possible. Most online communities have rules against personal attacks, and they also have features that allows users to block or ignore another user.
Log off for a while. When things get too heated, just log off and do something else. Get your mind off it, and don't let those words follow you.
Seek support from friends or a community of people who experience the same thing. People who support you can be a tremendous help when it comes to keeping your self-esteem intact in the face of personal attacks.- Build a group of friends that are supportive and affirming of you just the way you are.
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Community Q&A
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- QuestionI just watched a game trailer with two girls kissing. A lot of the comments say it was unnecessary, even though it wasn't that long and there have been scenes with straight people. How should I react?
OpptimismCommunity AnswerMany people will judge different behaviors they don't understand. Let them talk; the only thing that you can do is know how you feel and that homophobia is wrong. Everyone deserves to live and have an opportunity to be themselves and watch similar people on social media in order to make them feel that they aren't the only ones. - QuestionWhat about people who are against homosexuals because of their own beliefs?
Community AnswerPeople are allowed to have their own beliefs. It's when they turn them into actions that it becomes a problem. Remember that you can't control the way anyone else feels, but you don't have to put up with bullying or hate speech. Everyone should be respectful no matter their beliefs. - QuestionHow can I avoid feeling bad about myself when people are disgusted with my sexuality?
NicoTop AnswererThey have no control over your sexual orientation. Try to educate people on the fact that sexuality is not a choice, but if an argument arises, it is best to ignore or report those who regard your sexuality as 'disgusting.' If you find yourself becoming angry or having your feelings hurt, disconnect from the internet for a while and take care of yourself.
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Tips
- Remember that what they're saying comes from a false image that they formed in their head, and doesn't reflect the real you. So, don't take it as an attack against the real you, because it simply isn't; they would most likely act the same way and say the same things if you were a completely different person.Thanks
- It's a lot easier to be vicious online than it is in real life. The internet brings out the worst in people, many of whom are just looking to blow off steam. Just remember that, along with the first tip.Thanks
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Warnings
- It's hard to be patient with someone that harbors negative feelings about people solely based on their sexual orientation, even if they're trying to change. However, if they are trying to change, realize that it can be hard to do if they've been pounded with that viewpoint throughout their lives.Thanks
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About this article
Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
This article was co-authored by Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC. Deb Schneider is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Oakland, CA, and a Program Manager for the Weiland Health Initiative at Stanford University. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in creating safe spaces, respectful of marginalized identities, at the high school and college levels. Deb holds a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology and Women's Studies from Clark University and a Master of Social Work (MSW) with Health Concentration from the University of California, Berkeley School of Social Welfare. This article has been viewed 11,508 times.
Co-authors: 15
Updated: June 21, 2022
Views: 11,508
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 11,508 times.
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